Modern mothers, tired of everyday life and routine, often try to relax using the Internet. Women are sure that the best rest is a change of activity, so it’s even useful for them to chat a bit on social networks after a long walk with a child. After all, babies are often naughty and indulge, than parents experience the nerves for strength. However, psychologists explain: if you are looking for a way to relax and switch to another occupation, then the Internet is not the best choice.
“Rest is a change of activity!” - sighs a young mother, setting off to “unwind” in the network for “a couple of minutes” after a two-hour walk with the children. But for some reason, an attempt to use the Internet as a means to “take a break” and “switch” works very poorly. At least not as expected.
Network "walks" as a way to relax
In the mother of a small child, days are often similar to each other. Gathering toys scattered throughout the apartment, cleaning, washing, cooking, ironing, taking care of the baby - you need to feed him, change clothes, bathe, take him for a walk. Household chores take up a lot of time. However, many mothers say that they can cope with them, because the main work for them is done by a vacuum cleaner, washing machine, slow cooker and other useful appliances.
Truly women are often tired of normal communication. This is especially true for families with several children who are fighting for the attention of the mother and turn to her at the same time. Many will want to exclaim: "I never get tired of my child, it should not be so!". In fact, they are cunning. Communicating with children, a woman shares her emotions with them, makes efforts to remain calm in case of whims and screams. Therefore, it is not surprising that one day a temporary breakdown occurs.
The desire to be quiet and guilty
Children are very curious. They literally overwhelm mom with endless questions: “Why is the grass green? Where did I come from? What is a tornado, tsunami, stars? ” In addition, the kids complain about each other, beg for sweets and toys, refuse to eat soup, brush their teeth, go to bed.
Mom constantly has to listen to the child, come up with answers to all of his “why”, persuade, explain that this is not worth doing. And you also need to read the same favorite fairy tales of the baby many times. As a result, the woman has only one desire - at least a couple of minutes to enjoy peace and quiet in order to restore energy.
When a free minute is issued, mom sits down at the computer and goes on the Internet.One could take an interesting book, but the woman decides to postpone it for the evening, because there is no strength to delve into the intricacies of the plot. Now I just want to chat with other people, forget about household chores.
However, after some time you have to leave virtual reality and return to your children. Mom first comes into their room, where unpleasant surprises await her. It turns out that without the control of adults, the kids managed to paint wallpapers, cut their bangs, tear a book of fairy tales and break a toy car. Of course, the woman begins to feel guilty of the pogrom - she herself left the children alone. At the same time, the kids come flying at her with a lot of new questions and requests. Mom understands that she does not feel rested. However, she has to quickly get into her usual rhythm.
The problem is that the Internet is a powerful communication simulator. We are talking about those sites that people use to simply distract from problems and everyday worries. On forums, social networks and online messengers the same conversations are with people, only in the form of printed messages. The vocal cords, of course, rest, but the brain works, and in enhanced mode:
- simultaneous dialogues are held in the network with several interlocutors (sometimes their number is in the tens), and you have to distribute your attention to each;
- mothers actively share their problems with each other on the Internet, which does not allow switching from childcare to something else;
- “Kilometer” posts of mothers in different forums cause participation and empathy, and this does not contribute to relaxation.
It turns out a paradox: a woman goes to the Internet to relax and switch, but in the end only gets even more tired. And the kids, left to their own devices, play pranks at this time.
Emotional burnout
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After dialogues with several dozens of virtual interlocutors, even the most open and sociable person will feel devastated by the evening. This is especially true for conversations that are accompanied by emotional involvement. They require maximum return.
In general, emotions are always involved in online communication, although the interlocutors do not even see or hear each other. Otherwise, it would not make sense to read long posts and print detailed answers to comments. A person will spend time on strangers only if other people's thoughts touch him, cause a response and empathy, a desire to help with advice or criticize what they have read.
A simple acquaintance with the posts and comments of strangers on the Internet is already communication and listening, and it is very intense. Even among the styles of high-quality journalism, the most popular today are heart-to-heart conversations and a variety of “stories”.
After reading the thoughts of others, the person has the impression that he seemed to talk with the author. If several dialogues are opened at once, the effect of polyphony arises - the same as in the children's room, where several children frolic. It turns out that reading a dozen texts in a row is equivalent to talking with the same number of real interlocutors. However, on the net, many are even more outspoken than in real life. In addition, completely different topics are raised on the forums, between which you have to quickly switch. All this requires concentration, emotional feedback. As a result, a person feels like a squeezed lemon.
We also read:13 habits that a young mother needs to get rid of
Why do books relax and internet recordings tire?
Through fiction, writers also speak with their readers. However, communication with the author of the book and online friends has fundamental differences. A rare person reads more than two books at the same time, and most often he focuses on just one. It means that:
- if mother prefers a work of art, she will have one interlocutor for several days;
- even the abundance of heroes will not cause the effect of polyphony, since all characters are perceived by the reader of the book as the experience of the writer - the main interlocutor;
- communication in the online space is closer and more frank.
Of all Internet authors, people are most attracted to intellectuals with good logic and an excellent sense of humor. Reading their notes is addictive, causes an emotional response, the desire to ask questions, comment. However, excessive communication is very tiring. When a woman distracts from the computer and returns to her children, she will realize that she has not rested at all.
Fatigue from conversations on forums and social networks negatively affects not only the child, but also her husband and other relatives. Chronic fatigue and emotional exhaustion cause irritability, and the closest ones always fall under a hot hand.
Of course, there is no need to completely abandon the Internet. It makes our life easier, more interesting, and also benefits. In the network, for example, you can find the answer to the question that the child constantly asks. However, if you are tired of communicating with children and want to stay in silence, you should not go to the online space. It is better to read a book or sleep for half an hour to restore strength.
We also read:
- Mom, turn off the phone!
- How to Become a Super Mom: 7 Important Skills
- “I am tired of being a mother”: 5 tips for building a life with a child after a year
Mom sits on the Internet and does not pay attention to the child (recommended for viewing)
A similar situation. I have a 4-year-old baby and sometimes I want to get distracted and stay in silence. Since we often get sick, I didn’t really get to work, I managed to work a little a couple of times and that's all for now. I go to the Internet often, but not for gatherings on the networks, but for finding money. And in order to somehow agree with the baby, I do it only in the afternoon or in the evening, when the child has already bathed and went to bed. It’s impossible to find another time for myself. When I try in the presence of the baby, I am constantly distracted, and this affects the results. I haven’t found any other way out yet, but still I’m emotionally at the limit. Can anyone have other matching options? I would love to try!