The baby is sleeping with mom - is it dangerous or not

Having become entranced from the constant lack of sleep and anxieties for her child, the mother takes the baby to her bed. So it’s much easier to feed him and watch him when he sleeps. But the idea that this can be dangerous for a little man does not leave her head. What if she crushes him with her body at night, or worse - will he suffocate in her arms? How real are these concerns?

Can mom harm her baby in her sleep?

Many believe that a similar situation can happen only with a woman who is not serious about her motherhood, drinks alcohol, takes sleeping pills or is not in her right mind. In fact, it turns out that such an opinion is erroneous.

“In my life there was a similar case when I, while lying in bed at night, was breastfeeding a child and at some point, unexpectedly for myself, simply dozed off. My terrible overwork led to this - I needed to keep order in the garden plot, do daily housework (washing and ironing children's things, cooking, washing dishes, vacuuming), collecting my older child at school and preparing lessons with him. A heavy breast, filled with milk, with all its weight fell on the face of my little daughter, and I woke up only because I felt her suffocating. I still remember the state of my horror, so I never fed my baby in a supine position again, but only sitting.”

But to sleep with the child in the same bed is very convenient, since usually the mother is very sensitive to any movement and sounds of her baby. The kid gives her signals that he is worried at the moment and it is easier for mother to perceive them when he is nearby.

But what should not be done for sure is to put the baby next to dad. Men are not so sensitive to children, they sleep more soundly and in a dream can involuntarily hurt them.

There is an opinion that if a child sleeps with his parents, then he can pick up various germs from them. This has no scientific justification, therefore healthy parents need not worry about this, there will be no harm from sleeping together (if mom and dad are healthy, then there is nothing for the child to pick up).

How to lay the baby?

Prepare a place where your baby will sleep. It must be solid without unnecessary things (pillows, towels, rollers, etc.). Breast should be comfortable and spacious to sleep. Eliminate places of potential danger so that the baby does not get hurt, fall, suffocate. It’s better to be overly cautious than reproach yourself for being harsh.

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Our bed stood directly against the wall, so I had to cover the empty space with a blanket so that my little daughter could not fall there. Also, the wall blows cold in winter, which can lead to colds.

How does mom sleep next to the baby?

It is scientifically proven that children subtly feel the state of the mother, feel her breathing and the frequency of heart beats. Joint sleep leads to the fact that the child "adapts" to the body of his mother and sleeps next to her much calmer.

When the baby sleeps beside her mother, she no longer needs to get out of bed at night all the time to feed him, give him water from the bottle and see if he was revealed in a dream. She only needs to catch on time what the baby needs and do it as necessary. The conclusion is requested from here: mom sleeps better when the baby sleeps with her.

One of the most practical options is to place the crib in such a way that it adjoins the parent's bed. So the mother can not only see her child, but also reach out to him with her hand to straighten the blanket, cover it, stroke it, say a few gentle soothing words (even without leaving the phase of deep sleep, so to speak half asleep), if the baby is crying or restless asleep.

READ ALSO: How to put a child to sleep without tears and vagaries

Does sharing sleep with the baby affect the relationship of parents?

Many parents do not put their child to sleep because of fears that this will become a habit and in the future will lead to his unwillingness to sleep alone. In my practice, I became convinced that these fears are not always true.

My husband and I took several rods from our daughter’s crib so that she could climb on her own and go down when she needed it. Every day, after we went to bed, she got out of her crib and came to our bed, after which she comfortably settled between us and fell asleep soundly. It surprised me how she navigated in the apartment in complete darkness, managed not to hook anything and didn’t stumble anywhere, although she had to go to our bedroom through the living room and the corridor.

Such her behavior did not last long, night visits began to occur less and less, and after a while we completely forgot about them.

Regarding the proximity between the parents of the baby, while he sleeps nearby, we can confidently say that she practically does not suffer from this. The child does not play any role here. The main unwillingness of a woman to enter into such a relationship can be explained by her fatigue, constant tension and the inability to fully relax and sleep. Although the reason may lie in another.

It is known for certain that during pregnancy and after childbirth a woman undergoes a restructuring of the whole body, respectively, the hormonal background also undergoes changes, which usually entail a decrease in libido. For any woman, the birth process is a kind of stress through which only time will help pass. Awareness of their new role in society, a completely different life and the associated troubles, the restructuring of the body - all this in no way contributes to the desire of a woman to express herself in intimate relationships. Rather, on the contrary, she will not be at all up to it.

Only the husband’s sincere desire to help, as well as his care and patience, will help the young mother to cope with all difficulties faster. Then she can again give her love and affection to her husband.

So, we can highlight several key points that young parents should remember:

1. Never take a child to sleep in your bed if you have previously drunk alcohol (even a little) or have taken any sleep stimulants. You will not be able to control your consciousness, therefore it is better to protect the baby from the possible consequences of your inadequate condition.
2. Separate a special place on your bed so that the baby sleeps on a hard surface and only in a position on its side or on its back. Otherwise, the baby can bury its face in a soft mattress and suffocate from a lack of air.
3. Free your bed from all kinds of rollers, unnecessary pillows, everything that can be dangerous for the child. Check if the baby can get into the gap between the bed and the adjacent wall.
4. Do not wear too much clothing for your baby at night if you intend to take cover under one blanket with him. The heat coming from your body will affect it all night, so there is a risk of overheating.
5. A joint dream with a baby should not bring inconvenience to his parents, and even more so negatively affect the baby himself.
6. If the baby sleeps perfectly without you, the need for a joint sleep disappears by itself. Rejoice at this state of affairs and enjoy the current situation, you will have the opportunity to devote more time to your personal relationships with your spouse.

Sleeping together with a baby is useful not only as a means of strengthening his nervous system and health, but is also important for prolonging the period of breastfeeding.

READ ALSO:

• Sleeping with your baby - together or apart
• My experience: the baby should sleep separately
• How I taught a baby to sleep in my crib
• Sharing a dream with a child: benefit or harm
• We teach a child to sleep in his crib separately from his mother (video, real stories)

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