From birth to 6 months: each comrade
A newborn child cannot understand from the very beginning how the world works. Every time his mother picks him up, the baby recognizes her smell, touch, voice, and soon begins to realize that they are followed by affection and feeding.
Thus, the child brings the mother to the limits of his small world. He can distinguish her from other people by voice, smell, gentle touch.
At about 3 months, the child clearly recognizes her face, in which before he only caught the familiar features. He also briskly responds to Mom's proximity, distinguishing her from other people. However, for the entire six months the child is friendly and smiles at everyone, and also allows everyone to keep themselves in their hands.
Parents are particularly pleased to hear from friends about how friendly their child is. However, against the background of general friendliness, the child gradually becomes more and more attached to his mother.
Six months: fear of strangers
About six months later, the baby’s behavior changes very much. At this time, the child is very attached to his mother, he wants to see her and only her, and begins to cry when strangers approach. Mom becomes his safe haven. Father, grandparents may feel unnecessary. The father may be uncomfortable with the realization that the child does not want to spend time with him. Older relatives may be puzzled and worried that their little angel no longer glows with joy while sitting on their lap. The child does not like to be away from his mother, so he begins to cry whenever she is far away.
There is nothing wrong with this behavior; it does not mean that the child has deteriorated. A necessary step in the development of the baby is to learn to recognize strangers.
During the previous months, his mother shared the sorrows and joys of the crumbs, looked after him during his illness, provided support in mastering his body, understood him without words. This, as well as physical contact, allowed Mom to become the main person in the life of the child with whom he likes to spend time most of all.
Now the baby knows that besides him and mother there is a whole world, and is still afraid of him. Therefore, he turns for support to the person to whom he is so attached. The child does not want to see anyone other than the mother, but this is temporary.
This phase of “recognizing your own and others” can confuse and tire your parents, but it is the norm and a prerequisite for social and emotional development. This is the first step that a child takes on the path to learn to distinguish between strangers and those whom he truly loves. Also, this ability will help build strong relationships in adulthood.
After 9 months: building a true relationship
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Fear of strangers lasts from 2 to 8 weeks. During this period, the child may become isolated even from his father. However, between 8 and 9 months, he will again resume relations with his father, but in a more mature sense. The degree of attachment of the child to the father depends on how much involved in the process of caring for the baby. A child may recognize his father and love to play with him, but still he often does not take such a close position as his mother, since the role of the earner in the family implies less employment in everyday worries. The father becomes much more significant in the eyes of the child after several months, or even years.
Gradually, the child establishes closer relationships with other family members or close friends of the parents, but the child’s affection is determined by the degree of adult involvement. The behavior of the baby in relation to adults outside the family is very restrained. Now he clearly defines the difference between close relatives, friendly friends and strangers. Blood relationship does not matter to him. His relationship with a neighbor may be closer than with a grandmother who lives far away.
By the end of the first year the baby can crawland sometimes to walk, is interested in the outside world, bravely walks several meters without mom and dad, but immediately returns under their protection as soon as he sees a place that carries potential danger, as well as if he is tired or injured; friendly to acquaintances even outside the family, but not indiscriminately as he was at 4 or 5 months.
We also read: What to do if dad is afraid to stay with a child - 7 simple tips
Older than a year
Within 2 and 3 years, the child’s attachment to parents becomes clearer. In his relation to them, a new aspect of giving love in return appears. He wants to share, even if he has only a piece of a dried bun. The baby is anxious if it seems to him that the parent was hurt or upset by something. In such cases, the child wants to provide support, he can kiss in comfort. At this age, children learn to love.
As they grow older, parents begin to expect more restrained behavior, and since the child loves his mom and dad, he does not want to disappoint their expectations and does what adults tell him. Gradually they begin to expect from him that he himself will cope with disappointment, learn to go to the toilet and, instead of rash actions, will first speak everything.
The child may accept the restrictions, as they are imposed by those whom he loves so much. He wants to please his parents with something, wants to be in harmony with them, wants to be like them. Parents are connected with the child, with understanding relate to the internal struggle of the child, and give him time. They are patient and at any time ready to encourage their son or daughter in their desire to behave appropriately.
At first, the child does what they are told only because he is reminded of it. After a little time, many patterns of behavior are adopted and become natural for the child, which forms the basis of behavior in society outside the family.
We also read: Why the child does not accept any of the relatives and only communicates with mom
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