When men are offered joint birth with their wife, many refuse, for fear that they will not withstand this procedure. Three happy fathers decided to support their spouse at the most crucial moment and told how they survived a partner birth.
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Cyril, 35 years old, participated in joint labor twice, he took his second child
“The ambulance arrived 20 minutes after the birth”
I believe that at the time a child is born, it is very important that there is a loved one with the woman in labor, on whom she can rely and who is worried about her and seeks to help.
At the time of the birth of our first child, I was next to my wife, massaged her lower back to reduce pain, helped her relax, asked doctors questions, and at times I just sat beside him and watched. When she was given pain medication, she was able to rest for a while. I could observe the birth process and was always there. In general, everything was calm.
The second birth was swift - even at home, before the doctors arrived, attempts began. I was scared, I was afraid that I would do something wrong, because I do not have medical knowledge. At one point, I even tried to remember how a direct cardiac massage is done.
I “commanded” how and when to push, I submitted clean sheets. To calm down, he mentally told himself that women had given birth for centuries at home and even in the field, that childbirth is a natural process. Fortunately, everything ended well with us, a healthy daughter was born. Doctors arrived 20 minutes after the baby was born.
During both births I was unpleasantly surprised by the incorrect behavior of the medical staff. When I was in the delivery room for the first time, they told me: "Turn away, otherwise you will lose consciousness." Perhaps the doctors had to see the swoon of the young fathers, but I consider this remark inappropriate. During the second birth, the obstetricians accused me of putting a bruise on my arm. In fact, it was a birthmark.
Igor, 32 years old, took part in the birth of his wife twice
“I did not think that I would have to participate in saving lives”
The first time I took the initiative - I did not want to leave my own person at such a serious moment. Before the second birth, I did not even doubt whether I should be present or not. I believe that during the birth of the baby, in addition to the medical person, there should be someone near the woman in labor who will provide support. The most difficult thing for me was to maintain endurance and remove unnecessary emotions. A man in the process of giving birth to a wife should be calm and confident.
The fact that the birth process is impossible to control is very annoying, their outcome is completely unpredictable. We have an extreme situation where the child could not go through the pelvic bones due to the large size of the head. We could lose our son, because for some time he could not breathe. I used to think that the task of a man in childbirth is to hold his wife by the hand, say encouraging words and do a relaxing massage. I did not think that I would have to participate in saving lives.
Whether the baby will be born alive depended on our decisive actions, enormous physical stress was required from the spouse. Fortunately, everything worked out well, the wife and son are alive and well.
It’s hard for me to describe how I felt when I first saw my newborn son. This joy, this happiness cannot be described in words.
Ivan, 38 years old, participated in childbirth once
“The hardest thing is to wait”
I always thought that being present at childbirth was not a man's business. But then I thought how hard it would be for my wife to be without a loved one and decided to support her.
The hardest time for me was a long wait. Before you go to the hospital, we wrote in social networks: "We went to give birth." Friends sent us messages on social networks, encouraged, asked how are you. And we just waited.
I was very scared when my wife was given epidural anesthesia. An injection into the spine looks very creepy. I really wanted to shout to the doctors: what you are doing is not necessary.
When my son was born, they gave me a cord to cut. Then I held him in my arms, his eyes were open. I carried my son to the children's department, thinking: here he is, a child whose appearance I have been waiting for so long.
When asked what I saw during childbirth, I reply that I saw a miracle. I witnessed the birth of a man.
We also read:
- Partnership with her husband: the pros and cons of joint birth, what is important for dad to know
- My birth went perfectly thanks to my husband
- Demyan Popov: partnership delivery in detail, pros and cons
Video: Real partner birth with a husband. Husband's recall
Testimonials from fathers about partner births (taken from forums)
- Advice from dad giving birth with his wife - The impressions are very different, the most difficult is to watch when the beloved person has a fight, and when the process itself is already underway - it’s easier, it seems that the light is already visible at the end of the tunnel 🙂 In principle, the wife said that I really helped her. For example, I don’t remember how I went home after childbirth. So you decide ... Personally, I would advise 3-wait to think about the decision to give birth together.
- They dissuaded me, they said that they say you won’t see anything good there, and psychological problems may arise. I did not agree with all the counselors and was present at the birth, helped, which I do not regret at all. There is nothing terrible, dirty, and the like. Everything is quite natural and normal. There are no psychological problems at all. His wife even became better treated. So, if you really want to, then why not.
- Impressions are strong. But we did not give birth in a maternity hospital, but at home with a midwife, so my participation was necessary and very active. 🙂 He worked as a honey brother, husband, support in every sense, a massager, a stool, a hanger (for his wife, not for clothes) ... He worked hard in full, but we all (especially the wife) got a lot from that. 🙂 And attend ... If you don’t know what to do and how to help, stand helpless and watch what the doctors are doing? IMHO nafig-nafig, it’s better to do something useful at home. Here it is necessary to raise the question differently - if the wife needs it, and you are ready to support her, and all the more you know how and by something, of course yes ...
Thanks to the doctor who took delivery from me for asking my husband to leave at the most “interesting” moment, because I was already unable to do this. But in general, the support of the husband during childbirth is very important and invaluable, even if he is just nearby, talking to you and is at hand, so to speak.
I have three children. And never a thought arose that the husband was present at childbirth. Even if he wanted to, I would not allow it. The appointment of a man is still different. This whole procedure can affect his attraction to his wife, because the sight is far from romantic. I believe that this is a mistake of young families - joint birth.
I believe that joint birth is a personal matter for each couple. The husband must be sure that he will endure EVERYTHING that his wife and other participants in the process will do and say during childbirth, maintaining calm and self-control and really helping, rather than exacerbating the already tense situation. A woman can not guarantee anything, since each organism experiences pain and emotional stress in different ways.