Why do some people refuse to have children in the 21st century?

People meet, get married, then they have a child. This is how the majority lives, and any deviation from this scheme causes public censure. After all, it is believed that a normal and healthy person once has a desire to become a parent. It is customary in society that children should appear in a family, otherwise it will be inferior and unhappy. Is this the truth of life or a stereotype that is firmly embedded in people's heads?

Let's first understand why people have children at all. There are several reasons:

• Tradition - a man must plant a tree, build a house and give birth to a son so that he becomes a successor to the clan;
• The desire to leave behind someone who will remember you after your death;
• A sense of ownership - it applies not only to things, but also to people. A person wants to have “his own,” such a near and dear person;
• Vestiges of the past. They used to think this way: the more children, the more chores they will perform. As a result, family affluence will increase;
• The need for a person who, in old age, will take care of you and bring that very glass of water;
• Search for the meaning of life. Often such a meaning for a person becomes his child.

These are good reasons to have children, but some people still go against public opinion.

What arguments do people give in favor of abandoning children?

Childless people are often asked why they still do not have a child. Here is what they usually answer such questions:

1. The earth is overpopulated - We are already 7 billion. There are predictions that with further population growth there will not be enough food for everyone. Some are frightened by such prospects;
2. It's a crazy world. Why give life to a person if there is instability, injustice, cruelty around?
3. Children are very, very expensive.. There are people who continue to live at their parents' expense at both 30 and 40 years old. Of course, this prospect is scary, because you want to spend money on yourself;
4. Man has already found the meaning of life. Someone simply lives in harmony with themselves and with the world, enjoys life, and children do not enter into these plans;
5. It is scary to take responsibility;
6. Afraid of being a bad parent and ruin the life of your child.

“I did not want children and thought that it would always be so. It turned out that I married a woman with a child and accepted him as mine. Then we had a daughter, I love her very much too. I love both children, I am ready to die for them. So, perhaps, people who do not want to have children simply don’t imagine what happiness it is to be a parent. ”

“I do not have and never will have children. I have no problems with money, everything is fine in my personal life. It’s just my personal choice. I used to admit that in about 30 years I will change my mind, but this did not happen. "

“I think that some give birth to children, because everyone does it that way, it’s the custom in society. I live not for society, but for myself. ”

4 main reasons not to want children

1. The man has already played enough in the "mother-daughter". Perhaps he was the oldest child in the family and nursed his younger brothers and sisters while his parents were busy with work. Having matured, a person just wanted to live for himself.
2. There is some kind of hereditary disease in the family. In this case, the person is afraid that the child will also be born sick and will suffer all his life through his fault.
3. I do not want to change my lifestyle. When a child appears, you have to adapt to it, sacrifice your entertainment. Not everyone is ready for this.
4. Man has other life priorities.. Someone seeks to make a career, someone travels the world and does not want to settle in one place. The child does not fit into such plans.

I cannot handle this responsibility

Parents must constantly monitor that the child is healthy, well-fed, dressed and shod, so that he does not get hurt, doesn’t mess up, doesn’t get into trouble. The most difficult thing is to fall asleep and wake up with thoughts on how to make a baby happy.

Kids will steal my time

The child constantly requires attention, so parents have little time for hobbies and entertainment, it is more difficult for them to build their career. Women are afraid that after completing maternity leave it will be difficult to catch up and regain their authority at work. You can hire a nanny, but her services are not free. And why bother giving life to a child if there is no opportunity to personally engage in his upbringing. If you do not work, then there will be time for both the baby and himself. Only not everyone can afford to be a housewife.

I do not want to have children, because they will take the lion's share of my time. I will either have to steal time for them from work and their favorite hobby, or hire a nanny for them.

For the latter, I do not yet have the financial ability. In addition, I do not want to have children if I can not spend enough time with them.

Maybe if I had the opportunity to give up work, then I would have thought about giving birth to a child. But such an opportunity I do not have and is not expected.

I cannot become a good parent

All people are different. Some with fanaticism train in the gym. This is not to the liking of others, but singing in karaoke is fun and interesting. Why do the same things seem attractive to some, and boring to some? The comparison may seem wild, but it reflects the position of people who do not want to have children: everyone likes and dislikes something. Some people have confidence that they can adequately raise their children. It seems to others that they do not have enough strength for this.

I like to be free

Men are simply not ready to sacrifice their freedom. After all, after the birth of a child, it will no longer be possible to often sit up in bars with friends, spontaneously go on a trip, or sit for a long time without work, looking for the best option.

I am 36 years old, I have no children. Recently, we went with friends to rest, all friends have families, almost all have children.

Watching my friends, I noticed that they love their children very much, even though they take the lion's share of their time.

I have nothing against children, but I don’t want to start my own. Perhaps I am afraid of the responsibility that the birth of a child will certainly entail.

World has gone mad

I have a child whom I love immeasurably. But I perfectly understand people who do not want to have children, in no case do not blame them. It’s better to honestly admit that you don’t want to have children than to give birth to a child and do not give a damn about him.

Take a look around. Many people give birth to children simply because it is customary. Others want in this way to save a marriage that has cracked. In other people, a child is just a consequence of unprotected intercourse. The world is going to hell.

I do not want to doom the child to poverty

People who grew up in poor families are afraid that the same thing will happen to their children.Therefore, they strive to stand firmly on their feet, acquire their own housing, earn enough money so as not to deny themselves anything. The process of gaining financial well-being can drag on to the end of life.

I grew up in poverty, lacking everything. And then I promised myself that if I did not get out of this pit, I would never start having children. I still have not got out of the pit.

I can be a happy person without my children

Sometimes women do not have children because of poor health - for example, learning that they have a risk of miscarriage. Losing a baby is really scary. Some women take risks, others abandon the idea of ​​motherhood and decide to seek happiness not in motherhood, but in other things.

My mother had two miscarriages, having seen enough of her torment, I never wanted to experience anything like this. I have poor health, so when I learned at the age of 14 that I also have a risk of miscarriage, I forever abandoned the idea of ​​being a mother.

Now I am 30 years old, I have nephews and nieces whom I simply adore. I may not have my children, but I can call myself a happy person.

We also read:

• 5 reasons why men and women delay the appearance of children
• Mom's story: I do not want more children