Some indulge a child with modern gadgets for a lot of money. The latter makes the kid deserve a present by housework, study, good behavior. Below, the psychologist answered several key questions regarding the right choice of gifts for children for the New Year.
1. The child behaved badly: is it worth giving gifts?
Winter holidays are associated with miracles and hope. And a sense of contact with something higher and infinitely wonderfully generously good. And receiving his own gift, the child receives a sensation. Love does not need to be earned. In my opinion, parental manipulations are not correct - here you will behave badly, you will not receive a gift. “Good boys and girls,” when they grow up, they continue to deserve and gain favor. The threat of punishment, the expectation of punishment is experienced harder than the punishment itself. Any violence, mention of the rod and belt - this is violence, which is unacceptable even for the highest educational purposes.
2. Clothing instead of toys: the biggest mistake
Internet advertising, films, cartoons all year promise the kid that he will receive something bright and cool for the holiday. Let us understand that clothes should not be presented as a gift at all, except perhaps as an additional one. This is always disappointment and resentment, causing distrust.
Toddlers don’t need pants as a gift - up to 8-10 years old children rarely think about fashion, although now the trend is changing, as designer clothes have become a matter of pride. But here it is important to observe the needs of the child. If a person forcibly seats a son or daughter in front of a computer and starts saying: “Look at what kind of dress, you want this, right?”, Then he does not fulfill his desire, but imposes it. At the age of 13 years, sometimes older, boys and girls, contrary to their own desires, agree with the authority of their parents, which spoils their mood.
3. Arouse the desire to receive gifts
The secret of happiness lies not so much in the subject itself as in anticipation of a miracle. Therefore, smart parents begin to tell in advance that Santa Claus will put something interesting under the Christmas tree.The child is enthusiastically guessing, he is fascinated by the miracle itself, which is not a sin to spice up with details about how Santa Claus will arrive on deer, climb into a pipe or even appear in an unusual way like moving around the portal or using magic.
4. What should I do if a child asks for something unrealistic for a purchase? For example, live horse
- You can offer to think with the child - “Santa Claus cares not only about the child himself, but also about the horse and its neighbors. And he chooses what would still be appropriate for everyone. ”
READ ALSO: What to do if a child asks for something unreal for the New Year
5. Who should choose a gift for the New Year, a child or an adult?
It’s better to ask the children. The easiest way is to write a good old letter to Santa Claus. From it we learn about the order.
6. How many gifts to give a child for the New Year?
It’s good if there are funds for several presentations, but you don’t need to give the baby too much choice. In the same letter to Santa Claus, ask for 1-2 things, so as not to confuse the child with an abundance of choice. An excellent combination is 2 items chosen by the baby + 1 or 2 surprises from the parents. There was a case when a child said: “We have little money, but Grandfather Frost is rich, I will ask him something huge”, in this case it would be right to write a letter on behalf of Santa Claus containing the following text:
"I read your wish, but I have a lot of children on the planet who are also waiting for gifts, so you can choose one thing."
I know stories in which children suggested that parents ask Santa Claus, for example, a house. Parents answered great:
“You know, for every great gift you need to be prepared. And to prepare some gifts you need time and our own efforts. "We can’t always keep order in our apartment, but we need even more strength for the house."
7. What to give if there are a lot of toys?
There is no such thing for a child. The update is important, not the number of items being stored. Therefore, any psychologist will say that not only the high cost of the presentations is significant, but their quantity. It is better to give 5 small items per month than 1 large. For the New Year there is an excellent reception - the separation of days or segments of the day.
You can create a multiple wave of emotions if you tell your child that he will receive the first gift in the morning under the tree, the second for lunch, and in the evening something special will await him. It is important here that the most anticipated subject should be provided first - children do not have much patience and are easily upset. The structure of the holiday is this - the main object of desire, something interesting and different (sweets with a postcard, a comic book magazine, a book), a bonus (another toy is better if there was a machine, now it’s a gun, if it’s a doll, now it’s a designer). There should be no sense of uniformity.
8. The child was told that Santa Claus does not exist and he is not real: what to do?
- Option 1: "Santa Claus is a fabulous character, he can exist on holidays, but in others he is not in the world";
- Option 2: “Santa Claus is Saint Nicholas (this is true), he lives in heaven and tells parents of good children what gifts to give;
- Option 3: "Santa Claus is only one real, he does not have time to meet everyone, but because he has assistants who dress up in him."
Most psychologists are inclined to believe that the truth is not necessary. Childhood is the time of fairy tales. It is not worth taking it, but if the child directly says that he does not believe, then say: “We create a fabulous atmosphere so that it is fun. This is a tradition".
Once my son taught me an important lesson. I prepared for him, an 8-year-old, as a gift a cup with the logo from his then-favorite series about the inventors of Eureka. He saw in my computer a logo prepared for printing. When he found a cup under the pillow for St. Nicholas Day, he looked at me intently and asked, "is it you or St. Nicholas?" I realized that if I answered a lie, I would lose his confidence. I was silent, gathering my thoughts. But Mishka suddenly says - “was it St. Nicholas who inspired you?” “Yes,” I said joyfully. I spoke and tell my children that I love miracles and believe in them.And often something or someone higher and lighter helps us to become agents of miracles and joy in the world. We can become agents of kindness, beauty and sincerity. And I propose to become such guides for friends and strangers.
That's all. Now let's get ready for happy moments. Holiday greetings!
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My children are still small, so they still don’t write letters to Santa Claus) I always select gifts according to my interests. The elder loves to draw, so he will definitely like the creativity kit. And the youngest loves all kinds of transport and new cars will not be superfluous. Children must be given what is really interesting to them.
I remember how my parents gave me dresses or shoes for the New Year, and once they gave me expensive earrings (I was 8 years old). It's just awful, like the September 1 training camp is a complete disappointment.
Now choosing a gift for my son, I try to remember all the things that he told me about over the past month. As a rule, 5-6 ideas for a gift in different price categories arise immediately.
Our daughter has been asking a Santa Claus for a second year, but we can’t get her (we have a small apartment, and then I’m not ready to take on such responsibility, and I don’t want to). I don’t know how to answer her this letter. She is determined. What do you think, can ask volunteers from an animal shelter to show how difficult it is to take care of dogs? And if he shows himself responsibly, then give in?
I always ask directly what my kids would like to receive from Santa Claus. Of course, immediately a bunch of different options are issued, here I look myself, if possible. For the New Year itself, the most valuable and great gifts are placed under the Christmas tree, and then (until the very old New Year), every night I put chocolates under the Christmas tree, or some other goodies. Children are delighted, in the morning they immediately run to the Christmas tree to see what new Santa Claus brought there).