“Is it possible to talk with mom like that, boy?”, “And who is that screaming like that?” - favorite remarks of strangers towards your child. Some passers-by are very fond of making comments to strange children. In this case, how to behave the parent?
First you need to prioritize
The easiest way to shake your head reproachfully, agreeing with a stranger, or to reproach your child for a perfect misconduct, can even be insignificant. Most often, parents do so. They cussed reproachfully and forget in a few minutes about this situation. But the children remember this. It seems to you that the child doesn’t care, but look at the situation from the side - you, in fact, go over to the side of the offenders, strangers and strangers, and scold your native child with them! Is this not a betrayal?
Imagine the situation: in a hurry, the young wife paints her eyes and as a result the arrows turned out to be crooked. She and her husband go into the elevator and a neighbor begins to comment: “Have you seen how your wife let the arrows down? Does she look in the mirror or what? ” And the husband, instead of taking the side of his half, will answer: “Yes, she’s unlucky with us, she always brings her eyes down!”
Is it really a ridiculous and funny situation? And with a child, adults do just that. Before you react immediately to the provocation of a casual passerby about your baby, think about who is more valuable to you - some kind of aunt or your child?
To blame or not to blame?
If strangers give you advice or make comments on the case, you should understand when to listen to their comments, and when to let go by your ears. After all, people are sometimes outraged for a very significant reason and sometimes in the case. The reasons are the most typical - “Your child throws sand”, “He throws stones at my child” or something else that you did not notice yourself and that:
- poses a threat to the health of your child;
- poses a threat to the health of others.
Assess the situation soberly and understand who is to blame. Maybe it's a child, maybe it's your fault that you overlooked, or maybe an absurd misunderstanding. Be that as it may, even if your child and naughty, you do not need to immediately report it to strangers. Do not humiliate your own child! Say thanks to the “adviser”, step aside with the child and talk in private without threats, slaps and screams. After all, your cries will not change anything, you will only be ashamed in front of people for the arranged presentation.
If you are very angry, it is best to take your child away from the playground and talk to him at home. On the way home, you will surely cool off and take things more sensibly.
We also read:How to teach a child to talk with strangers on the street
Not to blame
And if the child is not at all at work? Maybe for you and your child, some behaviors are completely normal - so what? Swear? Public scandal (conflicts on the playground: how not to bring to a fight)? This is highly discouraged, because the child is looking at you. You are an authority for him, and he learns from you, absorbs everything that you do and will repeat your behavior through life. Teach your child to be polite, but to have his own point of view and protect it. You can thank the passerby for his advice and add your “but.” “Thanks for the advice, but I’ll deal with my child myself”, “Thank you, but we don’t need to worry about us, we will sort it out.”
Even if such answers do not satisfy the same neighbor or passerby, it does not matter. It is important for you not to destroy the trust and that bond between you and your children. Since for all children - you, as a parent - are a support, protection, authority and best friend - who understands everything, protects and does not give offense.
We also read:
- How to correctly and tactfully make a remark to a stranger’s child
- 7 stupid tips to a young mother from strangers
It annoys me somehow when some kind of grandmother teaches my son. After all, they already have an outdated vision of the modern world and their advice will not only help, but they can even do much harm. Therefore, we keep our distance from such teachers.
I react very sharply to any comments of strangers towards my child and me as a mother. I believe that in this way people show their bad manners and illiteracy, of course, if we don’t talk about extreme cases, for example, if a neighbor boy sticks a cat with a stick and I can’t keep silent and will make a remark to him and his mother. After all, this is already the case when you need to intervene and make it clear to the child so that he stops doing this. I try to cultivate in my son a love for the world around us, people, animals, the ability to behave in public, to be polite, kind, but also to be able to stand up for myself. I let him know that I am always on his side, because the child has no one more than his mother! And you can always find a worthy answer to unnecessary comments and moralizing!
If dad or mother did not notice something while walking with the child, some of his actions or even misconduct, then you can check with the person who made the remark about the details of what happened. You should not think that your child is not capable of certain actions, because if the child is still small, then EVERYTHING is new for him and the reaction to some circumstances incomprehensible to him and previously unknown may be a surprise for the parent. If the “witness” behavior is too aggressive, do not give a descent, politely and categorically put it in place, try out information again, maybe even someone else.That is, you need to act calmly to the last, but headlong rushing at your own son or daughter is not worth it.