How to correctly and tactfully make a remark to a stranger’s child

Let's analyze if we have the right to make comments to strangers' children? If - yes, then how to do it right, that you can and cannot tell someone else's child. In what situations is the intervention of an outside adult just necessary and how to behave with parents who do not want to respond to your comments? We single out the basic rules of behavior and communication with children.

It is sad that modern kids know less about politeness than children of previous generations. Often people are indignant and even get lost from uncultured and ignorant acts or sayings of other people's children in public places. But what can be done in a situation where one wants to express a comment? And is it possible to do this in relation to strange children, and most importantly - how to do it tactfully and politely?

Are we entitled to make comments to strangers

In the past year (in 2017), a video went on the Internet for quite a long time: in a line at the checkout, a child was pushing a man with a grocery cart, while the mother of the child did not show any reaction. After the man’s patience was over, he took a packet of milk and poured its contents on a small bully. This behavior of a man divided the users of the network into two oppositions. One opposition stood by the mountain for the child, which in any case should be protected by mother, the other supported the man, they say, such children and their mothers should be put in place.

But who is right in this situation and how should a person behave?

In fact, to intervene or not to intervene is up to everyone to decide on their own due to good manners. Here you need to realize that teaching other people's children is not your concern, this should be done by their parents. Therefore, any complaints can be presented exclusively to parents. But still, there are times when an intervention should occur:

• If the child’s parents are not nearby, and the situation requires an immediate response from adults;
• If parents just don't want to get involved, for example, considering that it is impossible and not necessary for a child to be brought up until the age of five. At this time, the situation requires resolution;
• When a child’s behavior can cause financial harm to other people. For example, you are a store employee, the mother of the child went to another department for groceries, and at this time her child runs around with expensive goods;
• When a child’s behavior can cause physical harm to your child, you or other people. Yes, that happens. For example, there are often cases in which the mother of an outside child speaks enthusiastically on the phone or with friends and does not notice at all how her child begins to beat, push yours.As a result, your child may be injured, and there is no need to expect anything at all, since the price of expectation is the health of your child;
• When someone else’s child violates the comfort and convenience of others. For example, in a bus, with your shoes, it kicks your bag, deliberately crunches loudly with chips next to you in the cinema, knocks on your seat with your feet.

But it is necessary to distinguish between cases in which children can behave intentionally indecently or in accordance with age-specific features. For example, if a child runs around the hall of the hospital (the premises of a bank, a store, etc.), then this is his completely natural behavior, because all children are active and cheerful, and it is natural for them to run and have fun ...

A completely different situation is when the child is behaving badly, while the parents do not pay any attention to it. It is the latter that can lead to a sense of permissiveness and other consequences.

What conclusion can be made? The boundaries of behavior should be in every child! These boundaries, which imply the observance of social rules, can make us polite, kind and humane.

In addition, we should not forget that moral laws exist, therefore, if children violate them, then there must be a punishment, or at least censure. Although, here it is up to the parents.

How to make a note to the child

Consider the 7 main rules for interacting with children, what comments can be made, how to make them, what can be expressed and done in relation to a stranger’s child, and what is strictly forbidden.

If the situation has reached the extreme point of your patience and you want to express dissatisfaction, observe the following rules:

1. Always analyze. If the situation does not require immediate resolution, you probably do not need to intervene? Try to put yourself in the place of his parents and find out: is the child’s actions really so boorish, or maybe it's his age-related behavior?
2. Direct all your discontent to the parents of the child. Make comments to the child when the parents do not respond to your complaints, and you do not see other ways to stop the situation.
3. Conduct a conversation with the child in a polite tone. Avoid aggression, assault, screaming and insulting. There are, again, cases where someone else's child with obvious aggression attacks your child, but these are exceptional situations. Often, a normal conversation is enough.
4. Your censure and conversation did not lead to the proper result, while the parents do not respond - immediately step aside and do not create a conflict situation. Your mission is over, let it remain on the conscience of his parents, and besides, they will reap the benefits of such behavior.
5. Do not evaluate the behavior of other people's children. No need to explain to them that they are behaving badly. It is important to stop the very fact of disgusting behavior, to express your rejection.
6. Try to explain to a stranger the child his wrong behavior as his own. It is necessary to imagine that you are teaching your child, because he hears and understands you precisely because you are doing it as accurately and clearly as possible, with notes of love.
7. Try to stay within the limits. Of course, the position of parents who do not respond to the abominable behavior of their children (sometimes statements like “do not meddle in someone else’s business”, “he is still small - will grow up will understand”), often annoying, causes a sense of injustice. But your task is to remain a tactful person, to set an example for your children.

[sc name = ”rsa”]

Remember: the most effective method of dealing with rude people is to be a great example of polite behavior, no matter what!

How to behave with the parents of someone else's child who does not respond to comments

As usually happens, parents "bayonet" perceive the censure of their children by strangers. And sometimes it happens - the remarks come unfairly, it’s just that person’s character that annoys being around someone else’s child.

But often the comments from strangers are fair and need immediate reaction to the parents of the child.The main thing is to make these comments correctly so that your parents do not have a desire to cheat on you simply out of principle. How exactly to make comments?

Examples of how to make a correct remark to parents:

• Our kids are not able to share the slide (swing), let's help them organize the order.
• There will be a quarrel between the children now, look, is your child among them?
• In this situation, we can not cope without you!
• Your intervention is very necessary!
• Could you, during the trip, hold the legs of your baby?

Etc…

We also read: How to share toys without quarrels or 6 conflict situations in the playground

As you can see, your effective weapon in the fight against ill-bred children and their parents is tact and courtesy. Therefore, in cases where the parents heard and understood your comments, stopped the bad behavior of the child in time, then your further teachings and comments are not needed. By the way, even if they did not hear you and did not accept your complaints at their own expense, then you should not continue to make comments, this does not make sense, a conflict could clearly be brewing.

If the parents of the tomboy rudely sent you to “catch butterflies”, “kick the bamboo”, etc., again - there is no need for further comments and comments, because there is no point - just go away, your nerves will be more whole.

We also read:

• How to respond to the remark to your child from an outsider?
• 7 stupid tips to a young mother from strangers

How to make a child comments