On television, they often show reality shows in which conflicts are regularly tied between participants. The audience discusses them, wondering how you can constantly swear and scream. They do not notice that this is becoming the norm in their own families. Adults and children quarrel with each other over trifles, brothers and sisters are at enmity, although they must live peacefully. Instead of washing the bones to people on the other side of the screen, parents should take the TV show as an example of how things shouldn't be. It is important for children to learn to listen to others and sort things out calmly. Otherwise, they will grow up and can no longer do without screams.
Tip number 1: Show how to resolve conflicts with your own example
Every the child repeats the behavior of adults with whom he developed a close relationship. If he sees a quarrel between mom and dad, grandparents, for him this becomes normal. He begins exactly the same to sort things out with his brothers and sisters, friends in kindergarten, at school. Subsequently, the same model of behavior applies to work colleagues and "second halves."
So that children do not quarrel, adults need to begin to control the situation and show how to behave, by example. Having a problem? Discuss it, try to find a compromise. Is there a quarrel? Explain that you were offended, that you were hurt by the living. Such conflict resolution methods are suitable for children, so they should be aware of this.
Tip number 2: Help the kids become independent
If adults see children starting to quarrel, many of them tend to immediately intervene. Parents sharply suppress the conflict and insist on their decision, not allowing the children to respond. Other mothers and fathers prefer to let the situation go by chance. Still others run to figure out who is to blame. Child psychologists believe that all these approaches are fundamentally wrong.
In order for children to grow up as non-conflict and balanced people, from an early age they must learn to cope with controversial situations on their own, without screaming and making fists. Any mother wants to immediately stop the children's quarrel and it can be difficult to restrain this impulse. Of course, she is an adult and can offer a practical solution. However, if the mother will constantly intervene in the conflicts of children, they will always wait in the future for her help.
The best solution is to step back and just wait. Children will still resort to their mother complaining about each other. Only this will be their personal initiative.
According to experts, in children's quarrels, the role of a trainer is assigned to an adult. It is located outside the ring, but from there it offers reasonable solutions, gives advice, helps to realize the possible consequences of the conflict.
Tip number 3: Calm down first, then sort it out
A rare family manages to avoid domestic conflicts. Even an adult who knows how to control his reactions can be taken out of himself by a mere trifle - an unclosed tube of toothpaste, an unwashed mug. Children will continue to compete for parental attention, for the opportunity to play with some kind of toy.
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It is necessary to understand and accept that the domestic showdown was, is and will be. The best thing you can do during quarrels with loved ones is to prevent irritation from gaining the upper hand over your mind. If you feel that you can break away, step aside, count to 10. Usually this is enough to calm down. After that, you can continue an adequate and constructive conversation. Toddlers will see that adults are making efforts not to offend each other, and will follow suit.
You can organize a “corner of calm” at home where children and adults will go to cope with a flash of anger. This will help you to create a calm and friendly atmosphere at home, in which children should grow up.
We also read:What should I do if I constantly scream at my child?
Tip # 4: Take Care of Children's Feelings
Each child has its own fears, feelings, reactions to certain things and events. To adults, they may seem insignificant, but kids see the world in a completely different way, and this must be taken into account. Children have the right to express their emotions, demonstrate disagreement. Are they right or wrong - this is another question that needs to be understood.
Parents should pay attention to the feelings of children, teach kids to call them correctly. For this, a role-playing game is suitable. Invite the child to introduce himself as a fabulous hero who has been deceived, and to tell about his experiences. So baby learn to empathize with other people. If the child understands that, taking away toys from brothers or sisters, he offends them, the quarrels will become less.
A teenager who develops subtle social skills from an early age adapts more easily to life in society. At the same time, he gains confidence in himself, as he learns to solve difficult situations without outside help.
Tip # 5: Teach your children to quarrel and put up honestly
In the company of parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents, small children usually do not stand on ceremony. They express all their grievances and discontent sharply: they shout, demand, stomp their feet. During a quarrel or violent expression of emotions, ask the child how he would behave with friends or a kindergarten teacher. Probably with them the baby would be more restrained. Talk with the crumbs gently, keeping calm. If you start to lose your temper and raise your voice, it will be difficult for a child to understand what they want from him.
Adults should not ignore even minor conflicts. After all, subsequently it will be very difficult to get rid of children's insults. If someone close inadvertently injured the baby, just apologize to him. An adult should be the first to admit that he has lost self-control, said something is wrong, and also to explain what words needed to be chosen. This will help the little person understand how to avoid a quarrel.
What if the children quarrel?
We also read: 10 games to overcome child aggression
Constant quarrels between children will not make the atmosphere at home pleasant. What should parents do if they notice that the children do not get along with each other? Where are the causes of this phenomenon? How to resolve conflicts between children?
From my own experience I will say that if every child has his own room, then scandals are extremely rare. At an early age, most quarrels over some kind of thing or toy. At an older age, everyone has their own interests, and children should not interfere with each other while being too long together.
I know how difficult it is from my own experience. We often argue with my husband. Well, children (a boy and a girl), seeing this, are used to the fact that raising their voices is the norm for resolving conflicts. Now we are trying to correct ourselves and decide everything by compromise, I hope peace will be established in our house soon.
From my own experience I’ll say that the number of rooms doesn’t add much success and a personal example, too, but the ability to taxi out - that's how they write here. Thanks to the author. We will grow.