How to get to work from maternity leave painlessly for a child

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Many young mothers are forced to go to work after the decree when the child is three years old or even much earlier. It is difficult to understand, because of which in this case you have to worry more: due to the fact that during the decree the brain was completely reorganized into children's cartoons and songs, or due to the fact that it is difficult to leave the baby even for several hours. How to get out of maternity leave without causing moral harm to the child?

How to prepare a child correctly and gently

Often, mothers acutely perceive the need to leave the baby without their care, worry about the psychological balance of the crumbs. A few useful tips will help you gradually prepare your child and prepare yourself:

A few months before the end of maternity leave, start leaving your child with someone - a nanny, grandmother, girlfriend, send them for a walk. Thus, the child will realize that the mother may not be near, but she always comes back;
It will be right to start going to kindergarten three to four months before going to work. Get used to it should also be gradual. Adaptation will pass favorablyif you first walk in the mornings for 2 hours, then for half a day and only after that stay for the whole day;
If you can’t get to the kindergarten at the right time, then you should think ahead of time with whom the baby will be, arrange with your grandmother or the nanny. Addiction to the nanny should be gradual, in your presence. First, the child will see that you trust this person, which means that he can also trust. And secondly, you will have time to “test” the nanny and understand in time whether it is suitable for your child;
It is not recommended to leave home secretly, even if you think that it’s easier for a child to survive the separation. Yes, this way, when someone distracts the baby, and the mother quietly slips out the door, avoids tears at parting, but does not solve the problem. It’s better to say goodbye to the child, each time to remind you that you love him very much and will definitely return.

Is it worth promising a baby a present for good behavior without a mother - a question that is decided separately in each family. But, nevertheless, it is worth thinking carefully: your absence is vital, and this is not for one year. Do not forget that the promotion of daily household chores can lead to problems in the future. A child who is accustomed to waiting for his mother, brushing his teeth, tidying up toys, etc. for some kind of “fee” may in the future refuse to do anything just like that, without bonuses.

We also read: how to encourage a child

How to prepare yourself for a new life

First of all, stop reproaching yourself for going to work and leaving the crumb without care. Get rid of guilt. A child is a separate person. And in any case, you will have to “tear” it from yourself anyway. It is fundamentally wrong to blame yourself for striving to ensure a prosperous life for your family. It is better not to be tormented by children's tears when you go to work, but to plan a joint weekend, find time for the baby in the evenings, read bedtime stories to him;
If possible, try to go to work part-time during the first weeks after the decree. So the baby can gradually get used to the fact that you go to work;
Sometimes a profession allows you to perform work duties at home. And this becomes a great way out of the situation. But do not think that it is easy to combine child care and work at home. The kid will be capricious, demand attention, and you will rush from the child to work and be fatally tired. In addition, there will remain household chores, which you will also complete in full. Yes, and relatives usually think that if mom works at home, she will manage to do everything and do everything herself (“You still work at home anyway, and you’ll always have time to get out / wash”) In each family, of course, it is different, so it is good if other family members take at least part of the household chores;
Having decided to work at home, try to find an assistant who will deal with the baby - to walk, play, drive to classes.

How to combine everyday issues with a work schedule

Being a mother is a round-the-clock “work”, without rest and breaks. And then professional duties are added. After maternity leave, many mothers have a hard time keeping up everywhere and in everything. It is necessary to think over in advance the distribution of household tasks with relatives in order to preserve their own nerves.

Ideally, if at least one of the grandmothers lives nearby and is ready to help with her grandson, or come to cook food once every few days - this is already a tangible unloading. If the husband can also vacuum the apartment and periodically wash the dishes, the help of his relatives will be priceless. Before going to work, you need to gather family members and calmly explain to them that you are very tired, while the baby is so small and requires a lot of attention;
Before you start visiting the kindergarten, begin to accustom the child to the new regime of the day. Find out in the garden what time children eat, sleep. Thus, subsequently, children's tears and moods in the morning will not force you to be late;
If the financial side allows, then find yourself an assistant. Let there be a person who can clean up at least once a month. And you will have free time for the family;
Make it a tradition to organize a family event, a joint walk, going to the cinema, etc. every one or two weeks. It is important for the baby and other family members to see your presence.

Treat the exit from maternity leave as a necessary stage of life. Many people go through this. Therefore, above your head, no sense of guilt - you do not throw your own blood, but rather take care of development and a prosperous life.

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Elena Kalnaya-Danilyuk - mother of three children, psychologist, trainer, psychotherapist, specialist in family and child psychology. To work after decree: how to manage everything and be a good mom