The main fears of a young mother

Behind a long period of pregnancy and childbirth. Your baby is lying next to you, and you can not get rid of excitement and anxiety. After all, you have to swaddle, feed, care for the baby. Can you do everything right?

The first fears of a young mother

I remember myself when I became a mother for the first time, and a nurse opened a diaper with a newborn daughter. I looked at the little red - yellow body of the baby and just got scared. There was only one thought in my head: “How will I pick it up?” Handles and legs are like matches! And if I drop her? ” But a newborn baby is much stronger than it seems. It took me a couple of times to swaddle, change the diaper, bathe the baby - and fear of not coping with a child went by itself. A few days later, with a smile, I recalled my fear and fear of the baby.

Fear of dropping a baby often tormenting a young woman. Of course, it happens that a child left unattended falls. Therefore, do not leave the baby lying on the changing table or the parent's bed for one minute. I will especially say about pets. Do not leave the infant alone in the room where the animals are. It’s hard to say how they will behave. I once had a cat snuck into a child’s room and almost went to bed directly on the baby’s head.

Don't be afraid it's not dangerous

Many mothers who first swaddle a baby frightening appearance of a newborn: yellowish skin color, small white pimples on the face, thick black hairs growing on its back. Calm down, all these manifestations are not dangerous and will soon pass: the hairs will fall out, the pimples will disappear. Newborn Jaundice also come off by itself. Your pediatrician will tell you about this. Ask him about everything that is incomprehensible and disturbing to you, do not be afraid to seem annoying or stupid. It is about the health and well-being of your child, so excess modesty is inappropriate here. I say this, based on my experience. As a young mother, I did not insist on the abolition of the medicine, although my son began to hide from him with huge red spots. As a result, the life of a 9-month-old son was hardly saved in intensive care.

Get a diary

Get yourself a notebook where you can write down your questions. And be sure to ask their doctor. Many keep the so-called Health Diary. It records everything related to the baby’s health (how long she was breastfeeding, when and what vaccinations were given, how she suffered them, when and how she was sick, whether there were any allergies and which medicines or products). Over time, much will be forgotten. A situation may arise when this information is needed. For example, upon admission to a hospital, the doctor always wonders what diseases the patient has had, whether he is allergic to drugs. Here the notebook will come to the rescue.

Is the baby crying? Pick up the pens

Newborn babies often cry.And the young mother is afraid that she does everything wrong. Calm down, kids often cry. Only in this way can they tell you that it is time to change the diaper, you want to eat, your stomach hurts. Or ask “on handles” to mom.

Another fear of all parents is fear of spoiling the baby. Many fear once again holding the baby in her arms. Do not be afraid. Your baby just needs parental attention, affection and care. Talk to your baby more often, pick it up, sing songs, stroke the head, and be sure to hold it in your hands while feeding from a bottle. Very quickly, the baby will learn to recognize you, smile at you. A child who has received enough parental affection and warmth is far ahead in the development of children deprived of all this in childhood.

• About how to understand the causes of crying of a newborn baby we talked about in this article;
• How to take and hold a baby in your arms, you can look at this the link;
• Well, and how to calm a crying baby, we wrote here.

Do not be afraid to breastfeed

Another fear that I had to go through is “I have bad milk, the child does not eat up.” Having given birth to a daughter, I really wanted to feed her myself. But after the next feeding, the baby constantly cried. And I thought that I had “bad”, low-fat milk, and gave my daughter a bottle. The daughter did not stop crying (there were problems with the intestines), but she refused the breast. After all, sucking milk from a bottle is much easier. Therefore, if you suspect that the baby is hungry, just give breasts more often, applying even at night. And consult a doctor, not putting off until tomorrow.

On this topic:

• How much milk should eat a newborn baby;
• How to understand that the child does not eat up breast milk -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/kormlenie-grudyu/rebenok-ne-naedaetsya-grudnyim-molokom.html.

I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm afraid

Fears that I would call common to motherfears of maternal instinct“. The baby sucks - you are afraid that he will choke on milk. When swimming, it seems to you that it may be choked with water. At night you listen to the baby’s breathing - is it breathing? Laying next to you for feeding, be careful not to fall asleep and accidentally crush. Later, when the grown child goes to school, you will also worry that you will come home in time, not get into bad company, etc. These are natural fears that are common to all parents. Just do not let them turn into mania and darken the life of you and the child.

Do not turn life into cleaning

Very common among moms fear of harm to house dust, bacteria. Of course, wet daily cleaning is necessary. But do not bring it to the point of absurdity. My acquaintance has twins, late children. All day long she scrapes, washes, cleans an already clean apartment. When I come to their home, I have a feeling of complete sterility. Even sitting on the sofa is scary. The poor girls only hear: do not touch, do not go, do not sit down. But the child should communicate more with other children and with animals, play on the street, only then will he develop a stable, full-fledged immunity.

Dummy - the desired item

One more common among parents fear - “crooked teeth will grow from the nipples”. Doctors have long established that the baby needs a certain amount of sucking movements. And if he does not receive the opportunity to suck, it will affect his development. No wonder the kids, devoid of nipples, begin to suck their own fingers. Therefore, do not take the dummy from the baby. Just pick a high-quality pacifier that will not spoil the bite.

We recommend that you familiarize yourself with:

• How to choose a quality pacifier for baby (types of soothers);
• If a baby sucks fingershow to wean from this habit.

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Do not confuse the baby

Fear “my baby is freezing”It is also quite common among inexperienced parents.Even I, already four times a grandmother, often find myself trying to cover my three-month-old granddaughter with a second cotton blanket! Forgetting that her children were constantly satisfied with air baths at a room temperature of about 22 degrees. And they rarely caught a cold. So do not confuse the baby, 20 degrees of heat in the room are the optimum temperature (See about optimal room temperature).

Is the diaper harmful?

In recent years, gauze diapers have been replaced by disposable diapers. And then it arose the myth of the dangers of disposable diapers. This is especially true for the boys in the diaper. But there is no evidence to support these rumors. Observe baby hygiene, change diapers more often, arrange air baths - and the reasons for concern will disappear (See what diapers to choose for newborns).

A little more about mom's fears

Briefly list some more completely groundless fears:

• If the baby is swaddled tightly, then the legs will not be crooked. Swaddling does not affect how slim the baby’s legs are (Pros and cons of swaddling).
• A newborn can only be bathed in boiled water. Boiling bathing water is optional. If you still worry, then prepare a decoction of a string or chamomile and use it when washing a child. It will play the role of a disinfectant and at the same time soften the water (Bathing Details).
• When using slings in babies, the spine bends. On the contrary, using slings is useful. The spine of the child is strengthened, there is a feeling of security “mother is near” (See about types of slings and how to sling choose).
• The mucus in the nose of the newborn is not an indication that he has a cold. Most likely, the room has dry air. Wet cleaning will help. (See article: how to clean the nose of a newborn)

When listening to advice from other mothers, do not follow them blindly. Remember that all children are not alike. And that which helped one is not always suitable for another!

If you feel that fear is overpowering you, seek advice and help from your grandmothers, husband, girlfriend. Leave the baby for a couple of hours with the nanny and go to unwind in a cafe, shopping, to friends. Don't let fears spoil you and your child’s life, turn you into a jerky, tormented creature. After all, the baby needs a healthy, prudent, cheerful and loving mother.

And yet, we recommend reading about:

• 5 fears of a mother of two children: get sick, fall, do not breathe... # stories of mummies
• "Diagnosis": I'm an anxious mother
• 8 signs that you are becoming an anxious mom
• 7 things that all mothers fear, but in vain
• Postpartum psychosis (causes, symptoms and treatment);
• Postpartum depression (tips on how to get out of depression - 10 tips);