10 rules of discipline for a child

Content

For many of us, the word discipline causes unpleasant associations from childhood associated with strict rules of behavior, pressure, punishment for disobedience (for example, when we didn’t want to build in pairs in a children's camp and go to school in school).

We all want to raise our children as open and liberated as possible, but practice shows that excessive freedom of action can negatively affect a child’s behavior. And vice versa: a clearly built system of rules of behavior makes a child’s life more organized, comfortable and understandable.

Evgeny Tarasov psychologist, Moscow:

Many modern mothers and fathers want to raise their children as “free”, self-confident. And often they naively believe that the kids will become so if they grow in space without rules. Meanwhile, permissiveness does not guarantee the upbringing of a strong personality from a child. Rather, the opposite. If a child under a certain age was allowed everything, he will consider that this will continue in the future. But reality will still make its own adjustments. This can happen at a party, where he will make a remark for ugly behavior, or in kindergarten. Of course, parents can protect the heir from harsh reality until some point (choose a private kindergarten, enroll in home school at school), but anyway, sooner or later, he will encounter it. And it will be difficult for him to come to terms with her.

When to start to discipline

In this, psychologists and teachers are unanimous: as early as possible. Remember, when the famous Soviet teacher Makarenko was asked when to start raising a child, if at the moment he is 6 months old? He replied that it was necessary to start 6 months ago. With about the same discipline, the sooner you start vaccinating (of course, not hard, but soft, but persistent), the better for the child.

Of course, to teach a little child to discipline is, to put it mildly, not an easy task. Especially when it’s hard for parents, due to the workload and dynamism of their lifestyle, when they themselves do not always follow the rules of discipline. But believe me, without discipline it is much more difficult. Putting it on its own, you risk turning your family's life into complete chaos, filling it with endless stresses and worries. Even basic everyday situations (shopping, walking, queues, visiting state.institutions, etc.) can turn into real hell if the child does not have a clear understanding of how to behave in a particular situation.

Of course, the rules should not be too rigid, dictatorial in nature. They should be heard in such a way that the child understands that they are needed for his own good. And, of course, sometimes there may be exceptions to them.

Psychologist's advice:

Signs of indiscipline are similar to "protest" behavior. It can be caused by conflicting relationships in the family or in the children's team. And they can also be the result of a child’s hyperactivity or, conversely, a consequence of his intellectual and “motor” passivity. And therefore it is advisable to understand the reasons for the lack of discipline of the baby - this will help to quickly begin his education in the right direction.

We instill discipline in the child: valuable recommendations

We offer 10 proven tips in education, how to make your child more disciplined:

Try for yourself to clearly define exactly what rules of behavior you want to instill in your child. Maybe this is primarily the rules of behavior at the table or strict adherence to the regime of the day. Remember your childhood years and parenting methods used by you. Take note of what seems right to you.
Any rules and norms that are instilled in the child, always confirm with your own example. If you yourself are not disciplined, how can you demand discipline from a child? For example, get ready to leave for work in advance so that there is no crazy morning fuss with a wallet or a pass.
Never crush or bully a child. This can lead to the exact opposite result (for example, the child you are trying to teach early reading in response to your pressure may even refuse to pick up the book). Try to act softly, but persistently, using a friendly and explanatory tone. As they say, water sharpens a stone.
Be consistent and go all the way to your goal.. You yourself must adhere to the rules of conduct established in your family. For example, it’s not customary for you to watch TV for food. And the kid insists: they say, without the cartoon I won’t eat a fishcake. Well, tell me, don’t eat, but know that there will be no more food before dinner. However, the “TV rule" should apply to adults. That is, dad doesn’t watch football either, and mom doesn’t watch TV shows for food.
The more rituals in your family, the more parents themselves are subordinate to the routine, the easier it is for the child to do what is asked of him. Show by your own example that the rules, family rituals and traditions are great, they unite the family very much (for example, the rule is having dinner at the table together, sharing impressions and news about the past day).
Clearly outline the boundaries of what is allowed and what is not allowed. Illustrate your arguments with illustrative examples (the road can only be crossed at a pedestrian crossing so as not to get under the car, you can’t talk with strangersbecause you can get into trouble). And from early childhood, begin to invest in the child the notion that his freedom ends where the freedom of another person begins (you cannot take someone else's, especially to beat another).
Agree on the rules of behavior you want to instill in your child with your spouse (and other family members) so that you become a united front. Inadmissible situations when one of the parents forbids something, and the other permits. For example, mom asks to wash her plate, and dad - wanting to please the child, allows her not to wash. So the child learns to adapt and manipulate others. “Ah, mom didn't allow? I'm going to dad. ”
Watch your tone. The tone of parental demand should be friendly and explanatory rather than imperative. Any prohibition is difficult for a child, and if he is pronounced angrily, it becomes doubly difficult.
Try to build trust with your child. Learn to not only listen to him, but also hear, listen to his opinion, show that it is also very important for you. Let your baby suggest a way out of the conflict. After such a "heart-to-heart talk" spend at least some time with him, read to him, play some game with him. It strengthens relationships, creates trust.
Feel free to admit your mistakes. Show the baby that even adults sometimes make mistakes, it is important to recognize and correct their mistakes in time. Do not be afraid to apologize (even if in a slightly comic form) to the baby if you have “unreasonably punished him in the heat of passion”. But at the same time try to explain to him how you will act in another similar case, and always keep this promise.