Hello to all! I’m Marina Romanenko, and today we’ll talk about what parents should do when their child suddenly starts saying NO.
The child says “No” to everything: what to do about it?
The situation is simply banal. He really loves some dish, and suddenly begins to say NO even when he is hungry, suddenly refuses to put on his favorite clothes, refuses to go out at all - he says to all: “No!”
So what is the right thing to do to pass this as quickly as possible?
Why does the child say no to everything?
For many reasons. Thus, they defend their opinion, their territory, their right to be what they are. Training time of this quality begins in 2.5-3 years.
What should parents do?
1. Be calm it's temporary
You need to be as calm as possible and understand that this is a temporary period, and it will pass. Here is your beloved child. It’s just that nature pressed such a button in him, which makes him say: “No, no, no” at all, in order to compensate for the rest of his life, and learn to be with his own opinion. And this is very important.
Therefore, respond calmly.
2. Get up early
There is a time when children begin to say NO or disagree with something, and this delays access to kindergarten, to school. Accordingly, you can be late for work, and this turns into a battle at the exit from the house.
What should be done? - You need to wake up your child earlier. You know, many parents regret - he sleeps so sweetly, he went to bed so late yesterday - and they wake him up as usual.
As a result, as usual, everything drags on, with all these NOs, with our nerves, their nerves, it is aggravated, and we are all late. We are frustrated, we can start screaming or upset, or take offense at our child.
Please wake him up earlier. If you wake him up earlier, and you have a margin of time, you will be more calm in responding to his many NOs.
Perhaps he would be glad to say YES, but he cannot during this period of time, he cannot!
We also read: How to wake a child in kindergarten
3. Use humor
The next point, which is very important for parents to understand. NO is good to fight with humor. Humor smooths out any conflict situations, and therefore you just need to joke.
When your child does not want to dress, or sits down on the floor and says: “I will not go anywhere!”, For example, tell him:
“And don't forget that you don’t get dressed today!”
- How is it not getting dressed? Getting dressed!
Or:
- Just do not eat this porridge!
And he will start to eat it.
Or, there are situations when they start to cry. You already know how events will unfold. Warn them by telling the child:
“So today I woke you up early.” Now just argue with me so as not to go brushing your teeth, turn all the clothes out of the closet, and then choose a dress for yourself!
You will be surprised - they may turn the clothes out of the closet, but they will quickly select 1-2 t-shirts, dress, and go, instead of endlessly measuring one outfit after another.
Therefore, humor, humor as much as possible - this will smooth out the conflict. You will react differently to the child, the severity of the moment will go away. And, in general, you will cope with the situation much faster.
4. Suggest alternatives
Another thing parents need to know is a great easy tool. In children at this age from 2.5 to 3-3.5 years, mainly a subject-manipulative way of thinking.
What does this mean? That they cannot think of anything, they can only repeat. And this means that you need to offer something correctly.
When you say: “Will you eat?”, He says: “No!” - it is not right. How right? You lead him into the kitchen and say:
- Will you porridge or soup?
His brain is so designed that he will have to choose one thing: banana or yogurt? You show him, he chooses one thing. And you have no conflict.
The same story is with clothes. When they protest, shout, do not want to put on a jacket - sometimes the exit to the street turns into a nightmare - from a kindergarten or from home, it does not matter! He simply refuses to stick his hands somewhere or dress, and says: “No, that's all!”
Then you ask him:
“Which hand you insert into the jacket of the first in the sleeves - this or this,” touching his hand.
He is such a:
- This ...
And you once, and quickly, like a magician, dressed this hand. And then dress this one.
- What first shoe will we put on - on the right foot (touching the right), or on the left foot (touching the left foot)?
And while he realizes what to answer, and nods one thing at a time, you need to put on this shoe right away and then put on the second shoe right away.
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And you will see that dressing or training somewhere will turn into a second event, very fast and very effective.
Be prepared that he will quickly figure out you, so next time already offer to get into a pocket, or something else, joke. And while he will think about what, quickly dress him.
Be patient!
This acute period, in which your child literally says NO to everything, actually almost always ends closer to 3.5 years. And if it started at 2.5, and you passed it gently, believe me, at 2.7 it can sometimes end, at 3 it can end. Therefore, be patient, a supply of humor, and just worry about it. Then it will contract.
I also want to say that, you know, the world will not collapse if your child is strangely dressed alone among all the others. True, it will not collapse, but it will collapse, perhaps its internal self-esteem, if you break it at some point, put it on as you need, and shove it where it is expected that it should look like this.
Somehow survive when you go very beautiful and very elegant, and next to you is a child who has chosen completely unsuitable clothes for this.
If it’s cold outside and he’s lightly dressed, just inform him that you have taken a warm jacket with you. As soon as he decides that he is cold, you will be ready to give it instead of trying to dress him right away with cry, scream and irritation.
And when you support them 1, 2, 3 or 5, you will lay a solid foundation for him to grow up very stressed, steady, self-confident, liberated, possibly very creative person, found himself and realized, and was happy in life. That's all!
See you soon!
I believe that if a child does something, then this is a repetition of someone else's behavior model, and most likely parents. Therefore, it is worth thinking about yourself in the first place, changing something in yourself and see how the behavior of the child changes. And his “No” should not be reacted negatively.
That's what we adults are, in order to be able to convince and find contact with the child. I myself am a father and similar situations arose when my daughter was four, but since I constantly communicate with her and have authority in my daughter, this has ceased to be a problem. A child cannot be indulged in everything, sometimes make concessions - yes, but the main thing is to have a sense of proportion, not blind love, but common sense. I understood such a thing, by indulging the child, we destroy it and spoil it. Discipline should be.
Our son had a period when he began to demand increased attention and began to answer “No!” Just then, our youngest daughter was born and a three-year-old son, with all his childhood powers and tricks, was trying to “pull the blanket over himself”. Jealousy. Fortunately, the problem was solved, he had a genuine interest in his sister, and we encouraged it and sent it on the right track.