In the first years of life, it happens that children refuse to do something, it would seem, for no apparent reason. Fear is often hidden under external moodiness and harmfulness. When a child is afraid of the pot, accustoming him to the toilet becomes a problem, i.e. it’s just learning to walk the pot becomes a problem ...
Pot Fear: Causes of Fear
- Often the baby is taught to use the potty when, for physiological reasons, he is not yet ready for it. The emergence of new abilities, including the holding of feces and urine, in all children depends on the maturation of certain centers in the brain. The areas of the brain responsible for bowel movements and urination take effect, starting from 1.5-2.5 yearsTherefore, it is absolutely useless to demand the ability to use a pot from a one-year-old child. You can catch, use the pot as a toy, preparing the baby for a new skill, but in no case teach it. Untimely, intrusive training can lead to a negative perception by the baby of this subject, which is exacerbated by fears and a complete refusal to go on the potty in the future.
- The child is afraid of the pot because it is a new subject for him. This happens if the parents did not buy the pot in advance, the baby did not have time to get used to the new “friend”. And now they are trying to put him on this cold, slippery and rather scary subject.
- In kindergarten, there are cases when caregivers inadequately react to the fact that the child did not have time or forgot to go to the toilet. Emotional exclamations about the trouble that befell the child in full view of other children can instill fear in the baby’s soul not only about the pot itself, but also with acts of defecation and urination. When arranging a child in kindergarten, parents are obliged to see what kind of toilet is there: are there pots (toilets) convenient, is there toilet paper, can the child retire. The absence of these conditions almost always leads to the fact that children restrain the urge to defecate before coming home, which leads to constipation.
- The next reason that the child is afraid of the pot follows directly from the previous one. With the appearance of physiological constipation in a child, babies feel pain during bowel movements due to the fact that feces become dense and injure the rectal mucosa. Unpleasant sensations during the use of the pot lead to the fact that the baby this item will begin to be associated only with pain, and the child will become afraid to poop into the pot. Such constipation is already psychological.
- Parents who try to plant a child by the hour, deprive their children of independence and stingy to praise, may be faced with the fact that the baby will be afraid to sit on the potty.When a baby is punished for untidiness, ashamed, his level of anxiety and fear increases. Fear of not meeting the expectations of parents with whom the child has weak emotional contact builds up inside without finding a way out. If the child is afraid of the pot - this may be due to excessive demands on him and lack of support.
- The source of fears in children can be their own fantasies, which often do not bypass the pot. It may seem to a child that someone lives in the toilet and grabs him by the ass, or drains him into the pipe when draining the water. Similar illusions in children can be associated with an ordinary children's pot. It is necessary to speak confidentially with the baby and find out what exactly he is afraid of.
- The reason that a child is afraid to sit on the potty can be so commonplace that many parents do not even suspect how poorly they understand their baby. There are shy, not age-old shy children who at 3 years old can refuse to go to the toilet in the presence of strangers or parents of the opposite sex. In this case, it is enough to create comfortable, secluded conditions for the child and the problem will be solved.
Video: mom scolds little daughter
So, when you try to put a child on a pot, and he cries, screams, runs away, hides, then in such a situation it is useless to get the child to “do his thing” into the pot. But there are a number of tips on how to help your baby overcome the fear of the pot.
- Leave the child alone, wait until the situation is forgotten, and the baby ceases to be afraid of the pot. This is very important, without this item everything else will not work! You should stop running after the baby with a pot for an edge. After all, it is fixing on this problem in the family that worsens the child’s fear of the pot;
- You can buy a new pot for your child (let the child choose it for himself). It is very important that the baby feels a kind of power over the situation;
- Put the purchase in the room where the child is most often located, but do not insist that the baby immediately use it for its intended purpose. Otherwise, you can provoke that the child will again be afraid of the pot. Let the baby get used to it, he regulates the distance. This will relieve pressure on your part, that is, you will not run after the baby with this question;
- You can study it, get to know it, see what it is made of, feel it, turn it over, etc. This will remove part of the fear of the unknown, that is, of an incomprehensible pot;
- You need to lose this situation in games. Let the child plant dolls, toys, etc. on the pot. As a result of such games, the baby will gradually perceive it as something ordinary, ordinary. And what’s most important here: the game carries positive emotions, playing the “pot” situation is positive emotions in relation to the pot;
- Instead of insisting “Anya, let's go to the pot!”, You can drive your child’s favorite toys “to the pot”: “Our bunny wanted to write, let's go with him”, etc. This technique is very similar to the previous one and actually the mechanism of action is the same here;
- Put eyes and a smile on the pot. So an unfamiliar depersonalized object will turn into a friend of the baby;
- This technique works very well: to invent, tell and play with the baby fairy tales on the pottery theme. The premise of a fairy tale can be like this: a pot is very sad to just stand idle, lonely, etc. He cries a lot when they do not write to him and do not poop.
Video: The child refused to go to the toilet on the potty
Psychotherapy
Usually by the age of 2, children already love when they read books. An excellent method in the treatment of fears in children is fairy tale therapy. If a child begins to be afraid of the pot for some reason, a fairy tale can help identify it and then neutralize it. Listening to stories, children associate themselves with the main characters. Most often, kids unknowingly like fairy tales, the plot of which reflects their own problem or fear. Therefore, inventing a therapeutic fairy tale for a child who is afraid to poop and write in a pot, it is necessary:
- Draw an analogy between the actions in a fairy tale and the problems of the baby;
- The character of the fairy tale should be the same age as the child;
- In a fairy tale there must be a solution to the problem with a favorable outcome. Drawing parallels of fears in a child’s life and in history, it is necessary to downplay the significance of what the child is afraid of;
- The tale should be in a language understandable to the child;
- Tell a fairy tale when the baby is positive.
Read on:
- How to properly teach a child to go to the potty: methods 3 and 7 days
- 10 mistakes when teaching a baby to potty
- How to choose a pot
“The formula for easy potty training”
Do you know this? – Your child screams, arches his back and categorically refuses to sit on the pot ... You are tired of constantly wiping puddles on the floor! You don’t know how to help your child get accustomed to “toilet matters”? You're tired of spending tons of money on tons of diapers !!
Video: Ways to put the baby on the potty
We had a fear of the potty after visiting the kindergarten, for some unfortunate teachers it was urgently necessary to teach my two-year-old son to write while standing, and these attempts caused fear for the potty, since he couldn’t write with a banal standing, he generally stopped asking pot. After a preventive conversation with the teacher and in a playful way, I managed to lure the child into the potty and let him pee while sitting, but I think that it does not matter at all, and most importantly that we are not afraid of the pot again)
Now there are a lot of music pots on sale. Not every child can please them. If the child is frightened by the sound from below, it is better to remove the battery. And it is better to never use metal pots, as in the old days, the baby ass on them is not comfortable.
We also made a mistake by persistently accustoming the child to the pot from a year old. But we began to insist, because we caught the moment several times and for some time the son himself approached the pot and sometimes even successfully) But then he sharply opposed (shouted, kicked) and sat on the pot when it was too late. We eased the pressure, and after 3 months we started trying again. Now, with rare exceptions, we do everything on time and in the right place.
We, too, were afraid for a long time to sit on the pot. I kept it above the pot - everything is fine. My aunt helped, by accident. My son was one and a half years old and I left him with my aunt for several hours. She did not know that the baby was afraid to sit on the pot, and planted it. He sat down, and since then everything was fine with us with a pot.