How much great happiness a long-awaited present for a child brings, parents who give this same present receive no less joy. Every loving dad and mom want to please their baby and are struggling to give the child pleasure. The child’s eyes glowing with happiness at the sight of a new toy or treat make parents present gifts more often. Only once does the moment come when your baby can turn into a small ransomware, and from the threshold it’s touchy to ask: “What did you bring me?” If the answer is no, the child may even throw a tantrum or be very offended.
Gradually, the child suddenly ceases to appreciate gifts, and the needs of the crumbs do not stop growing. So where is the line when gifts become detrimental to personal development, and why we, parents, ourselves cultivate little extortionists.
Categories of young “petitioners”
There are several categories of children who constantly require gifts.
- Explicit Demand. Such a kid openly requires giving him regularly, he sincerely believes that loved ones are obliged to do this just because he is a child. For any even the smallest action or help, a present asks for a present. She easily blackmails her parents, for example, refuses to eat, go to bed, go to her grandmother. Requirements often turn into crying, nervous behavior. Parents sometimes believe that it is better to give up and buy what the child wants, if only a conditional peace reigns;
- Poor thing. In the eyes of parents he equates gifts and their quantity with a manifestation of love, considers himself unhappy and deprived, not receiving what he wants, behaves accordingly. Can blame parents for failure and compare self-unhappy with other children (Under the guise of a victim. What to do if the child “beats to pity”);
- Secret manipulator. He knows how to find the weaknesses of loved ones, knows where to put pressure so that they feel awkward. “I won’t go for a walk, I don’t have one of the last dolls from the collection,” says the little one, and it’s nothing that there are more than a dozen doll beauties in the nursery. Parents feel uncomfortable, ashamed that the child is deprived. The manipulator kid will always be able to find new ways to persuade loved ones to buy what he wants.
We also read: Little manipulators: how to respond to the tricks of the child? 10 most successful childhood phrases
Than bad a huge number of toys
Of course, toys today are an integral part of childhood, they need the baby for development. Only here, their excessive number is not always the right approach to education.
A huge mass of gifts, one way or another, leads to a violation of personal development, a person gradually develops a tendency to waste, unhealthy gambling, and ceases to appreciate the surprises and the donors themselves. Mountains of gifts bring only fleeting pleasure, the child does not have time to figure it out and benefit from toys.
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The child may even suffer self-esteem, because the development and awareness of individuality, self-esteem has little to do with material excesses. A child without toys begins to feel flawed, inferior, believing that it is the material that makes him a successful member of society.
In addition, children who know how to value gifts and cherish them are capable of generosity and generosity, they themselves enjoy gift giving, while feeling happy.
We also read: How many toys does a child need? What kind of toys do children of different ages need?
Why the baby has become a ransomware
Basically, their immediate relatives are guilty of this behavior of children. It is clear that loved ones do not want to develop their child as an ardent manipulator, so it’s worth understanding the reasons.
- Replacing communication. Very often, parents replace conversations and joint games with the purchase of a new toy for the baby. It would seem that the child is busy, satisfied, mom and dad are busy with their own affairs, everything seems to be fine. Only even the most beautiful and modern toy can not become a substitute for parental love and communication with the child. The kid will feel emptiness and alienation, and as a result, ask for toys more and more. So that the child’s psyche and self-esteem do not suffer, be sure to give him time, just talk, share opinions, participate in the baby’s life, enjoy his achievements and victories;
- Reward. Gifts can be a reward for good behavior, five at school, toys removed, consent to stay with my grandmother, etc. Award award discord. A gift for a baby for first place in the Olympiad and a present for going to the store are completely different things. It is not necessary to motivate the child’s actions materially. It is important to explain to the child that good behavior, mutual assistance, caring, studying, striving for the best, for victory are integral parts of the life of any successful person. The correct reference will give your child the ability to strive to be better himself, without gifts and "purchases" of life victories;
- Myself similar. Parents, not noticing it themselves, can endow the child endlessly, as if compensating for what they themselves were deprived of in childhood. Think about it, but in reality, your baby needs a particular toy, or you need it;
- Discouragement. Pay attention if your child is bored with toys, maybe you are buying all new entertainments, but your child is just bored, and he lacks joint active games. Imagine, sculpt from clay, sand, collect natural materials and make crafts, come up with exciting quests, make your kid’s childhood fascinating.
What to do if the child has already demanded endless gifts
- Limitations Try to limit yourself and close relatives in buying gifts for the child. Realize what your baby really needs. On the eve of the holidays, discuss with relatives who and what is going to give, ask everyone to help you re-educate the baby. Gradually, the child will begin to understand the value of gifts.
- Utility. Get useful toys that develop sets. Let the presentations contribute to the creative and mental development of the baby. The child will understand that in order to feel gifted, unusual, you do not need unnecessary toys.
- Learn to give. Teach your child a useful skill such as giving. It is important that you make it clear to the baby how pleasant it is to bring joy to someone. This will develop the bounty, altruistic tendencies of the child.
- Dreamers. Take the child up with fun games, invent fairy tales together, draw, create toys with your own hands, then the baby will not get bored, and he will not need another fleeting hobby in the form of a thousandth car or doll.
- Attention and love. Only your care, participation and sincere love can change the baby. Your attention and honest interest in the affairs of the crumbs will save him from a feeling of loneliness and uselessness.
If a holiday is coming, what to give
If a holiday event is approaching, and your baby will expect a gift from you, approach this issue wisely. Find out in advance what the child dreams of, what he plans to do with it. If the child wants the twentieth tractor, which he liked in the store, gently switch it to another object, making it desired. Describe, for example, how great it is to have a magnetic constructor or real tennis rackets. Help your child find a new dream unnoticed, without pressure.
Think about what the child really needs, what you yourself would like to give him. You can "accidentally" pay attention to it in the store, or let the child see how you look at a gift on the Internet. Be sure to consider the age and abilities of the child. It is unlikely that your two-year-old baby will enjoy the chessboard. Do not chase brands, believe me, your child doesn’t care what kind of manufacturer the machine or engine is. For you, as a parent, an important criterion should be the quality and safety of the toy materials.
To make a gift a surprise, you can write a wish list of the baby and gradually fulfill it.
If your child really wants a toy like his friends, but it does not differ in any usefulness, or does not suit you in the price range, try working for substitution. Go to where the kid can find a new object of dreams.
Let your holidays be joyful, and children happy not only from the fact that they have a myriad of toys, but from the fact that they have a wonderful family and friends.
We also read:
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I think that for a child there are not many toys and gifts. Ideally, parents should try to satisfy their child’s desires, and if it doesn’t work, then come up with something so that he is not offended and everyone is happy!
It is difficult to resist the “Wishlist” of the only child. We had to go to the trick - to say that the money was over. Still, if possible, as little as possible to go to the store with the baby - so there are less temptations.
Granddaughter loves to travel, this is the best gift for her. And I need her to regularly attend a chess club, she has the makings. So we agree. What is called both ours and yours.
We try to give such gifts so that the whole family can take part in the game, then the gift also brings joy and is remembered longer. Therefore, now we have chosen a sititek digital microscope, since due to the ability to transfer the image to a monitor, everyone can consider the subject being studied and express their opinion.