Children often beg for something, but their endless “want” often contradict the wishes of their parents. Moms and dads stubbornly resist the whims of the child, justifying this by the lack of extra money or educational goals. Psychologists have a different point of view. They explain that behind the refusal to fulfill the wishes of the kids, complexes of adults are hidden.
What are they?
- When parents themselves were children, adults did not fulfill their wishes. So they caused psychological trauma, making them think that their requests are ridiculous and impossible. Having matured, they themselves abandoned their desires, and the numerous “want” children now seem to them something that is contrary to reality.
- Fear of public censure. If the baby begs for something, parents begin to worry about what others will think. The worst thing happens to them when a child begs the toys in the storewhere around a lot of strangers. People unconsciously transfer the blame for the inappropriate behavior of the children to their parents, which makes them embarrassed and really feel guilty.
- Rejection of discontent. This happens when parents are not ready to separate the child from themselves. This happens more often with mothers - they can perceive themselves and a child as a whole, until he reaches adolescence. Since there is unity, then desires must also coincide. Parents want to feel loved and understand that for this they need to be necessary for children. While the baby is a baby, this need is felt in the physical plane. As the child grows up, parents seek to transfer it to the psychological level. As a result, they sometimes form such a strong attachment that it lasts until old age, and their adult child cannot adjust their personal lives because of this.
These are the opinions of psychologists, in some ways they are really right. Just what should parents do when they hear from the child: “I want to!”? Is it worth it to constantly indulge the whims of sons and daughters, because now their desires go far beyond the vital needs?
Modern children are very different from those who grew up in the difficult 1990s, and even more so during the Soviet era. They are spoiled by a lot of entertainment, fashionable clothes, gadgets. Poorly dressed, not having one of the new products is a bad taste in the children's team. Children who do not have new smartphones with touch screens are sometimes even ridiculed at school. Most of children's desires are dictated by society and changeable fashion, but all this hurts the family budget. Brand things, new iPhone and iPad models, model cars and dolls, as well as tuition fees, classes in circles and sections, treatment, pocket money ... Large amounts come out that for many parents become unbearable.
Children's wishes are limited not only due to limited finances, but also for the safety of the child.The eyes of children are attracted by knives, forks, needles, other sharp and cutting objects, but they can only be used from a certain age and under parental supervision.
There are many similar conventions, and you need to tell about them truthfully. If there is no money for a new toy, there is no need to scream, scold and punish the child for tantrums. Sit him down and explain in a calm tone: “If we buy you a car now, in the evening we will have nothing to eat. I have money only for porridge and milk. Do you want this? ” For the baby to understand the meaning of your words, wait until he calms down and can perceive your explanations. Do not react aggression to a tantrum, do not indulge it. Talk to your child when he stops crying and screaming.
A reasonable solution is to give your baby gifts that allow your income. Explain that mom and dad make money with difficulty, so you need to spend it on the necessary things. When surpluses appear, then parents will gladly make a present. This will allow to teach the baby reasonable savings from childhood. Scientists also suggest that the child make money on a toy: let him do the dishes, take out the trash, do other housework for a fee. In this case, the gift will bring more satisfaction.
We also read: pocket money child
