The main activities of the newborn baby are food and sleep. Both of these processes involve the participation of the mother, and if everything is more or less simple with food, then sleep sometimes becomes a real problem. Sometimes the sleep of the beloved baby begins to bother the mother when the child falls asleep and sleeps only in her arms, and as soon as you try to put the baby in the crib (or stroller), he immediately wakes up and has to rock again. Mom is forced to either sleep half-sitting, for fear of dropping the baby, or not to sleep at all. Such a child’s behavior has understandable reasons, without which it’s impossible to “untie” mom’s hands. They will be discussed.
Why is he sleeping in his arms
The need for constant bodily contact with the mother is undeniable for the baby. Being on hand and feeling mom's warmth, a newborn baby calms down, feels safe. Psychologists who study the issues of affection between mother and child have found that children who are able to enjoy mother's touch indefinitely grow up more successful, confident, and strong. They learn the postulate from birth “This world needs me, they love me here”.
Sleep for a child is a special condition. Children live "Here and now". The child closes his eyes - and the world for him ceases to exist, and the world for him is, first of all, mother. Therefore, the situation of falling asleep in itself is already alarming for the baby. The desire not only to fall asleep in your arms, but also to stay there for the whole duration of sleep, can be caused by various reasons: colic, feeling unwell, emotional agitation, or encountering some kind of traumatic situation (quarrels at home, tension between family members). The reasons can be completely different, but they have a common root: the child experiences great anxiety and does not feel safe even in a dream.
It is believed that you can teach you to sleep on your hands, if you often take a child in his arms in the first weeks of life, rocking him (Cm whether to rock the child before bedtime). For fear of accustoming their hands, some mothers ignore the crying and anxiety of the child, leaving the baby to fall asleep in the bed alone, exhausted by long screams. After a while, such children really begin to fall asleep themselves and calmly agree to sleep separately (sometimes even in a separate room), however, there is nothing good about this. The child accepts that he cannot get his mother’s warmth, and the baby can no longer form a reliable safe attachment to his mother.
We recommend that you watch publications on the topic of sleep of a newborn baby:
When to start teach a child to sleep separately (real stories);
Useful how to put a child to sleep without tears and vagaries (tips, methods, techniques);
When is the best time to stop swaddling your baby and whether you need to rock it
8 ways to put a baby to sleep
By following a few simple steps, you will help your baby finally relax and fall asleep.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW1Al01OOHI
What to do mom
However, no matter how natural the wishes of the child may be, for a mother sleeping only in her arms is very difficult, and trying to wean the baby out of this habit means going against nature. How to be? The best way is not to excommunicate the child (Cm when can you begin to wean a child by hand), and try to saturate this need for contact in other ways, so that the child becomes ready to sleep in the crib.
- Try to keep your baby in your arms as often as possible while awake. For this purpose it turns out to be very useful sling. In a sling, the baby is pressed to his mother with his whole body, feels her warmth and is in the know about all the events. At the same time, mom does not experience a huge load and inconvenience, as if the child was in her arms.
- Do not give up sharing a dream with your baby. If you practice joint sleep from birth, the child will not be aware of the fear of separation from his mother, because from the first days he will feel: the mother is nearby. In this case, the need to be and even sleep on your hands will not be so painful (Link to an article on when to teach a baby to sleep separately above).
- If a joint dream is unacceptable for you, try to organize the baby's berth correctly. Instead of a spacious and disproportionate baby calf cribs buy a cradle, and do not refuse swaddling to sleep. Of course, mother’s hands will not replace all these measures, but under such conditions the child will be much calmer and more comfortable. The fact is that safety for the baby is associated with his being in his mother’s abdomen: the mother’s womb hugs the baby tightly, its arms and legs are pressed to the body. In a crib and without a diaper, the child does not feel the boundaries around him, from this his fears and discomfort intensify, he falls asleep badly and sleeps restlessly, constantly requiring mom's attention (read pros and cons of swaddling).
- Kids are very sensitive to smells, so next to a sleeping baby you can put something from my mother’s clothes. Familiar smells lull the baby's alertness.
Swaddling and how to put your baby to bed
All these measures are unlikely to completely rid the mother of the need for motion sickness and sleep the baby in her arms, but they can facilitate the “manual” period for the mother and give her the opportunity to rest sometimes. Sleep on his hands will remain only for cases of aggravation of the need to stay next to mom, and will cease to be a constant phenomenon in the life of the family.
We also read:
- How to lull a baby quickly: 7 proven ways
- How to teach a child to sleep separately (in his crib)
- When is the best time to stop swaddling your baby and whether you need to rock it
- How to put a child to sleep without tears and vagaries
- Video: 5 secret ways to put your baby to sleep (LIFE HACKS for MOM)
- Tracy Hogg shares the secrets of laying babies
- An ingenious trick - how to put a child to sleep in 1 minute
- 6 things to help the baby fall asleep
- 5 secret ways to put your baby to sleep (LIFE HACKS for MOM)
- How to teach a child to sleep separately from parents
An ingenious trick - how to put a child to sleep in less than 1 minute
Video: Rituals before bedtime
I always believed that sling is a good thing, going back from our ancestors. I have my first memories of how every mother’s touch was magical, how she put toys, how she covered the doll. It is very difficult to find the line where both the mother and the child will be comfortable, where all interests will be taken into account. But you need to learn this.
In our family lives a seven-month baby. As a rule, a child becomes “tame” after talking with his grandmother. She's talking too much. The child calmly falls asleep himself, if you do not indulge him with attention.
I'd rather spoil my attention. My mother also put me in another room and let me shout. As a result, her smell and touch are incredibly unpleasant for me, my mother always considered a stranger to be a person, although she later tried to correct mistakes, and at the age of 30 she stopped talking to her.
Do not indulge in attention? Is this commentator crazy or does the child hate? Who, if not parents, should give maximum attention? They will grow, and very quickly, and then remember. And at the age of 14 they will no longer hug, will not kiss, teenage hard time and all that.
I carry it on my hands, I sleep nearby.