A familiar situation: you need a nanny for a child who has the best human qualities. However, finding a woman who matches the ideal image is quite difficult. One nanny has a lot of experience, but she is elderly. The second is young and energetic, but the proposed salary does not suit her. And the third is too secretive. You start to wonder if you should take your own girlfriend for this position? Although she is not a certified psychologist, she is a proven and reliable person. Nevertheless, there are many pitfalls in this decision, which we will talk about.
Statistics say that almost half of working mothers choose friends or girlfriends to look after the baby. They are easy to understand: there is an opportunity to agree that they take children from the kindergarten, take a walk in the yard or park, and after work you can gossip. But opponents of such a situation argue that disputes over payment or methods of education can nullify any, even the strongest friendship.
BEHIND
- You know her well. A friend, of course, will sincerely take care of the child (timely feed, warm clothes), and he will not have to get used to an unfamiliar aunt. And you will not begin to worry that a stranger is next to him.
- Flexible schedule. A good friend will not refuse to sit a couple of extra hours if you suddenly stay at work, get stuck in a traffic jam or ask her, for example, to take care of a sick baby.
- Lower costs. You have the opportunity to save on the services of a professional Mary Poppins. Believe me, the difference between paying for the services of an experienced nanny with experience and your girlfriend will be impressive.
- Consensus on Child Development. Close people often have similar views on educational methods, ways of encouraging and, if necessary, punishment. And if there are disagreements, you can always find a common language.
- Frequent meetings. Now you do not have to call up for a long time, arrange a visit, transfer planned household chores and ask your spouse for help. 10-20 minutes a day you will definitely have to talk.
Agree, the picture is more than rosy, but here it was not without a fly in the ointment. The main disadvantages of the situation when your acquaintance acts as a nanny follow from her privileged position.
AGAINST
- Personal relationships. How can I tell my best friend that you don’t like her educational methods, her behavior with her child, and her desire to give unnecessary advice? You will definitely feel guilty, especially if you do not pay for the care of the baby.
- Financial disputes. Even if you previously agree on the amount of remuneration, you cannot rule out a conflict over money. A friend can decide that you are underestimating the cost of her services, and your husband, on the contrary, will consider that you spend too much on an unprofessional assistant.
- Difficulties with "dismissal". A foreign woman is easier to fire if you do not want to cooperate with her more. And how to delicately explain to a girlfriend that she is not suitable for the role of educator?
- The loss of a friend. If you are no longer satisfied with the quality of her work, there will be a desire to find another nanny who is more knowledgeable in the development of children, you can simply lose your loved one. Friendship will end.
If possible friction does not scare you, you are completely confident in your girlfriend, feel free to choose this option for looking after your baby. But first, listen to our recommendations.
Three important tips
- Over a cup of tea, discuss in advance what her duties will be. Discuss the issues of discipline, feeding, hygiene, safety, its reaction to the vagaries of children.
- Be sure to address the issue of material incentives in the conversation. Decide how much, when and for what you will pay, so that no further misunderstandings arise.
- Assign each other a probationary period, at the end of which you can understand whether you are suitable for the role of “boss”, and your girlfriend for the role of a nanny. Then you will have no reason for quarrels and scandals.
Further: Who is better - grandmother or nanny? Advantages and disadvantages of choosing a nanny. The pros and cons of a grandmother in the role of a teacher - https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/eto-polezno-znat/babushka-ili-nyanya-s-kem-ostavit-rebenka.html
Of course, it's up to you to decide whether to mix work and friendship. We hope that the choice made will only strengthen relations with a friend and will benefit both you and your child.
READ ALSO ON THE TOPIC:
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Practical advice on choosing a nanny for a small child
