The happiness of motherhood or “I want to go out the window”. Real and scary stories of mommies

The condition "mother at zero" was experienced by almost all women during maternity leave. This is not so difficult to cope with if there is understanding and support from loved ones. But they are not always and not at all.

When there is no one to help mom, and give her the opportunity to spend at least a couple of hours a day on herself, emotional burnout occurs. And then motherhood turns into a personal hell. It is not customary to share such experiences out loud. It remains only to write about them on the Internet.

All stories - from the group in vkontakte # happiness of maternity

Spelling, punctuation and styles of authors are saved. Original texts

“Yesterday I made coffee for myself, and by an unexpected person I started throwing all objects into the wall opposite. After being thrown, with all the rage, there were not enough cans of coffee for me. Next was a jar of jam, a water filter, a couple of jars of cereal, a bag of milk, a clock and hell knows what else ... My daughter was in the room at that time, the door was closed. She was 100% scared, but after about 10 minutes I flew up on the wings of relief after the rage was relieved, put the baby to sleep. An awesome way to get rid of aggression, sorry I just opened it yesterday. Even my sarcastic humor is returning ... but after half a year he was gone !!! And damn it, I cleaned for three hours (((. I’ll still have to buy a roll of wallpaper)) It’s better not to do this at home, but after decree alone I didn’t come up with anything better. Well, anyway, I’m probably going to a psychiatrist antidepressants or consultation in the style of “what to do when everything’s already” ?!

“It seems to me that I'm ready to cut my nipples with scissors. Just so that no one sucks them, relishes, twists, tweaks ... And in general, so that they are not touched. Who came up with breastfeeding ??? Of course, I am grateful that we did not spend money on the mixture, since money was end-to-end. But I can’t. Her husband is also in the same jungle as his 11-month-old son. Sometimes I dream of sticking them together, but this is unrealistic. Everyone will demand my breasts. Son to fall asleep, husband to caress, since you see he can’t calmly look at them, they excite him. How can this already slice of “minced meat", hanging on different sizes of breasts, be exciting ???? AAAAAAA I HATE !!!!!! I don’t want any more GV. ”

“Already a year alone with his son, 30sq meters, one. The duel is everywhere - you can’t wash it in the bathroom, don’t put it in the hallway, you can’t feed it in the kitchen, it goes to bed terribly. I want to work. I would live to see the garden, it’s already good. Every day I howl a beluga, my son cries with me. I want to die, I hate myself for letting a man into the world and I can’t give him proper love, I’m just an overseer, I’m watching that he doesn’t get killed, there’s simply no strength for classes and games. God grant that he grows up and does not hate me. "

“Well, younger crawled today, now I’m kapets.”

“In the evenings, knocks down. The child sleeps, the husband also, and I sit in the kitchen with the phone and eat. How beautiful they are, these moments of peace and quiet! Without maaaaaam, hanging on my arms and legs, snatching food from my mouth ... And even if my eyes are almost stuck together, I’m still sitting, I want to encourage this peace of mind longer, to believe that it takes up a large part of my life ... ”

“My daughter and I have been ill for the second week. Bronchitis. She is 2.5. Very awkward. By the evening I already want to go kill. My roommate said, well, it’s not in vain that motherhood was invented by nature ... He comes home from work and lies on the couch with a phone, and I’m spinning, give me some medicine, wipe my snot, eat, drink, take out the pot 33 times a day, everything climbs, everything is enough the toys are scattered all the time, in short, well, just ** a ... And also I have to serve an adult peasant, despite the fact that I feel bad. Yesterday a conversation started, what will happen if something happens to me? So this wise guy said that he would not serve himself, but would quickly find himself another woman, close up her child, and she would sit with both children and look after him! To say that I'm freaking out is to say nothing! ”

“The husband went to the store. And I sit with my six-month happiness and roar. Very sad. I'd like to at least a little break free. With the child, the husband does not let go to the store "they will sneeze there." I don’t even have tea when I want. Always with an eye out. Or you need to ask someone. And so all the time. Neither the husband nor the mother-in-law is needed. Wanted - let's go. No one says, “Tanya, will you sit with the child while I run to the shower?” And I have to. In the shower once a week under the phrase "Well, you are quick there." Even to the toilet with permission. And even if a minute appears there is no desire whatsoever. What nafik manicure, I could not cut off a broken nail for three days. And no one to complain. The husband will again say that I am drinking or whining or a dull th *. And no one else. Nobody cares. I'll go crazy in these four walls. At least to get here, everyone here has his own personal daily war. ”

“There is no #mother of motherhood. This is such torment that I could not even imagine in my worst nightmare. My child got me. To such an extent that I dream of passing it somewhere. In a madhouse or in an orphanage. You can throw me slippers and rotten tomatoes for such words, but I was really sick of it. He is 4 years old and he is simply uncontrollable. He yells for an hour simply because they did not give him a cookie that is not there, or, for example, turned off the light where he is not at the moment. Yesterday he crawled under the sofa and screamed there. He simply yelled and everything, as if they were cutting him.

The neighbors rang the doorbell, more than once the police came, came from the guardianship to look at the living conditions of the child. Do I need it? We are a normal family, we don’t drink, we don’t smoke, we work .... But this child ... He does not understand words, punishments. He doesn’t understand anything at all !!! And it infuriates me !!! Scratched furniture, torn wallpapers and curtains, broken toys. Why do I need it? Is it really bad for me? How I envy those who have no children. What a fool I was when I wanted a child and cried when I saw a negative test. I hate myself. I don’t want to be a servant all my life, to be dishonored with the garden and school because of his behavior ... My life is one and it is not eternal, I want to live it for my pleasure, but I will suffer with it all my life, because the society imposes on us fucking #part of motherhood. ”

“After a terrible sleepless night, with the baby, whose teeth are being cut, in her arms, dancing with a tambourine, fell completely exhausted in the morning. 15 minutes of sleep and crying again. I just started to fall asleep normally, morning, 7 am, all day ahead. I want to go out the window, but I need to change the diaper and soothe it again. ”

“I have been suffering from insomnia for four years - from my second pregnancy. It was complicated and we barely survived both. I periodically lunacha and until two years younger was afraid at night to throw mine out of the window. I woke up at night and checked if everything was in place - and suddenly I was already crazy and did not remember how I had already thrown it away.Now the youngest is three, already six months as she went to work, insomnia is in place. Now I am worried about work, and children, and the lack of me for myself, and the lack of me for children, and about my husband and should not speak - I do not exist for him. Work work work. Mugs, speech therapist, school - the bills themselves will not pay. And I’d go to a doctor, let them prescribe pills, they will prescribe a therapeutic sleep for a hypnotic, but once, there’s no time. ”

“Yesterday at the daughter (9 years) in the evening there was a tantrum, well, the cub jammed. I was afraid to get a deuce at school. He cannot fall asleep, tears themselves roll. I wanted to reassure the child, drip motherwort. What do we have in the end. Scandal in the house! Dad ran in, the child’s tears infuriated me and my attempts to calm Her, threw the youngest (4 months) on the sofa, poured a mug of cold water directly into the elder’s face, into the bed and when she got hysterical, he began to thrash her. I felt sorry for Her, tried to separate them as a result, still kicked and kicked me. And the extravaganza of the evening I began to tear my daughter to the nerves. I haven’t slept all night. How sickening and filthy on the soul. And nowhere to go and I can’t see him. And the worst thing is that with every quarrel, he begins to immediately kick in the back, even when I hold my son in his arms. 12 years together, this has been going on for the last 1.5 years. Thank you for reading. Nobody will just say it (((”

“It annoys me that my daughter constantly wants something from me, it is infinite: mamamamama .... mom, why, why, mom, take it away, mom give, mom show, mom play with me, mom I want juice, mom I drank juice, mom I poop ... .... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ... I myself can not normal, sorry, poop . The head is being revealed. It’s also a guilty feeling that I don’t want to communicate with my child, she’s so all day in the garden, I’m at work.

But when you yourself want to talk with a child, when you pick her up with a smile from the garden, when you ask how her day went, etc. thrash begins, she screams, doesn’t want to dress, makes a hysteria because you can’t, for example, put on a girl’s jacket from a neighboring locker .... and while you drag her in snot and tears to the house, such anger and shaking wake up that everything the desire to play and chat disappears momentarily. And remember how nice it was to come home from work, and nobody at home? ”

"Girls! Cry from the heart! Roar and roar! I am writing and roaring! I got tired of the fact that no one, well, just NOBODY NOBODY DOES NOT UNDERSTAND ME! and does not hear! In the evening, the husband came, whom I was waiting and thought I would die from my state, but he also scolded me! What am I wrong! What do I need to be treated! The fact that dinner is ready and the baby is fed-fed and at home is in order, but I have 38.5 and I'm in a fever and I literally crawl around, and all day I roar from the child’s tantrums! My husband and I began to talk about his work, that we’ll deal with it. Type, don’t worry .. but in response—— chase !!!! Everyone needs support! Not to me! I probably don’t need a kind word ... howling !!! What for I need it ... I want to go out the window. Just tired. Just burned out ... And what about the husband? A TV set is sitting, smoking, resting after a working day ... ”

“Hatred, Samoyedness, automatism. These are, perhaps, three words with which I can describe 4 years and 3 months of motherhood. Since the birth of a child, I have not felt warm feelings for him. No, I'm not screaming, not beating, not ignoring. It’s just the emotions that I give out in response to the norm. I know that you need to feel sorry and blow sores, praise the drawings and download when it hurts. Smile, play. But I feel nothing for him. Sometimes, while engaging in another child's care, the thought slips through my head that I am in the matrix. I'm in nowhere. I was just hooked up to the simulation and this is all nonsense. Probably the only reason I didn’t turn up is my spouse. We are together 1.3. This is the link that binds me and my son. Looking at how he hugs and kisses him, I wonder. As I, it seems, the mother from whom this little man came out, I can not love him. And how can he be a man who is not a father. This is a mystery to me. And I'm afraid to admit it to anyone. ”

“The husband does not give me money at all. Like if you need to buy something, go to the store with me. And I’m going to the store with him, so soon the raids that he spent a lot of money because of me.It always aches that a lot of money is spent on children. They say the son drinks so many Agushka. It is so expensive. The constant nagging that you have to pay for a kindergarten and for dancing is 5300 per month. And the fact that he swells a month, according to him, is only 8-9 thousand, is this normal ?! I do not buy myself anything. I’m afraid to take kefir once again, because I’m afraid that it will whine again. I don’t ask for 100 rubles for the road and go on foot once again. I don’t go anywhere, I don’t see anything. All day long only mops, rags, brooms. Children are constantly piggybacking. I break them. For disruptions, I get luli from my husband. The husband himself is still that pig. After him, too, a lot of cleaning. I don’t feel like a person for a long time, I'm some kind of robot. Everything is the same. And no respect from her husband.

Well, I would be a bad person. But it’s not so. I am a kind, helpful, hardworking person. Do me good, and I will make you a million times better. I’m always with a pure heart to everyone ... Today there was another scandal, after which I was a fool and had to go in three letters. My husband found out how he found out .. I told him right away, and he pretended that I had hidden it from him. In general, I spent 400 rubles on the money he gave to pay for the kindergarten. And these 400 rubles were spent on: 1. A vital medicine for my son (son of an epileptic) 2. Transferred 150 rubles to a kindergarten for an event alone. 3. I bought eggs at the request of my husband. All. Not a penny spent on nonsense. So such assaults fell upon me. I have already started a tantrum. I roared and yelled. It was all with the mother-in-law and with the children. The husband yells, I yell, the mother-in-law is in shock. I can not go on. It shakes me, everything in my eyes ripples. Ready to pack and dump. There would be no children, I would go to the station to live, but where should I go with the children? ”

"All. Girls, I burned out. I held my best. My beloved and desired child has ceased to cause me even a minute tenderness and something else there. Only a muffled annoyance. In my heart I love him, but my dear mother, how he infuriates me. He is 1.2, but this is horror. I can’t already, sometimes I want to yell in the voice or hit, just so that he shuts up, falls behind me, lets me sleep peacefully, etc. This is despite the fact that I perfectly understand that I have a gift son, he is quite calm, just wants my attention, play and all that. And this is my problem - I can’t give it to him. I try to fight this, 1-3 times a month I have a day off, for 5-6 hours I run away from this nightmare. But who would know how I persuade myself to come back every time ... ”

“Lord, how tired I am of living on sedatives. The child is 11 months old, awl. I can’t even pee a pancake. He can’t sit in a stool, and always runs off somewhere so that he can self-destruct ... I can’t afford epilation, I can allocate some 600r. And the husband buys cigarettes for a 200r pack and feels in chocolate. And I sit, cry, and disgust myself. After giving birth, I got a little better and I’m not wet in any of my clothes, I’m wearing my mother’s! They gave money for my birthday, out of the total amount I made myself hair removal and manicure. I was ashamed to spend money on myself !!! How did I get to such a life ??? And how to return from this quagmire ?! It seems like my husband and I love each other, and the baby is welcome and long-awaited ... But I very often yelling at her and I say that she got me ... I hate myself for this. "

“After a doctor’s appointment at the clinic, I sat down for a minute in the lobby ... and realized that I didn’t want to go home. It’s spacious, soft chairs, an automatic machine with coffee, quiet and no one pulls me or whines. I got sick, SARS and otitis media. And I also did not sleep most of the night - first because of work, then - because of the whining of the youngest. But who cares? It seems I will not be back soon. I’ll say to my husband who stayed with the children that there was a very large queue in the clinic. ”

“I wanted to write how bad it was for me that the child was sleeping, the wind was viciously humming outside the window, and I was alone, I was lonely. The husband always disappears with friends with guitars, filming, now he has gone to make friends with a friend, so he will give his cub 15 minutes a day ... When I see women with children, I think what they are not talking about, is it really so with the majority? For me, this is the discovery that this is how men merge from everything, leaving the woman alone with all this, everything breaks me from this discovery, I still can’t just believe in this universal n **** c. And also, there is always a fantasy to go back in time and do something or not, but I love my child so much that I lost this fantasy, I can’t even dream. ”

“I think I need psychological help. The baby is 11 months old.Pieces of food, instead of eating, put in a glass. Do not eat, play. I suddenly burst into tears. And then it started. I cook, if I don’t eat, I have tears. If he drops everything to the floor, I cry. She doesn’t want to dress, she breaks out, licks a vacuum cleaner or a battery, climbs onto a windowsill - I'm in tears. That's all right. But I haven’t parted with him for almost a year 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Guards and ss. I have not been alone with myself since December. The maximum - 20 minutes was while running to the store, dad was sitting with the child. The husband leaves for work at 7, arrives at 20. We bathe, I pack, and the child wakes up at 5 in the morning every day. I do not enjoy anything at all. I hope the roof went simply from fatigue. ”

“I have three children (two of whom have not yet gone to the garden). Sometimes it seems to me that I have lost my mind, that I have schizophrenia, that I have only one way out - out the window !! I’m scared from thinking that I (it seems) understand what kind of impulse arose in the sick brain of that woman who threw her two children off the balcony of the 8th floor .. ((I try very hard to be a good mother, try not to yell at children, follow the guidance of psychologists and do not use physical punishment… but how??!

Tell me how not to yell and not peel when one constantly jumps the goat, yells and complains, the second beats in hysterics on the floor from the fact that he was not allowed to eat cream, and the third 12-kilogram one, still not able to walk properly, hangs on his leg and comes from whatever he wants on his hands, and I have fucking cutlets on the stove burning ... And then, tears, self-eating, hatred to myself and to the situation .. I don’t know whether it’s possible to publish pictures, but this one shows the best way I have been living the last few years !! ”

“I love my son, but the feeling that caring for him is my only purpose ... He’s 4, they didn’t reach the garden for health reasons ... Will this ever change? By the way, I want to write on the topic of mimicry photos. If anyone on the page has a solid mimimi and a happy mother, this is not an indicator. I also like to upload successful photos. Although on the same day I can yell at the child, and then cry for 2 hours in a row ... But the love for cool pictures of my son (and sometimes myself) does not decrease from this. ”

“For days I go after the child and wipe the spilled and smeared, pick up, rearrange the scattered ... If I do not, then after half an hour of my“ laziness ”(as relatives say) terrible pogrom and chaos happen at home! And the child only does what is dirty, refuses flatly to play. Husband for days playing in the comp. Mom comes only to yell and poke at what kind of pig I am and a fucking mother. No one is even trying to understand! ”

“The oldest child is 3 years old. The youngest is 10 months old. The elder says ... no, I would even say, chattering without ceasing, clogging my brain and entire space, asking endless questions: why, and what is this color, and why is it this color, eh? And so all day. The younger one requires no less attention: he screams and asks to walk under the arms. Walkers and deny help. And they go to bed after midnight !! The apogee becomes the insult of the hubby (who decided to crawl out from behind the computer) to refuse to give him a massage. Offended, bleat, can you imagine? ”

“The child hung on me for days. But I stood it. We celebrated the first year. And here are two strips. A husband without work. Now is the 4th month of pregnancy. And the husband does not work. I had to move to my mother-in-law, there is no money for a rent. He sits and waits for the children to come. Can you imagine As many as 2908! Relatives have holidays, anniversaries, weddings. And we can’t go where empty-handed. And so I want to see and chat with at least someone. I look at my husband and understand that I do not like. He sits all day either at the computer or on the phone. There is no help, you need to ask for everything, he himself will not even think of feeding the child. Rude and rude in the order of things. But where will I go ... There is nowhere to wait for help. I'm afraid that one can’t do it. So I endure. ”

“And I'm tired of the ideality that is broadcast in all social networks.Look at the instagram, have you seen at least one account of a really sickly mom there? Well, or at least a post about how some mother specifically got sick of it? The show is only ideal, and from this, not ideal (that is, almost everyone, because we are living people!) A complex of guilt and a bad mother / wife, etc. develops. And everywhere it is “you must”. It should take out easily and without a hitch. How is it - did not do gymnastics for pregnant women? Did you lie all pregnancy? After giving birth, you immediately need to regain its former shape. What does it mean - no strength? Are you not going to watch yourself at all now? But what about the husband? You are not only a mother, but also a woman - do not forget about it! Well, of course, you must be the perfect mom! Always smile (this is a must). What does it mean - no strength to smile? Does a child have to look at you gloomy? And do not forget about the development! Without development in any way, what are you! Make a plan and do it every day. Are you tired? You still say that you turn on cartoons, too, my mother. Do you turn on Peppa Pig sometimes? Yes, woe to the child’s mother .. ”

We also read: 12 things in mom’s life that she shouldn’t be ashamed of

“How wrong I was hoping for a pink motherhood. Of course, I’m tired and my husband, like many here, doesn’t want to help, sometimes phrases such as “you are a mother do it”, “I’m a man why I should wash the dishes” “I actually worked” sometimes slip too. In principle, my character and my eternal zeal to do everything myself smooth out tension. All these fucking posts about motherhood, beautiful pictures just shouted that I would be a beautiful mom with an equally beautiful stroller walking in the park shining from a new status and exuding vibes of kindness and peace from the realization that I am a mother. But x ** n to me!

I look like a disheveled, sometimes stinking, yes, yes, I didn’t expect it at all, crazy woman who gallops in incomprehensible clothes, sometimes in spots, and almost always runs mint with a child whom she had difficulty cradling and God forbid she wake up because that a walk with us is possible only in a sleepy state. And so, day after day, groundhog day, in which only the degree of my degradation changes. You know lately I read your group and I think you are so great that you organized it, you did a really good job. You need to release a book with real stories of mothers, then include it in the school curriculum and let the girls, future mothers, know what motherhood really is, and not only girls, boys also need to know what it is like to be a mother! ”

“I'm so furious about all of this! This is some kind of conspiracy ... society is lying to young childless girls that motherhood is great happiness, rejuvenates the body, pink heels, photos of happy families, smiling thick-skinned babies all over the Internet, in books, in antenatal clinics, uti-way, syu-syu -siu ... They all lie. Moms, grandmothers, aunts, childhood friends, doctors, TV programs, instagram bloggers ... Nobody told me that you will go crazy from lack of sleep ... for years !!! That you’ll be all dirty and smelly to walk ... for weeks! What completely lose yourself, your hobbies, desires, work, friends! What health will be shaken! What a relationship worsen with her husband! That there will be no sex for months! No one talked about the daily groundhog day, lack of money and complete dependence on her husband, postpartum depression, crumbling teeth, tears, prolapse of the uterus, etc., etc. (well, you all know who I'm telling) ... So I want to convey the truth to the girls who are going to get pregnant! Personally, I would like to know the truth. My child is welcome and planned, BUT !!! if I knew the truth, I would at least be able to prepare better, or postpone this step a little, for example, to dig up my experience, money, turn to a psychologist ... It's a shame to tears! Why did everyone cheat on me ?? !! This group is the only one where they write everything as it is, and not vanilla snot ... What a pity that I discovered it late ... "

“Well, I can’t do it anymore. I am 27, two children. They lived for themselves, and then walked 2 years ago. I walked for 2 months, I fought hysterically, the earth left under my feet. Cried for days.And I didn’t even understand that she was pregnant. As a result, forgiven, we live further. The second son was born. And he has work on business trips. I, like everyone else, haven’t washed my head, everywhere with children, there’s no help. As a result of pregnancy, pregnancy. Well, one day I’m calling. And in response, some kind of aggression. I immediately realized that someone is. He comes for the weekend, swears “there is nobody, only I love you, etc.”. Well, no, no, no, after a couple of days I accidentally answer the phone and hear “but ... Can I?”, Of course I ask, “who does he have to do, etc.” in response, I hear, “and I am his girlfriend.” That b ** b ** c !!!! She is his girlfriend !!! And then I who after 9 years of marriage ???? !!!! I can’t, I can’t forgive him. I will never forgive him, and how can a person be forgiven if he does not even ask for forgiveness ?? !!! Kicked out. Two children in their arms, 6 years old and 1.2. And I'm waiting for the third. It’s very hard for me. Money is sorely lacking. I live with children for children in 5800. It sometimes happens that there is simply nothing to feed the children with. Then I'll sit down and cry. Children feel sorry for madness. They remained alone with me, my relatives, my most beloved. But he doesn’t give a penny. And I can’t even file for a divorce, it’s a pity to allocate 600 rubles for state duty from 5800. Than I will feed the children later. Now, if only I knew what could happen. I would have thought 100 times before getting married and having children. It’s unfortunate that it all happened. ”

“For me, the hardest thing about motherhood is the psychological factor. When everything gets you, you can spit, send everything to ** en, score everything, leave, leave, etc. If you are not mom. Otherwise, you are deprived of this opportunity, because your duties will not be fulfilled by anyone but you, and your conscience will be seized with a child. And it turns out, to whatever degree of fatigue and despair you have reached, you cannot afford to stop. You must. Round the clock, always. In moments of fatigue and despondency, awareness of this tears my roof. And, I think, to all of us. Therefore, many vkray embarrassed mothers and see the only way out in suicide. Hang on, girls. This feeling of hopelessness has also now covered me, I feel like a servant, an empty shell, dull, tired, useless. I love my child, but I hate my life after his birth. And myself too. I know it will let go when I get enough sleep. Only will certainly return again. And he will come back regularly. ”

“My strength is no more. The once beloved mch, with whom I had just an ideal relationship, who wanted to get married, with the appearance of my stomach I suddenly fell out of love with “fu, hide your belly” and “well, you’ll reach the bus everywhere, I’m too lazy to get up in the morning and take you everywhere by car” and “Go to work, I don’t have to feed you.” With the advent of the baby, everything became much worse. I thought I would see the baby, like 2 drops like him and everything will change. How so. I am alone with a child around the clock, the missus works from 10 a.m. to 11 p.m., and sometimes doesn’t come home at all, sleeps with friends who constantly call him to thirst with nights. That honestly do not saw. Well, you don’t want to get out, wash the dishes and sit with the child at least once a month - well, ok, I don’t force it, all by myself.

And today he issued "Well, I gave money for an abortion, you did not have an abortion - your problems, you ** be afraid." He ate, washed and left. And I sit again unwashed and hungry and the child is torn in her arms, wants to eat too, but I just can’t even clean the potatoes with him in my arms. The chest is empty, I'm tired. And I can’t understand everything, well, where have I been so guilty before him that I turned from my beloved and dearest into “a bastard scum fucked up, boring you?” The house is always clean and ready to eat for his return. I am so afraid of ruining my baby’s life, but he’ll probably grow up without a dad. Cute girls, unfortunately on the forehead of the asshole is not written that he is an asshole. and even if 5 years he will be gold gold, it is not a fact that with the advent of the baby he will remain the same. and no one is safe from this. ”

“For two weeks I stupidly looked at the wall, incidentally on the machine, dealing with a child with absolutely no emotions, and wondered how and when exactly I would kill myself. I began to drink pills, greatly reducing the tit, but not finding the strength to remove it at all.My husband is nearby, but for half a year already, on the subject of helping in this excommunication, he freezes - merges. ”

“#Mother motherhood is when a child can’t sleep for 2 hours and all the deadlines have passed, all the kefir has been drunk, and you see all the songs and fairy tales he’s tired of, and there’s a little tower, and a gingerbread man and a fucking chicken Ryaba, with her golden egg , and when the mad mother already says that “the testicle wasn’t simple but stupid and grandfather beat him, didn’t break, and then his grandfather put him in f ** u and went for a walk!” The child fell asleep after 2 minutes. "

“Hold on, my good ones! I read and my heart pours, how many of us are like that! Personally, my child sleeps very poorly, wakes up endlessly at night, approximately every 20 minutes. And he is already 2.5 years old! Doctors can’t help, I listen to endless criticism from my mother-in-law, stupid advice from my husband. Only debts, poverty and hopelessness. But I don’t think about suicide, because I won’t leave my son to raise these crocodiles. I will tolerate a little and we’ll go to the garden. Hang on, virgins! Everything will pass, the children will grow up, we will get enough sleep and become happy again! ”

“And I turn on my daughter cartoons. Here I include everything and xs otherwise. Otherwise, I can’t wash, wash, or wash the dishes ... When we are in the kitchen and she is sitting in her high chair, she quickly becomes bored, although she gave her everything that can be given to examine. My daughter is 11 months old. ”

“I go to the castoffs. I buy clothes in second or Avito. The child walks in the winter kit for 400 r for two seasons. I’m no longer ashamed to go try on my second-hand sneakers for myself, because there’s nothing to wear. And today they quarreled with her husband: they went shopping and he started the hall ****, like look at how many things are on the child, there is no need to buy castoffs with Avito. Type went and bought. I say nothing that I have nothing to wear? And if you buy everything you really need in the store, we will have nothing to eat. It became a shame, even cried. I sometimes sit looking for what is cheaper and better, where to save. And so he found two times. I'm a fool. The worst thing is that we have no love. Even hell with this love, no respect, no support. There is nothing left ... All day here you rush there, lunch dinner, walks, shops with a ghost, the same thing. And in the evening no one will say an affectionate word. Well, if you do not poke your nose that something has not been done. Passes, sits down to the computer. And after all, do not talk to anyone. You keep everything in yourself, save up. Resentment sits in the throat every day, I feel like a sore throat. Often imagine jumping from a window on the top floor. But my son is sorry, he still needs me. Lord Yes, if I knew whom I would marry and what life awaited me, I would have fled to the other end of the world. ”

“Sometimes I feel a sense of unreality of what is happening. I look at my child. Almost 4 years. Almost a meter of growth. This man, separate from me, is talking, running around the apartment ... How did it happen? It seems that recently I was myself, there were some desires. Now I almost constantly feel like a servant, a nutritious soil on which this new life grows.

That is, somehow it turned out that I would spend for this role the servants for the child and the husband most of my life. I will spend on cleaning-washing-cooking, comforting the crying and forgetting about my personal desires. Kindergarten is not expected, an allergic child. Therefore, the flip side of my choice is to sit on. I don’t feel myself as a woman. As she stopped breastfeeding - the desire of the second child was gone. I feel like a fly frozen in the amber of the “live-for-child” moment forever. ”

“... I hung a pear. I hit her right in front of the child. This is a constructive way to relieve voltage. And every time I explain to the child that we, sometimes, get tired, and from this we begin to get angry. And when this happens, it’s better not to dump this anger on loved ones, but to do it like a mother. And what if mom is now striking a pear, we must stand aside and wait until mom stops and all the anger leaves her. And then I go and beat the pear until I let it go))) Now, at almost three, the child sometimes puts down a chair and hits the pear himself. And at these moments I also stand by. ”

“I’ve been on the decree for 9 years! Three children. Little 2.5 years.I live with children for benefits, I buy food for everyone, by the end of the month I have to humiliate myself to ask for money, they give me “what is it for you?” I spent everything, did I just give it recently? where do you spend so much money? ” And I feed 6 people, I buy all the garbage, no one notices. I don’t remember the last time I bought new clothes for myself and my children, I take everything at the local mother’s forum, Avito and in second. Second for me it became generally mania and a vent, this is the only place I can go to bed without children for 2 hours, so I run away to sell 90% every 2 weeks, and for 300 rubles I feel like a queen! I got to the point that I buy bras there (I used to think that it was straight fufufu) I read it and funny, 31 years old, my classmates “business people” are driving cars, and I ask for a couple of hours to ask for a break .... In appearance, we have an exemplary family, everything is dressed fashionably (all branded yeah), the eldest son is studying at a specialized college (that I had to carry him back and forth almost the whole of last year and part of this year with a little one in a sling or in my arms, and one-way trip for almost an hour by trolley), there is a car (which motherboard went to) driving only her husband ... Boska has not understood for a long time, I don’t remember either his name or his face or even what was for breakfast. I’m talking. Fatigue to such an extent that by 11 o’clock in the morning (I have to get up at 5-30 or 6) I can pass out while sitting. I don’t even have the strength to wash and comb my hair, let alone any personal care. Teeth catastrophically lost enamel. Tits ... it hurts to look at them .... I’ve launched myself and I don’t have the strength to do anything about it. ”

“I went to work. After 2 years of decree. I was so rested there the first day as I hadn’t rested in my whole life. With a child, a half-day nanny, a half-day grandmother, and even a teacher comes. He walked, entertained, he had already learned all the animals. The fridge is packed with homemade food that I cook at night. But no, mother is bad !!! There is no mother in the evening. She threw it. Cuckoo. She preferred money, not her son. She did what would be best for her for the first time in 2 years. I was taken to a good place with a good salary. To a woman. With child. At 35 years old. Before the decree, I was looking for work for a year, and I was also looking for a decree. I feel betrayed. My husband never took a vacation for my entire decree; he changed jobs - I supported him as much as I could. And he stabbed me in the back. Bring me in the evenings. I want to cry, but everything is already cried. ”

“One of the many disappointments in motherhood was the realization that no matter how strong and friendly a family may seem, nobody needs you with their problems. You need only a good, balanced, peaceful. Affectionate mother and wife. To cook tasty and clean at home. And not f *** but brains. Although you just talk about how you feel and ask for help. But when you feel bad, it's only your problems. You have to prove that you really feel bad. On what scale is the degree of maternity * estimated? When does she start yelling at little things? Or when it roars at the slightest trifle? Or maybe you need to be in a psychiatric hospital or in a hospital bed before relatives understand at least something? What kind of **** c is this - you pronounce yourself in an anonymous group where strangers understand you better than those who live nearby and have known you for a long time ... ”

We also read: What young mothers are most silent about: 3 terrible sins 🙂 (Personal story)

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