Happy anticipation of motherhood! Pregnancy and the expectation of the birth of a tiny child! How wonderful it is! Everyone just tells the future mom about what happiness awaits her.
And so the baby was born. A new life begins. Brand new! And why didn’t anyone warn the young mother that everything would turn upside down?
When caring for a child, please do not forget about yourself
Here it is, a new life: sleepless nights, dirty diapers, a roaring baby ... Is such a "happiness" expecting a future mother? Feed, wash, iron, clean, walk, put to bed and feed again.
Feeding and sleeping strictly by the hour - the baby should gain strength. Walk in any weather - the child needs fresh air. And it doesn’t matter that the thermometer shows minus 25 or it is pouring rain! After all, the doctor said so: “the child needs fresh air ...”, and the grandmother says so.
And what about me?
Wear an old down jacket and not my head - your time and money belong to the baby. In general, forget about yourself, and for about 60 years - until the child retires.
And what happens? Dedicate yourself to a child and completely forget about yourself? Turn into a robot performing a task? Well, I do not!
Let it look selfish, but a young mother should not only find time to relax, but also have time to take care of herself. A child can remain a child in the next 40 years! And what, at this time, to make himself a slave serving a penal servitude?
The result is sad - fatigue, anger and resentment at all and all. The feeling of prison and hard labor. But after all, with the birth of a child, our life does not lose value, this is firstly. And secondly, only mothers who have rested physically and morally have the resources to give them to their families. So if this is egoism, it is extremely reasonable.
Remember: only a woman who has rested physically, morally and self-confident can give the child everything that the senile always screaming from fatigue will not give.
Do you freak out the vagaries of the baby? This is normal
A child is a man who constantly requires attention. When mom wants to sleep, for some reason he does not sleep, when he needs to eat, he does not want to. And it all starts to annoy and annoy. Some people think: what kind of hysterics am I? I don’t know how to control myself. Calm down, this is normal.
In a moment of anger, just step aside and take a few deep breaths. Count to ten and return to the child. Hug him and say that he is the best. Most likely, he will answer the same and there will be no trace of anger.
The child can tire - this is normal!
Annoy. Angry.Enrage and piss off is normal. Tired of tales and nursery rhymes, sandboxes and talk about complementary foods. It happens, and that's normal. It passes - pretty fast. Especially if you do not blame yourself and do not call a bad mother, but just wait in the corner with a cup of tea and a grenade launcher.
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Anxiety about and without ...
Motherhood is an alarming time. At first, the young mother will worry why the baby eats badly or he has loose stools. Then, in a panic, she will run around a three-year-old who has broken her knee, and will raise almost all the doctors of the city to her feet.
My baby caught a cold ...
I got a deuce at school ...
Oh God!
And suddenly the teenager met his soul mate, and you do not like her at all! What to do?!
Now it will always be so. Take it for granted and try to stay calm. You are not alone in this world! You are a member of a huge social group whose name is “Motherhood”!
You will worry that baby poorly gaining weightthat a one-year-old baby walks slowly, and a two-year-old does not speak as well as his peer in the yard. A friend offended the five-year period, and now he will have a psychological trauma. And the teenager fell in love without a response, and it seems that you will have a psychological trauma ... They also get sick, don’t get home on time, don’t pick up the tubes, marry unworthy people and not bring up your grandchildren. It seems like forever.
We also read: 8 signs that you are an anxious mom
Family Relationship Crisis
Before the birth of your baby, you had a family idyll. You took care of your spouse, devoted all your free time to him, he sometimes brought you coffee to bed. And here you are - happy parents!
The first delight will be replaced by fatigue and routine. An abandoned spouse cannot understand what happened. He was left alone and must serve himself. The young wife barely has the strength to go to bed, and she doesn’t remember about affection and tenderness. And so it lasts a whole year, and maybe more.
Quarrels and curses begin, anger and misunderstanding appear. Many experts call the first year after the birth of a child critical for spouses. During this period, young parents should be patient and be loyal to each other. A man should try to understand his wife and offer his help. In your free time, play with your child and give your wife a break. She will appreciate the efforts of her husband and will thank him twice.
Loyal girlfriends were not so loyal
At first, a young mother, by virtue of her employment, will not even remember her friends. If they themselves will not make themselves felt. A good friend will pay a visit immediately after arriving from the hospital, even if she is not called, will be interested in the affairs of the newly made mother. Consider yourself lucky.
Some friends will disappear from sight - for a while, or even forever. It's not just that you have different interests. Just any change in life is a test of bonds for strength. And if the relationship rested on habit or boredom, then they will crumble like a tower of cubes. By the way, cubes develop large motor skills and learn to distinguish colors. Yellow and red children are the first to remember, although Serezhenka ... Well, Masha doesn’t ring anymore.
Well, with a person who refers to his employment, it’s not worth trying to keep in touch. Alas, your friendship did not pass the test of strength.
Parents will help out quite the way you imagined
Happy waiting for the first grandson! Meeting in the hospital, lisp and tenderness. And that is all?! And where is the promised help?
And do not expect! Parents are still young enough and they have their own lives. Grandfather's promises to go fishing with his grandson will remain a beautiful fairy tale. But young parents will always be taught to raise a child. Grandma and grandpa came and went, and you decide what is better for the child and what is not! Listen, agree ... And do as you think is right!
And not even as they themselves promised. "Take away every weekend" will turn into "come for half an hour once a month." Three months at sea - on Sunday in the country, carriage - in a pumpkin. No, we all know, no one is obliged and should not. But it's a shame.
We also read: Help grandmother after childbirth: the arguments "FOR" and "AGAINST"
You break a dozen of your own pedagogical principles
Burn everything worshiped. Put the child in his own bed, you will include harmful cartoons to sleep, sit on the phone, soothe sweets and bribe with toys. Raise your voice. Skip walks. Eat chocolate while breastfeeding. And remain a good mother.
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Unfortunately, after giving birth, many women become depressed, and I understand why. There is stress, and fatigue, and sleepless nights, and much more - everything is falling lumpy. You just have to wait, it will pass.
When my first one appeared, I went through endless anxiety and nervousness. Unusual load, a lot of responsibilities. Fortunately, the husband supported and understood, was not offended. After about a month, I got involved and became calmer about everything, ran out to the gym and to the beautician, the baby is my great happiness, but not to the detriment of everything else!)
Before the birth of the child, I read a lot and knew for sure that you must feed the child by the hour. But when I bought Benjamin Spock’s book “The Baby and His Care,” she turned my mind around and I became easier to relate to.
Despite all the difficulties of raising a child, many women are happy about motherhood and do not consider this something incredibly difficult. This cannot be replaced by anything, and every woman must go through it.
There is still much that depends on the child himself. Now, if my eldest daughter was restless from the very beginning, then you are at least cracking, with all your desire, you will not be able to devote more time to yourself. And the son, on the contrary, is calm, impenetrable, as they say, it is a pleasure with him, no difficulties. And personally, the book “French Children Don't Spit Food” helped me a lot, I advise.
It might be too early for a ten-month-old. On the other hand, at that age they quickly switch attention. Cried a couple of times in one place, did not receive the desired - went to another. Of course, I won’t speak for everyone, maybe yours doesn’t want to switch. It’s just in my experience that these “toilet” problems arise mainly in mothers who cannot refuse a child anything. They say it’s easier for me. It is easier for them, as soon as the child cried, to fulfill all his whims, than to forbid and educate.