4 reasons why we are not told about the difficulties of motherhood

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The life of young parents would begin in a completely different way if they knew in advance about the difficulties they would have to face after giving birth. But in the rainbow dreams of mothers and fathers, a child is a cute little ball that you want to kiss and photograph endlessly. Already at the wedding, the parents of the newlyweds actively begin to demand grandchildren, because children are the greatest happiness! But after the appearance of the offspring, all the complaints of the young exhausted mothers were prepared with standard, stingy answers, such as: “Did you think it would be easy?” or "Well, you knew what you were doing!". And the friends who have already managed to give birth are in no hurry to talk about all the difficulties that await young mothers. I wonder why?

First reason I was voiced by one of my good friends:

Why intimidate future mothers in advance? After giving birth, in any case, they will have to go through all the difficulties of motherhood, but against the background of happy moments, these problems will not seem so terrible. No need to thicken the clouds and paint everything with black colors, otherwise it may seem to the expectant mother that caring for a baby is only nights without sleep and an endless change of “dirty” diapers.

Surely you have repeatedly noticed that even complaining of difficulties, parents often add: "Despite everything, I love my baby more than anyone else." A man without children will miss this phrase, and only negative will remain in his memory. No wonder ...

This reason can be called the main, but it is far not the only draw motherhood in pink. Grandparents, who so asked grandchildren, maliciously recall their sufferings and remember well the times when they themselves raised children - among other things, without diapers, washing machines, multicookers and other devices that make life easier for modern parents. Of course, there is a scanty chance that over the decades they managed to forget all their sleepless nights spent near the crib, and now they really dream of calm, sweetly snoring grandchildren smelling of milk. But in most cases, we have a strong feeling that this is simply their credo: “We suffered, now it's your turn to suffer. And then your children will suffer. I didn’t suffer - not my mother! ” And the older generation will only reproach them with laziness and irresponsibility for all the complaints of young parents, instead of providing real help.

And, of course, the so-called "White coat syndrome"that is thriving on the internet.Where are we without family life in it? One of my acquaintances, a psychoanalyst in an accessible form, explained to me how things really work for those mothers who sing in forums and blogs about their ideality.

It’s not the desire to tell the whole world about your happiness, or even the opportunity to make money advertising children's products that makes boasting in the social networks of many of them;
They often spam beautiful photos from dissatisfaction with their own lives. The dad of the child may not take an active part in caring for the baby, preferring to spend time with friends, can abuse alcohol and even practice assault;
Children may not be as perfect as their moms try to expose. They can bring their parents to screams dozens of times a day, disobey and throw tantrums for any reason. In the apartment, in addition to a clean corner next to the bed and toys, there can be a complete mess. But you will never be recognized in this and you will never know this truth. Everything is wonderful with them, they are the best mothers in the world, caring wives, they have no problems with breastfeeding, they do the best crafts in the kindergarten and show the baby cards with tasks, and their children are always healthy and sleep sweetly in their cots all night;
They do not talk about real difficulties and their problems and always keep silent. But you will most likely be arrogantly reproached and poked with your nose, that you are lazy and can’t do anything good. Probably you have often seen such moms in the comments of any article on popular blogs, forums and social networks. And having read such posts here, expectant mothers have the illusion that caring for a child and motherhood itself is easy, the main thing is not to be lazy and treat everything positively. This is where their main mistake lies!

Well and finally fourth reason. No matter how trite it sounds, but it's money. A happy pink-cheeked baby, a clean apartment with a cozy children's corner, and a beautiful smiling mother with make-up in commercials - this beautiful picture shows us happy motherhood and sells it quite successfully. And at the same time, baby diapers, purees, educational toys, heaped up stylish baby strollers, eco-friendly toys and much more: just buy it and your child will be the happiest!

Being a parent is fashionable. And in fashion, there is no place for eyes swollen from tears, tangle in the hair, scars on the stomach, postpartum depression and scandals with her husband. And there should be no place for daily routine and bruising under the eyes from lack of sleep. In an ad for a baby in a diaper, she sleeps calmly all night in her bed (they often see this ?!), and does not stare at night into the chest of a sleeping mother. And it certainly does not smear waste products on the carpet. Unless the package with granola will be scattered - but a smiling mother in a matter of seconds will remove the mess with a miracle vacuum cleaner.

And the most offensive in this is that it doesn’t matter for what reasons, but the TRUTH is constantly hidden from us. Feel yourself a dystopian hero, dear mothers! But is it right that someone is allowed to decide everything for us? Every expectant mother has the right to know what really awaits her after the birth of her baby. At least in order to mentally prepare for motherhood.