Being good parents is not an easy task, which is why millions of couples are studying various books and manuals on how to deal with their child. Applying 12 tips for raising children, many mothers and fathers have already achieved success. So what is their secret? What rules do they follow to create a harmonious relationship with their children?
1. Patience at the limit is normal
How often it happens that children do not pay attention to the comments of their parents, and sometimes even violently resist their instructions. When a critical moment arrives, mothers and fathers give up - they give in to the child. In doing so, they want to keep the world, showing patience, they want to be “good parents”. But thereby parents lose their authority - if the children press well, then under pressure they will get what they want.
It is important to remember that everyone can lose patience, we are all people and everyone can lose his temper, there is nothing wrong with that. It is actually difficult to restrain anger and irritation, especially if children do everything as if for evil. The child must understand that you do not like this behavior, you can not go on about the son or daughter. Allow your emotions to manifest, rather than harboring them within yourself, let the child and yourself understand that you do not agree with the situation. The accumulated negative subsequently will surely find a way out, only then all family members may suffer, and children the most.
2. Teach your child to rejoice at toys, and not to calculate its price
Buying an expensive toy for the baby, parents are often asked to treat it with special trepidation, constantly reminding you how much it costs. But for the child this does not matter, because he still can not evaluate things and objects based on their monetary costs.
Understanding the value of money will come to him later, and when the children are small, they are equally interested in playing with simple trinkets as well as expensive toys.. Even playing with a simple piece of paper or a bag sometimes seems more fun to them than with a radio-controlled helicopter.
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3. Punishment - a manifestation of love
Do you consider yourself bad parents if you have to punish children? When a son or daughter does stupid things, you have the right to be angry with them, and therefore punish them.Reprimand is a loving measure; without it, the child will not learn to see the limits of what is permitted.
Thanks to timely punishment, children begin to understand that each of their actions has its consequences, they grow up people who are able to answer for their actions. Remember that being good parents does not mean at all that you have to look through your fingers at the bad behavior of your child and allow him to do everything.
4. Do not be afraid to refuse
How nice to answer in the affirmative to all the requests of the kids, because they are so sincerely happy! But a constant “yes” can lead to problems in relationships a few years later. A child who is not accustomed to refusals will eventually demand more and more, what then should parents do? Will they be able to fulfill all the whims and requests of a teenager?
Do not be afraid to refuse small children as yet, show firmness when you need it, saying your firm no. For the first time refusing a child, you may encounter resistance in the form of tears, moods, tantrums, but do not give in, if the decision is made, stick to your word. Once having lost to the baby under the influence of vagaries, it will later become even more difficult to refuse him something else.
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5. Educate children on their own
By not trusting children to do small homework tasks, doing all the work for them, you will achieve only one thing - when they grow up, they will not be able to do basic things such as warming up their own food or washing dishes. You need to accustom a child to independence from early childhood. Ask them to help collect toys, wipe dust.
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If the daughter wants to wash the plate, let her, even if the result is not the best, still praise the girl for her initiative and diligence. Never tell your child that he will not succeed, do not do the work for him. Such words will discourage the hunt at all to undertake any business in the future. In doing so, parents do not give children the opportunity to develop independence.
6. Do not deprive yourself of the right to rest
The obligation to raise children is a job that requires constant effort and attention, moreover, it is around the clock. You can’t quit her, get a vacation too. But mothers and fathers still need to rest in order to regain strength. Sometimes it is worth taking the so-called day off.
Teach your child to understand your needs for sleep and relaxation. Explain that while mom is lying down, children can entertain themselves with something interesting - to draw, to mold a figure from plasticine or just to watch cartoons. Accustom them to the fact that you need to play quietly and not make numerous requests to your mother when she is resting. However, observe the measure - the kids should not be left unattended for a long time, you will be rested, but the child should be left to his own devices.
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7. Form a habit of eating right from an early age
Full and proper nutrition at an early age is what you need to teach your children, because human health depends on it. If you yourself choose healthy products, let the child adopt this habit from you. It is a mistake to assume that while the children are small, they can eat everything - both sweets and chips. This does not mean that babies should eat only cereals and vegetables, but do not add fast food or other harmful products to their daily diet.
Grandmothers are the most dangerous here - they constantly think that their grandchildren are hungry, offering them either pies or pancakes. Tactly, but strictly explain to older relatives that, showing excessive care and love for babies, they harm their health.
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8. The appearance of children is not the end of life
Being parents does not mean giving up one's own interests and entertainment. Of course, mothers and fathers do not have much time to meet friends and go to the cinema, as before, when the children have not yet been born.But it’s impossible to deprive yourself of any kind of emotional discharge. It is important to learn to combine parental responsibilities with your interests, to find a middle ground.
9. Take an interest in the life of a child
By showing interest in what the kid is doing and keen on, you are building a solid foundation for good relationships in the future. In early childhood, a child can enthusiastically tell you about Pokemon, Peppa pig and other favorite characters, new toys and cartoons.
Delving into the words of children, learning their world, you become close friends. When the baby grows up, he will begin to share more adult problems and hobbies with you, knowing that you will not dismiss him, but support and listen.
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10. Parents need to be able to apologize
To base your upbringing on the principle “mother is always right” and stubbornly not to admit her mistakes is fundamentally wrong. Everyone is wrong - both children and adults. And since you teach the baby to apologize for his misconduct, be so kind as to follow your own rules and also admit your guilt.
Yes, it can be difficult, but there is nothing shameful about it. Such objective observance of the rules in your family will allow you to build harmonious and warm relations with your child on an equal footing.
11. The limit has come - take a timeout
There are situations when the atmosphere is heating up almost to the limit, when emotions, replacing each other, overwhelm and are ready to splash out. In this case, it is worth taking a timeout - ask your grandmother or friend to take the children at least for an hour or two in order to give yourself the opportunity to restore calm.
Feel that the peak of emotional overexcitation is coming, stop, go to another room at least 20 minutes, take a shower, think about the upcoming trip to the sea. So you will avoid many conflicts and learn how to stay calm.
12. Your children are the best in the world.
For parents, their child, even an adult (namely, he will be a child for you at 5 and at 45) will always be the best, beautiful, smart, cute and kind. Do not be afraid of your feelings, but show them as often as possible. Some mothers and fathers believe that excessive love and care will only spoil their children, so they begin to criticize them. Do not deprive the child of support and tenderness, because it is they who act more effectively than any educational measures.
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Actual article. Many parents just need to print, hang in a prominent place, and read once a day!