How to communicate with a naughty child - the story of one family

What to do with naughty children? Punish? Discuss their behavior with them? To deprive of sweets? Here are simple rules on how to behave with a naughty child.

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How to communicate with a naughty child: educate an independent personality

Articles on what to do if the child does not obey, published in many books, newspapers, on thematic Internet portals. Also, many mothers share their experiences with each other, because it is very interesting to watch how a child grows, develops and forms as a person. Moms who know each other personally, primarily discuss their children, gathering together for a cup of tea. And strangers - communicate on the Internet on forums and social networks.

Baby disobedience raises many questions in the head of young mothers. And the most important of them is what to do with it and whether something needs to be done at all.

Some memos describe the basic rules for mothers how to behave with a child of a certain age. For example, at the age of 1.5 years, the child already begins to show independence. He can be stubborn, not listen to what you say to him, and sometimes even become aggressive. In such memos, young mothers are advised to give their child more independence. Let him explore everything around him, learn from his own mistakes, and most importantly - constantly remind him of how much you love him. For older children, other recommendations are given.

Many parents have disputes over parenting. Men can blame women for being too soft, and women for men for being too harsh. The main thing in these cases is to find a compromise and in no case to quarrel, not to find out your relationship in a couple and not to raise one another’s voice with a child.

We also read:how to overcome disagreements in raising a child

The story of one naughty child: possible strategies for behavior when the baby does not listen to you

Maxim is a very naughty child. In his 1.5 years, he is showing full independence: he does whatever he wants, goes where he wants and tries to make everyone indulge his whims. And he would be more naughty, but he just doesn’t always succeed 🙂

Maxim's parents give him enough freedom, but if they see that the child is no longer obeying, they become firm enough in their methods of education. They do not spoil him too much, they are firm and persistent, consistent (if this is not possible, then this is not the point), while giving him more independence and giving him the opportunity to learn from his own mistakes. Maxim hasn’t come yet “crisis of three years“When children just become uncontrollable. But his parents have already made it easier for themselves - when this period comes, it will be easier for them to manage with Maxim, because their method of education allows the boy to show independence, but at the same time, Maxim's parents do not allow him to go beyond the permissible limits of behavior. Consider a few specific stories.

  1. Maxim likes to draw with markers, and once he painted walls, wallpapers and a sofa. Therefore, markers are no longer given to Maxim. He asks them, but they still don’t give him - he has not yet learned how to handle them. Instead, he was presented with special finger paints, which he now paints in albums with his parents. And he will get markers when he learns to draw on paper or in drawing albums and realizes that it is impossible to spoil furniture.
  2. Maxim loves cars. And not only toy ones - real ones are much more interesting to him. To take a closer look, Maxim wants to run out onto the road, which is very dangerous. But Maxim’s parents strictly forbid him to do this, hold him by the hand and do not let him close to the road, even if he screams, cries and breaks free.
  3. Any prohibitions and permissions should be logical and consistent. For example, Maxim loves to run through puddles. He can do this because Maxim has rubber boots. But you can’t get your hands in a puddle - it's dirty there.
  4. Maxim is very independent. He knows how to assemble a constructor, eat with a spoon and brush his teeth. And he himself falls asleep in the crib - Maxim does not need to be rocked. Maxim also helps around the house: he wipes the dust, he sits down on the pot and asks (we read an article on the topic: how to teach a baby to potty) remove its contents and even tries to clean the floors. And all because Maxim is not prevented from conducting his research experiments and experiments (how to teach and teach a child how to help around the house) Of course, within reasonable limits. And Maxim’s parents believe that he should be able to serve himself, so in their family it’s not customary to do absolutely everything for the child. Of course, he will have to clean up, wash, wash more, but gradually he will learn these skills, and the strength of Maxim’s parents will pay off with interest.
  5. Maxim is given the opportunity to learn from his mistakes. He can climb the sofa as much as he wants, try to stand on a chair to get something off the shelf, but if he falls or gets stuck somewhere - only he will be guilty of this. Nobody shouts to him all the time: “Don’t touch!”, “Go away”, “Wet your pants!”. Maxim makes the decisions himself. It is important that Maxim understands: you need to carefully stand on the chair, and you do not need to climb where you can barely climb. He will understand what is not worth doing and will act wiser. So Maxim learns from his mistakes, and with it he learns the world. Of course, he will be allowed to do only what poses the least danger. For example, no one will let him to an open well - here Maxim's parents have to be tough and pacify the child’s curiosity, which can be dangerous.

READ ALSO: How to raise children: carrot or stick? -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/stil-vospitaniya-rebenka-knut-ili-pryanik.html

How to raise naughty children: advice from psychologists

The first thing to do is to reconsider your attitude to the child. If the child does not obey - maybe he is dependent on you, but not completely, so he tries to show independence to the maximum? Remember that your child is a person with his own character, attitudes and habits. And you should respect this person, and not suppress the independence of your child. You must be aware that the little one knows the world - respect its desire for new discoveries.

You may be surprised, but you do not always 100% know what your child needs. Do not give out your own desires for him - it is better to enter into a dialogue with him and hear the real wishes of the baby. Due to the lack of such flexibility in communication with the child and the excessive confidence of adults in their rightness, conflicts between generations often arise.

Another effective way to interact is a personal example. Remember - the child copies your behavior. He does not lose sight of your words, actions, general style of behavior, copying them knowingly or unconsciously. So look after yourself - maybe in your child you just recognize yourself, and sometimes not from the best side.

If you want to get a strong personality, a real assistant and a hardworking, honest and decent person in the future, you will have to show patience and restrain yourself a thousand times, not breaking with shouts for the crumbs due to his disobedience. You will have to explain to him many times, tell and show the same thing in terms of acceptable behavior, if he does not understand or forgets, trust important matters at his own risk. And you also need to learn to respect your child and communicate with him as a senior friend. Your patience and work will then certainly bear fruit: the child will have a sincere desire to help you, and the constant fear that he will be scolded if he does something wrong will disappear.

READ ALSO: What if the child does not obey you?

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