Trust and mutual understanding are the best that a parent can achieve in raising his son. You just need to follow simple truths that help to raise a real man. Everything in this process depends on the position of the adult.
1. Any mockery is an injury: NEVER laugh at your son
For the male (even if his representative is still very small) a woman’s mockery is always an injury, and mother’s mockery is the deepest of them. No matter what you laugh at:
- over the fact that he didn’t reach the pot,
- over drawing a crooked cat
- over the clumsy declaration of love to a neighbor's girl.
Your mockery will be reflected in his psyche and will be remembered if not for life, then for many years! And it is unlikely that someday she will be forgiven ...
2. Answers to questions - better communication
Be sure to answer all your son’s questions, no matter what age and whatever he asks! Do not refuse him phrases:
- "You are still small"
- "Because gladiolus"
- "If you grow up, then you will find out."
Even if you do not know the answer to the question, admit it. And then find out - and tell. If the topic has caused you embarrassment or shame - this is your complex. No need to introduce it into the psyche of your son. Even if the child’s question has baffled you, just take the time out to get your thoughts together. Children usually give a respite easily, but always wait for an answer to questions of interest.
We also read: the age of “Why” or 100 thousand “Why ..? And why..?"
3. Advice of the child - a possible solution to your problems
Often the most serious "adult" problem your child can solve "at once." Have you fought over it for years? And two or three minutes will be enough for him. Ask your son for advice on a variety of topics:
- What color to decorate the rooms in your future apartment?
- Why are you always cursing with your girlfriend?
- What are you doing wrong in any situation?
So the future man learns to analyze situations and make decisions, and you show confidence and respect for him.
4. "I told you" - in the trash
Even if you really warned, but he didn’t listen, you don’t need to talk to him about it. Never. Any “I told you” is an attempt to compete with a child, where you rejoice at your victory. Do not even think about such a competition. Even if you were right, rejoice in silence. And he himself will understand everything, without your moralizing.
5. Praise is good!
Be sure to praise the child, admire him without any "buts" and amendments. Your son does everything cool and cool! He is a big smart girl. And when he grows up, he will see for himself what needed correction.
We also read: how not to raise a sissy
6. Every child’s dream is a great value.
“I want to be a fireman” - great! Buy toys, books and coloring in the theme. And after 2 months, “I want to be an artist” - and that's cool too! Buy again, and again on the topic. And six months later - an engineer. Etc. This is normal, in fact, it will be determined only by 18-20 years.
7. Crying - the little trouble of the baby
If your child is crying, he has trouble. Yes, insignificant in your understanding (think, in the garden they gave terrible milk porridge instead of casseroles), but just gigantic for him! He has all the troubles now - gigantic, because your son’s world is still very small so that some kind of porridge is lost in its true scale. And in times of trouble you need to calm down! No matter how old your son is. It is your direct responsibility to reassure him! An immutable law for your mutual understanding. You cannot ignore inconsolable crying, never.
8. Notations - the worst in parental performance
Never notate a child. Neither a year nor forty years. And this is without comment.
9. Son and parent - always on one side
You should always be on the side of your son, not just in words, but in deeds. Not worth it
- to assent to a teacher who complains about him,
- scolding him "for company" with the coach.
With outsiders, he is always right. With no exceptions!
We also read: raise a son. Father's allowance
And with this approach to raising his son, he is not afraid to ask you about the first kiss or oral caresses. Because he will be sure that you will not shame him or shout about the abomination of the issue. Because can trust you. Isn't that the dream of any mother ?! She is very real. You just need to want to achieve it.
We also read: the magic of speech, or what word is guaranteed to help you collaborate with your child
I would recommend many tips even when communicating with an adult man, especially about notations and about “I told you”)) And most importantly - give more encouragement and praise, I would put this in the first place.
Children should always be loved. By anyone. To understand and accept their shortcomings, to be always there, to help in difficult times. Such support is important for everyone, and especially for the child, so the parent must be extremely sensitive in dealing with his child. And for the boy, not only love in all its manifestations is important, but also a certain severity in education. This is a very difficult task - to educate a real holistic person (namely a man) without causing him moral trauma in childhood.
From my own experience (I have two sons), I know that boys are more touchy, so I always try to smooth over the emerging conflicts and try not to be on whose side. And to show that in irony there is nothing wrong often joking at themselves in their presence, and this helps, they know how to laugh at themselves or each other, and do not start up from any nonsense. But when the child is offended, I hug him and regret it.