It is not so easy to establish contact with the child, and even try to persuade him to take any action - and even more so. But adults can competently use the strongest magic word to achieve cooperation with their child. And that word will be the word “Come on”. Up to the age of 9, children have a weakly formed sense of their “I”. And constant commands and orders for the child are the inevitable construction of a wall between the parent and son or daughter. Isn't it better to instead engage in strengthening the natural connection that exists between the older and younger generations ?! Any order can be easily translated into a request and achieve a positive result from the child.
Whenever possible, try to invite your children to participate in a common activity with you. Even if you give your child some specific task, for example, to restore order in the nursery, be sure to precede this request with the phrase: “Let's get well prepared for the arrival of the guests”. If your assignment or request becomes part of an invitation to a common activity, the children are much more willing to make contact.
Formula “Come on” valid for most situations, but only until your child is 9 years old. After that, your “Let's clean up the room” It will sound false, especially if your participation in the cleaning process is not planned.
To encourage collaboration, try to follow these guidelines:
- Never order, formulate everything as a request.
- Try to arouse in your child a sense of cooperation with you, not submission. You can let him and show resistance. If the child does not have the right to refuse, argue and negotiate compromises, this is no longer a request, but an explicit order or demand.
- Phrases greatly facilitate contact “Would you do ” or “Do it please". On the "you are welcome" try not to skimp.
- Try to completely abandon all sorts of rhetorical questions and monologues.
- Formulate all your requests directly and positively.
READ ALSO: how to encourage a child -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/kak-pravilno-pooshhryat-rebenka.html
A few examples from life
Order: Take away the toys.
Request: Let's collect the toys from the floor. Can you put them in their places?
***
Order: Do not drop clothes anywhere.
Request: Let's put all the things in the closet. Would you put them on a shelf?
***
Order: Do not raise your voice at grandma.
Request: Let's respect each other and elders. Please speak with your grandmother politely, without raising your voice.
***
Order: Put on your hat.
Request: Let's protect your ears from the wind. Please put a hat on your head.
***
Order: Wash your hands before eating.
Request: Let's observe the rules of personal hygiene. Won't you wash your hands before starting breakfast (lunch, dinner)?
***
Order: Brush your teeth before going to bed.
Request: Let's get ready for bed and take care of the health and beauty of our teeth. Clean them, please.
***
Order: Turn off the TV (computer).
Request: Let's not bother with too much eyes for a long time watching cartoons. Please turn off the TV (computer), as soon as this cartoon ends. It will be in 10 minutes.
***
Order: Go have breakfast.
Request: Let's have breakfast together. Please come to the table.
***
Order: Do not chat with your mouth full.
Request: Let's not talk while eating. Please eat in silence.
When a child resists ...
At the very beginning of this approach, your child may feel too much power in their hands. It is possible that he will laugh in your face and even say no. Do not worry: this is to be expected. A child always has two options: either with pleasure to cooperate, or with pleasure to resist. In the end, you also do not always do what you were asked ?! I want to believe that no.
READ ALSO:
Mutual understanding, tranquility and harmony in the family - how to achieve this if there are children in the house. There are some powerful proven words that have magical powers. Try them in action and immediately see the result: 10 omnipotent words for parents -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/eto-polezno-znat/10-vsemogushhih-slov-dlya-roditeley.html
20 phrases that can never be said to children - dangerous words that break a child’s life -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/eto-polezno-znat/20-fraz-kotoryie-nelzya-govorit-rebenku.html
How to tell a child "DO NOT" -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/kak-pravilno-govorit-rebenku-nelzya-i-net.html
