Mutual understanding, tranquility and harmony in the family - how to achieve this if there are children in the house. There are some powerful proven words that have magical powers. Try them in action and immediately see the result.
Calm, only calm ...
1. "Whisper". Most parents can’t stand the pranks of their restless baby and scream. This happens unconsciously, emotions are stronger than us. Why is this happening? After all, breaking into a cry, we show our own weakness. Maybe you should work on yourself, give yourself a word and not raise your voice under any circumstances?
There is a proven technique according to which you can penetrate the mind of a child and convince him of something:
Establish eye contact with the baby and quietly tell him in your ear the information that he needs to learn.
This method gives amazing results, but for its implementation, parents will need tremendous self-control.
We also read: What should I do if I constantly scream at the child
Maybe yes, maybe not - this is such a simple answer
2. "May be". Every careful parent understands what the word means to the child. "not"when he requires something. This word alone causes hysteria, especially in a bad mood. To avoid such situations, remember the rule for yourself:
Replace the word “NO” with “CAN BE”.
Try to check and immediately see the effect. For example, the kid decided to watch a cartoon and asks you for permission. You tell him: "May be" and add that first you need to remove the toys and eat. The kid understands that he was given permission, only with a delay, quickly fulfills instructions and watches TV. You kind of programmed the child to perform certain actions, motivated him, promising a reward in return. The main thing is that you do not forget to fulfill this word, otherwise the baby will stop trusting you.
The words "a bit later" and "we'll see" have the same effect as "may be". Here are 5 more alternatives to tell your child “NO” -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/5-alternativnyih-variantov-skazat-rebenku-net.html
Do not forget to apologize to your children
3. "Sorry". Adults are often wrong with their children. But it happens that, having offended a child, we try to smooth out the situation, pretend that everything is in order. This is completely wrong. Having offended an adult, we calmly apologize, no matter who he is to us: a relative, acquaintance, colleague, just a passer-by. Why are we ignoring the baby? After all, this is the closest person. And he has his own, albeit still childish, opinion and sense of dignity.
Asking a child for forgiveness, we become a role model, an example to follow, we teach him elementary rules of behavior. With whom does the baby first take an example? Of course, from the parents. Therefore, learn another golden rule:
In the situation where you are to blame, ask your child for forgiveness.
Magic brake light
4. "Stop".It’s great when parents talk with their children and can agree. There is a powerful and effective way to help when the pampering and prank of a child becomes dangerous and noisy. You need to agree in advance with the baby that if he goes beyond what is permitted, you say one word to him: "Stop!" and offer to take a quiet lesson, for example, assemble a constructor or assemble a puzzle. According to the rules of the game, he stops all actions and is engaged in the proposed game. This is a powerful tool, but do not abuse it, otherwise it will stop working. So, one more golden rule is obtained:
The magic word “STOP” calms your child in an instant.
Catch the look of the child more often
5. “Eyes”.When can you be sure that your interlocutor is listening to you? When he looks into your eyes. The same thing happens with the child. Mom can scream loudly, but at this time the children consciously turn off their hearing and go into themselves. Therefore, your arguments and accusations simply will not be heard. The veil of alienation can only be removed with a peaceful look with a smile on his face. Go to the baby, mischievously say: "Where are our eyes?" and when your views meet, tell him in a calm voice all that you want to convey to him. This implies another proven way of raising a child:
Trying to convince the child of something, meet his eyes and say whatever you want.
Learn from mistakes
6. “Learning.”Our whole life is designed so that we constantly learn new things, learn and often make mistakes. Even in the old days, they came up with the proverb that learn from mistakes. A child, coming into this world, comprehends everything from the very beginning and at first constantly makes mistakes. So that the baby is not afraid to make a mistake and the inferiority complex does not develop against this background, try to maintain it at every opportunity and remember the golden phrase that should always accompany you:
“You made a mistake, but it’s not scary, everyone can make a mistake, we learn!”
Believe in your child and tell him about it
7. "You can!" A child is a person, only a small one, not yet strong and not confident in his abilities. The task of parents is to convince him of abilities, support in case of failure. If the baby goes to the goal and cannot reach it, tell him that time will pass and he will succeed. Give an example from your childhood so that he understands that at one time you did not know how to do many things. A great tool that motivates a child:
Tell your child that you believe in him, and he will succeed.
Let mom hear ...
8. “Be! “ Regrettably this sounds, but many parents do not listen to their children, they just pretend. What is this talking about? The fact that they are not interested in what their child lives is engaged in, with whom he communicates. So how do we understand our baby, how can we help in certain circumstances, knowing almost nothing about him.
Leave your problems and worries, forget about fatigue for five minutes and just listen to your baby. Give him a drop of attention, looking into his eyes. It is possible that these few minutes of immersion in the children's world will make you distract from everyday problems and your child will be happy. After listening to the baby, talk with him, tell a suitable story from your life, and, perhaps, you will be able to strengthen the connecting thread that is so easy to break. Remember one important truth:
Be close to the child, give him attention and listen to him.
Do not keep your feelings in yourself
9. "Is always!" Children by nature are noisy, restless and ubiquitous creatures, often able to annoy parents. In a family with a small child, one can often hear screaming and scolding. They scold the kid, shout at him, punish him, limit him in something.But this does not mean that they do not like him! Therefore, more often tell your child about your feelings, that you love him, and will always love. Do not skimp on words, this is important for the baby. Create a daily ritual in the family:
Every night before going to bed, tell your baby that you love him and will always love, no matter what happens.
Laughter prolongs life
10. “Laugh!”Parents are annoyed by many actions of children. But what if we approach the issue on the other hand, do not swear, but in a comic form discuss the situation and laugh at it. Laughter will distract the baby from unnecessary things and will cheer everyone up. Therefore:
Laugh with the kids.
READ ALSO:
- 20 phrases that can never be said to children - dangerous words that break a child’s life -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/eto-polezno-znat/20-fraz-kotoryie-nelzya-govorit-rebenku.html
- What words can not be said to children. The scariest phrases that a child can hear from parents. How words affect children -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/kakie-slova-luchshe-ne-govorit-detyam.html
- 15 phrases that a child should hear daily from mom and dad - https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/15-fraz-kotorye-rebenok-dolzhen-slyshat-ezhednevno-ot-mamy-s-papoj.html
And I try to remind myself more often that children are adults, just without the experience of living in our big world. And they are neither slaves nor servants to us, in order to have the right to treat and communicate with them disrespectfully. The child is a pure soul, and if he does something wrong, we do not blame him, but our oversight - we misunderstood, did not prompt how. Of course, children want to play and have fun - it’s just that we, under the yoke of “adult life”, began to forget how often we ourselves want the same thing.
With the advent of the baby in our family, we immediately decided that it was worth investing in the child all the best. Many said that it is not necessary to constantly regret the baby, if he is naughty, then leave him alone and he will calm down. What then will grow out of it ?! Until 3 months he slept next to me, because for the first time in the months of his life he needed to feel that his mother was always there. Now Antoshka is 5 years old, he grew up a kind and responsive child. Crying and acting up only during illness. Always clearly knows the boundaries of what is possible and what is not. In education, the main thing is love! Of course, experienced advice should be taken into account, but nobody knows your child better than you.