Parents often face childhood laziness. However, the reluctance to do something may hide the features of temperament, overwork, self-doubt, excessive custody and simply lack of motivation. It is very important to help the child find the interest that motivates him, will help to cope with apathy. This is the task of adults. Tips for parents on how to deal with childhood laziness.
Every parent must have been lazy about their own child. Such situations very upset us and cause anger and resentment. Well, we are trying so hard for him, but he doesn’t even want to wash the dishes for himself! We pay money for the section, but he refuses to go there! Often parents break down and throw in their hearts: “What a bummer you are!”, “Do not want to do anything at all!”, “Loafer!”.
In saying this, adults further reinforce the child's reluctance to do something. Bummer is so bummer, okay. Why else try? We ourselves put a label on the child, to which he will try to comply in the future.
In fact, among children there simply cannot be lazy people, because every little person is a bunch of all kinds of desires and intense energy. There are simply guys to whom adults have not yet found the right approach.
Behind what we call child laziness, there may be many different reasons that need to be addressed. Knowing the true reason, you can provide invaluable assistance to a growing personality.
Reasons for baby laziness
- Temperament. Congenital properties of the nervous system affect character traits, determine the individual characteristics of a person. A sanguine child or choleric is very difficult to give classes that require long-term concentration and perseverance. Phlegmatic and melancholy children like this more. But calm and balanced phlegmatic people will not want to perform a task where you need to quickly respond and actively communicate.
- Self-doubt and fear of possible failure. It happens that a child refuses to perform a task because of fear of possible failure. For example, he doesn’t want to prepare a report that will have to be delivered, because he had a negative public speaking experience, or is simply afraid of attention to himself, suffers from shyness. Here the reason is already psychological and lies in low self-esteem, self-doubt (We also read: Three valuable skills to teach your children - 3 don't be afraid of mistakes).
- Overwork. Maybe your child is so loaded with studies, extra classes, sports sections that just does not have time to physically recover? In the end, he will rebel and refuse to engage in activities that have become overwhelming. In addition, it threatens a disease in which the body is looking for an opportunity to relax.Do not compare your child with others who manage to be engaged everywhere. All children are different, and chasing after someone is the right way to discourage their own child.
- Excessive custody. Often, adults themselves teach the baby to be lazy, not giving them the opportunity to work hard. Moms and grandmothers clean up for the child in the room, fold their clothes, wash the dishes for him. When a baby of 3-4 years makes attempts to help around the house, we often say to him: “You're still small, let me do it”. Or the little one wants to get dressed himself, and we, being afraid of being late, dress and put on his shoes. Such parental tactics gradually extinguish the child’s desire for independence, and then we are surprised at who he is such a lazy person.
- And finally, the most common reason: lack of motivation. Both the kid and the adult will not want to do something that does not cause him any interest. Interest motivates the child from the inside out, arouses the desire to do something, helps to set goals and achieve results, enjoying the process itself. The task of adults: to help the child find such interest and create the conditions for its manifestation.
To help the child stop being lazy, help me find a field of activity that is interesting to him. Passion will become the core on which the child can rely in everyday life, will give an incentive to cope with school, household chores. Finally, this will increase the self-confidence and overall success of the little person.
How to help your child find something to his liking
- Gather as much information as possible about what your child is interested in. Talk to him about your favorite cartoons, games, activities. What he likes and doesn't like to do, why. Analyze what you know about his tendencies. Surely you can identify a range of interests in a particular area.
- Give your child the opportunity to try his hand in various directions. For example, it seems to you that the kid likes dancing, but he cannot realize this, because there is no way to do them (there is no such club at school, parents cannot carry far). If you really want the child to get involved in business, you must sacrifice something and give it a try.
- Do not criticize or scold the offspring when he didn’t succeed, it turned out to be “not his”. Let him seek himself as much as necessary. Soon, he will definitely highlight the most interesting activity for himself.
- Show sincere interest in his passion. Rejoice at his successes, upset at failures, praise for achievements. If possible, join the activities of the child, sharing his interests.
Feeling your support, the child will be able to find himself. His beloved business will help him to establish himself in his own strength, to take an active position in life. And most importantly, he will be sure that you love him, understand and support him. This will cause gratitude and a reciprocal desire to help you.
Well, when you see that the child is really lazy, cannot force himself to do something, the following recommendations will help you.
Fighting children's laziness: tips for parents
- Give a specific assignment. For example, “Collect toys,” “Throw away the trash,” not “What a mess!” Take it away immediately! ” (We also read: how to teach a child to help around the house);
- Consider the wishes of the child. For example: “Have a rest and a half hours, and sit down to do your homework”, and not “Sit down for lessons right now!”;
- Let me feel the consequences. For example: “Trousers and a shirt are wrinkled, you have to stroke them” and not “Ten times said: hang your clothes in a closet!”;
- Celebrate achievements. For example, “You were not distracted, and completed your homework quickly and correctly!”;
- Encourage and stimulate. For example, “It's nice to see how clean you are! Now we can go for a walk together. ”
We also read:Lazy child: how to deal with childhood laziness and how to teach children to work
The banal version of manipulation has not yet been mentioned. In my sister’s family I often watch children set a condition to get something - I’ll clean up, and you buy us this, do the homework, and you do this. But no - I will lie and do nothing. Sadly, this is their dad’s behavior model. So all parents first of all need not to be lazy themselves, not to be afraid, not to attribute it to temperament and character. It’s necessary, it’s necessary, and that’s the point.
In fact, I think that children are not as lazy as they seem - the whole problem is in the parents. There is such an observation that parents began to deal with children less often - they bought different phones / tablets for them, and when the child comes up even with the request “Play with me”, they say “Go play on the tablet” and this is my real observation! Yes, I agree that much depends on the temperament of the child and on his character, but I’m sure that this is all formed in the same way under the influence of the parents! It is necessary to deal more with the child, monitor his development, spend time with him and give him the opportunity to do some work (at least at home) himself, because in childhood, children love this “independence” very much, we must strive to ensure that he does not reject any requests with the phrase “I don’t want, I'm too lazy,” but with joy and desire I helped you and reciprocally answered your requests.