Raising honesty in childhood is a challenging but extremely important task. Parents often do not understand how to respond to lies, and disciplinary methods do not always solve the problem. If you want the child to trust you, be responsible for his actions, build fair relations, help him realize what sincerity is and draw a clear line between truth and deceit. We offer some simple tips to help you raise honest children.
- Set an example of honesty. The main rule of family education is to be a model of behavior for your child. Any discussion of an honest lifestyle, morality, and good deeds is broken down by your own example, which children see every day. Every time you say in transport that a child is less than seven years old, so as not to pay for a ticket, you justify a lie. Remember how often you asked him to answer the phone: "Mom is not at home right now?" Kids still do not understand that adults use the so-called white lie (a lie for good), so it is extremely undesirable to cheat in their presence. If you still had to lie, and your child was near, then be sure to explain to him the reason for your act. Do not be afraid to admit that you made a mistake, and you yourself are very unpleasant.
- Reward honesty. Sincerity is always the best policy, find a way to show your gratitude to the child, even if it is a simple “thank you”. If he honestly admitted his guilt, show joy: “I am very proud of you because you told the truth!” And here the difficult question arises: what to do with misconduct? If the baby is punished, another time he will try to come up with a more sophisticated story so as not to get caught. And if you leave the lie without consequences, then the next time he can lie because he did not have anything for it. The best way is to give a chance to improve, and also show negative results of lies and explain how important it is to be honest. You can say that you value the truthfulness of the child, and are upset when he cheats: “If you don’t tell what really happened, I’m very upset.”
Children are very fond of praise, which is why it is important to explain to them that good deeds must be done because it is so right, and not because of the opportunity to receive a reward. Refuse material incentives for honesty - this may violate the moral guidelines of the child. We read an article on the topic: How and why should children be encouraged? Do I need to use money as a reward? How not to praise the child.
- Explain that lying is not profitable. Discuss with your child how important it is to be honest and that people can lose confidence and even be disappointed in someone who is constantly lying to them.As an example, read literary works, where it is simple and exciting, without moralizing, to talk about the dangers of lying behavior: the parable “The Boy and the Wolves”, Collodi’s fairy tale “The Adventures of Pinocchio”, Rodari “Dzhelsomino in the Land of Liars”, Dragunsky’s story “The Secret Becomes Clear” and others. Let the children also watch cartoons and listen to audio tales in which the truth always wins.
Invite the children to imagine a society in which everyone lied to each other. Would he like to live there? Why not?
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- Trust the children. It is very important for a child to feel that loved ones believe him. As a rule, he strives by all means to justify this trust. If the children are faced with vain accusations of lying, then soon they will completely stop telling the truth. Why be honest if no one believes, and any of your words are questioned?
Also, one should not lay a negative model of behavior in children, constantly reminding them of their previous mistakes. If you will repeat daily to the child in front of kindergarten: “Let the educator complain about you today”, “Just try to hit someone today”, then with such phrases you yourself will provoke him to these actions. Explain that you do not doubt his strength: “Behave yourself - you can handle it. You have done well! ” The child will definitely believe you, and there will simply be no need for lies.
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- Do not give another reason to cheat. Adults should avoid situations where it is easier for a child to lie than to tell the truth. If the child dabbled and broke something, then there is no need to ask obvious things: "Did you break the mug?" Surely he will lie. It’s better to ask in another way: “I know that you broke the mug. Tell me how it happened? ” Such questions exclude any ambiguity and the likelihood of fraud. It is important to ask the child in a benevolent tone so as not to provoke him to lie because of fear of punishment.
- Do not humiliate children with interrogations. Do not interrogate children. They may regard them as a doubt of veracity and disrespect for their own personality. Sometimes things can even get to a skirmish: “I did not do that!” - “Did. Confess! ” - "It's not me!" However, this does not mean at all that any children's word needs to be trusted unconditionally, but any suspicion of yours should be voiced in the most respectful form. And if you doubt the honesty of the baby, then it is better to say: “I really want to think that your words are true. I’m sad if I know that you’re lying to me. ”
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- Children's lies: why the child is lying and how to teach him to tell the truth
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- Sneaky baby: why is this happening and what to do about it?
Be an example of honest behavior in the eyes of your child. Find true answers based on the age of the baby, because any adult lie forces the child to behave the same. Create an atmosphere of security and openness, and then the baby will not have to deceive you.
Children about honesty:
In no case should the child be deceived, then he will not lie. I always tell my son only the truth. But be sure to be gentle so as not to injure him.
Honesty is worth encouraging anyway. so the child will understand that there is nothing wrong with the truth. And I never scold the child. This is also a good incentive to tell the truth.
Raising an honest child is not so difficult. We ourselves are always honest with him, and this is what children always feel, and if a child says something bad without lying, we don’t scold him