15 signs that you are too strict on the child

Increasingly, the reason for turning to psychologists is the excessive severity of adults in relation to their babies. Many parents believe that children should be kept in tight rein, otherwise weak-willed or even loose people will grow out of them. Are you too strict on your child? Don't you think your expectations may be overstated?

The concept of "unjustified severity" is increasingly found in domestic and Western psychological literature. However, many experts still find it difficult to draw a clear line between the necessary and unjustified severity of fathers and mothers. In fact, this is not surprising. Indeed, the norms of behavior and the framework of acceptable parental reactions are individual for each family and are not determined by one single factor.

We offer 15 signs that you may be too strict with your child:

1. You "profess" a policy of "zero tolerance." No one argues how important it is to have clear rules necessary for the safe development of a child. However, it must be clearly understood that there is an exception to each rule. Instead of taking an authoritarian position, show your readiness to assess the behavior of the child in the context of specific circumstances: “Yes, I have said many times that you can’t fight. But I understand that you wanted to protect the girl. "
2. Your child is lying a lot. Many preschoolers love to exaggerate and brag a little. However, studies by psychologists clearly show that tough discipline measures are a sure way to turn little dreamers into inveterate liars. If you are too strict, your child can cheat on any occasion in order to avoid severe punishment.
3. Your child has more restrictions than other children. Rules and restrictions vary from family to family. But if the number of restrictions in your home exceeds all conceivable and inconceivable measures, this may be a sign of high expectations.
4. You are intolerant of children's jokes. Preschool childhood is a great time for stupid things, nice and funny tricks, noisy fuss and fun games. Do you think that children need to learn, not to do different stupid things? Of course, jokes quickly get bored, and your child’s fun can put you in an awkward position. However, perhaps it is worth enjoying the moment and having fun with the baby?
5. You condemn other people's educational measures. Strict parents categorically do not like that the teacher uses excessive liberty with the children, louts with them instead of teaching discipline and proper behavior (obedience). Remember that it is important for children to be open to adults, “preaching” different educational methods. So they adapt to adulthood.
6. Your list of rules is too long. The more rules, the less likely your child will be able to follow them all. Set simple but effective principles of behavior so that the baby remembers them. Write a list of the most important home norms on a piece of paper and refer to it in case of a dispute.
7. The child does not have time to relax and play. Some modern children are so busy after kindergarten that they don’t even have half an hour to do free activities, harmless hobbies and ordinary fuss with peers. By the way, many psychologists believe that in preschool age the desire to play and communicate with friends is much more important and useful than the ability to count to hundreds or knowledge of letters.
8. Do not give the right to make a mistake. Strict parents try to do everything to prevent the child from being mistaken. But after all, children learn from their mistakes when they are faced with the consequences of their own actions.
9. You find fault too often. The eternal discontent of parents does not allow the baby to take responsibility for their actions. If you find fault with a child every time he draws, tidies up a room, plays a musical instrument, then he will not be able to learn how to do his job on his own.
10. You are constantly giving directions. Have you noticed that you constantly remind your children of something like “sit up straight,” “don’t shuffle when walking,” “stop holding your hands in your pockets”? Try to save instructions for the most important situations, then your voice will be heard for sure.
11. You do not offer a choice. Instead of asking, “What will you do first: get dressed or make a bed?” Strict parents often just command. Give your children a little freedom, especially if both options are only beneficial.
12. You insist on your solution. Sometimes overly demanding adults insist on their own way of solving problems, not giving the kid the opportunity to learn and improvise: “Masha, you need to make words out of cubes and not build towers!” Remember, children need not only instruction from adults, but also the ability to be creative and the flexibility of thinking.
13. You praise the result, not the effort. Strict parents do not indulge their children too much with eulogies. And if they allow approval, then only for the achieved (usually high) result. The most beautiful drawing, the first place in the competition of readers, the best craft of plasticine ... Very soon, your baby can decide that your love for him is due only to his high achievements.
14. You are constantly threatening. While most parents only occasionally issue warnings to children, overly demanding parents threaten on an ongoing basis. They often say: “Clean up your room immediately, or I will throw all your toys in the bin!” Avoid threats, especially if you are not ready to fulfill them, and do not resort to physical punishment. (We also read: 20 phrases that children should never speak to dangerous words that break a child’s life)
15. You love to teach. Strict moms and dads often turn each activity into a compulsory lesson. Children cannot draw a picture without being asked about the color of the paints, or cannot play with the doll house unless they are constantly reminded of the proper placement of furniture. Remember that the game itself provides an opportunity for imagination and is an opportunity to go beyond.

Of course, not every child is a little angel who never causes problems. However, not all difficult educational situations can be solved only with the help of rigor. Love the baby, respect him as a person - and you will never be mistaken in the necessary balance of impunity and severity.

We also read:

Comfortable baby. Is obedience always good? – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/udobnyiy-rebenok-vsegda-li-poslushanie-eto-horosho.html

How to raise an honest child – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/kak-vospitat-chestnogo-rebenka.html

Top 10 Parent Mistakes in Parenting – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/top-iz-10-oshibok-roditeley-v-vospitanii-detey.html

10 tips to stop yelling at your children – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/kak-perestat-krichat-na-svoih-detey.html

How to react and deal with the vagaries of a child – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/kak-reagirovat-i-borotsya-s-kaprizami-rebenka.html