If the child is not friends with anyone: the fight against child loneliness

Childhood is a time of discovery, acquaintance with the unknown world and new people. But some babies prefer to sit at the TV or computerthan going out with friends. Going for a walk, they take mommies away from playgrounds and sandboxes. And in kindergarten such children do not play, but stand aside. Why is the child not friends with anyone and how to help him socialize?

Violation of socialization - when to worry?

The lack of social contacts in children is bound to alarm any parent. However, single moms and dads are satisfied with a single child, because it is convenient. All the time in sight, and not disappearing with friends, from which bad habits can be accumulated. Busy with household chores, not hanging on the phone. Does not bring home noisy peers, after which a migraine attack begins. It happens that adults themselves unwittingly isolate the baby due to constant anxiety and fears. Is it good? Of course not!

Unwillingness to interact with your environment is an alarming bell. It is no secret that further life depends on the ability to communicate with peers: personal and professional success, achievement of career heights. By what signs can you guess that your child is lonely and has serious communication problems?

• The child constantly complains that the guys in the kindergarten or school do not want to play with him, make friends and even laugh at him. By the way, you will not hear such confessions from shy and reserved children.
• It is worth taking a closer look at the behavior on the playground. The kid can run, swing on a swing, build a sand castle, but at the same time does not contact other children or, on the contrary, arranges numerous conflicts.
• A peculiar isolation is especially noticeable in a group or class where children spend most of the day together. Take a look at who your child is talking to, whether he is asking someone for help. At the matinees, note how active he is, whether his classmates choose him in a pair for dances and competitions.
• The little villain is not eager to talk about kindergarten friends, you have to literally pull this information out of him. He does not suffer from a lack of friends, is extremely reluctant to go out, loves to stay at home for the weekend and play alone.
• The child is very reluctant to go to the garden or school, trying to find any loophole so as not to visit them. He comes back from school / kindergarten upset and nervous. He answers evasively to any inquiries: "I do not want to talk about kindergarten".
• A birthday turns into a really sad holiday without classmates. By the way, they also do not want to see him at their own triumph.

Causes of Child Inactivity

• Children are often cruel and come up with insulting nicknames for those who are at least somewhat different from them. Excessive fullness, stuttering, wearing glasses, red hair - all this can become a favorite occasion for ridicule and, consequently, unwillingness to contact with peers.
• Popularity in the team may depend on financial position and appearance. Teenagers often taunt those who have unfashionable clothes or an old model of a mobile phone.
• The child grows up in an inhospitable family in which he is constantly told that friends can deceive and betray. Adults also find negative traits with each friend of their son or daughter: they study poorly, behave disgustingly, his dad works as an ordinary janitor.
• Perhaps the parents are busy at work or directed all their energy to a newly born baby. If adults do not pay enough attention to the child, he begins to consider himself unnecessary and is able to refuse to interact with peers.
• Shy children often become outcasts in kindergarten and school, as they cannot offer an interesting game and are afraid to make contact themselves. Forced isolation in early childhood due to a chronic illness, mother's anxiety and suspiciousness lead to shyness and fear of doing wrong.
• If a child behaves aggressively, believing that conflicts need to be resolved with the help of fists and curses, then with a high degree of probability he will find isolation and lack of friends.
• A preschooler raised on the basis of the “family idol” strives to always be the first, not wanting to reckon with the interests of other children. Such a minion refuses to be friends with everyone who does not accept his privileged position.
• At risk are the so-called domestic children, who spend most of their time talking with their grandmother and do not go to kindergarten. They have difficulty adapting in primary school because they do not have the skills to interact with a group of children.

We also read:How not to raise a sissy

The kid is not friends with anyone: what to do

1. If the reason for the child's isolation is an old mobile phone and an outdated wardrobe, you do not need to immediately purchase the most expensive things and a smartphone. Find out his tastes and preferences, and then discuss the purchase of a fashionable gadget, but taking into account the family budget. Children will become more confident if you reckon with their opinions.
2. Record your child in the sports section or dance clubif low social status is associated with excess weight. Thus, you will relieve him of numerous complexes about his appearance and help you make new friends or make friends with classmates who also attend this club.
3. Seek support from a psychologist if communication difficulties have arisen due to a particular behavior of a preschooler: aggressiveness, excessive touchiness, spoiling, arrogance.
4. The kid needs to feel your support, so give him maximum attention. Tell us about your own negative experiences related to the fact that you also had few friends in your childhood. Make a special emphasis on the successful resolution of this situation.
5. Have fun at home, invite children from kindergarten, school. Perhaps, outside the walls of the educational institution, the guys will be able to make friends much faster. Get to know the parents of other babies and get out for common family events: sit in a cafe, take a walk in the park.
6. Assign the baby to share sweets or apples, so he will gain the necessary authority among peers.Bring colorful crayons and a ball to the playground and organize a joint entertainment, in the center of which will be your offspring. Also contribute to the emergence of sympathy and friendship outdoor games: hide and seek, napkins, blind man's eyes.
7. Support every step of your quiet man who has decided to meet other children. Try not to give negative ratings to his friends and friends, so as not to ruin the initiative and freedom of choice.
8. Ask the teacher or class teacher to include the child more often in theatrical activities and role-playing games. Such classes will help him cope with shyness, reveal artistic talent and build friendly relations with people around him.
9. By the way, an experienced teacher will tell you which group is best in contact with the baby. Ask them to sit at one table for lunch and educational events.

Trying to establish the relationship of your child with peers, be extremely tactful: do not force him to be friends with someone, do not impose communication with other children. Remember, careless interference in your personal living space can lead to undesirable consequences.

We also read:

• Savage: or why the child does not communicate with peers
• Bad advice: how to raise a child insecure
• Conflicts on the playground: how not to bring to a fight?

Olga Gavrilova, a child psychologist and family relations specialist, talked about how to help a child make friends: