Vagaries and disobedience are the norm for all children who are just embarking on the path of socialization and do not yet know the norms of behavior in society. The problem is that when a child is very young, it can be difficult for parents to understand the nature of his aggressiveness, tantrums, and inattention. What are these problems with the development of the baby, which require an appeal to a neurologist and other specialists? Or are strange behaviors attributable to the usual lack of education? The advice of a professional psychologist will help parents find answers to these questions.
Upbringing test
To quickly understand the reason for the strange behavior of the child, it is useful for mom and dad to become ideal parents for several days. During this period of time, in any situation, you should remain calm, do not yell at the baby, do not scold him, do not show irritation and discontent. Ideal parents do not need to demand perfect behavior from the child, because he still does not own etiquette, good manners, is not fully responsible for his words and actions. At the same time, your requirements for the baby should remain objective, consistent and consistent with the actions of other family members.
If the problem lies in the mistakes of education, then during the experiment the behavior of the baby will improve. Of course, he will not immediately turn into an angel. However, feeling positive and understanding on the part of the parents, the child will be more willing to listen to them, and will begin to agree to fulfill their requests. The main conclusion of the upbringing test is as follows: so that the child behaves well, parents must be attentive to him, responsive and friendly.
When you behave well, the child also behaves better.
Behavior diary
If during the experiment there are no positive dynamics, we should highlight the main problem in the behavior of the baby - the one that causes parents the most anxiety. Perhaps the child closes himself in for a long time or, conversely, rolls up long tantrums. Observe what provokes such reactions as the child behaves during these periods, making appropriate entries in the diary. In the future, this will help the specialist make a diagnosis and make recommendations for education or treatment.
During observations, and indeed in any situation, you can not blame the baby for not obeying and upsetting his parents. Adults need to understand that the child also suffers. Every kid wants to receive encouragement from mom and dad, to hear approving words. If he does not deserve it because of his bad behavior, perhaps he is simply not able to behave differently.
When filling out the diary, special attention should be paid to:
- Date and time. Deviations in behavior and mood swings in children are often provoked by drowsiness, fatigue, bad weather, unpleasant sounds and even too bright or dim light in the room.
- Thirst and hunger. Vagaries and tantrums can serve as SOS signals that indicate that it is time for the child to feed and drink. From a hungry baby it is hardly possible to demand perfect behavior. Even adults, skipping the next meal, often become nervous and can not concentrate on anything.
- Temperature. Any pediatrician will say that it is better for a child to feel a little cool than sweating in clothes that are too warm. It is difficult for the kids to endure the heat - they become physically ill, and here it is no longer up to parental requests and requirements. At the same time, a frozen child may also remain deaf to your requests and requirements.
- Reactions to praise and censure. Approval and censure are tools that help parents raise a small person. If a child is happy when he is praised, he is upset when he is scolded, these are positive signals. With its development, most likely, everything is fine, and the problem lies in the mistakes of education.
- The presence of spectators. Children quickly realize that manipulation can achieve much from adults. Observe how the child behaves with guests and in their absence. If in the presence of strangers he is a good child, and scandals begin only in private with parents, the baby is well developed and smart.
Now it's time to familiarize yourself with the common problems in the behavior of children that cause anxiety to parents.
Symptom number 1. Aggressiveness
To an adult, any manifestation of aggression by the child seems unmotivated. To make sure of this, you need to try to put yourself in the place of the baby. For example, if you want to swing on a swing, a child can push someone who is already sitting on them. Physical aggression is the simplest solution, because asking and negotiating is much more difficult. If the baby still does not speak well, then all the more he will not be able to clearly express his desire, as any adult would do.
When to start worrying?
If the parents do not scold the baby for a whole year, communicate with him kindly, explain the rules of behavior, but he continues to behave aggressively with others, he may have development problems. Auto-aggression should also cause anxiety among parents - the child’s desire to specifically bite, scratch himself, hit his head against a wall. In these ways, the baby takes out anger and resentment, doing this involuntarily.
Parents should also be warned that the baby behaves the same with loved ones and strangers. Usually children allow themselves only in private with their mother, dad, grandmother. With a kindergarten teacher or nanny, they are more restrained.
We also read: 10 games to overcome child aggression
Symptom number 2. Shyness or autism?
In the 21st century, it is believed that a person should be open and sociable, sociable in order to achieve success in his career and personal life. If the baby prefers quiet games in solitude, has little contact with peers in the sandbox, parents perceive, at best, as selfishness, and in the worst, as autism. It is important to understand that everyone has different characters and temperaments. The desire to be alone can also be a psychological “property” in which there is nothing to worry about.
When to start worrying?
Parents should sound the alarm if their child does not seek to communicate with anyone at all: he does not participate in noisy games, does not leave the room even to those guests who brought him gifts, ignores the children he knows, and generally only contacts some family members. To rule out autism, it is important to monitor whether the baby becomes less shy when communication has been going on for some time. If, for example, at the end of a children's holiday or a friendly conversation, he “thaws”, then we are talking about ordinary isolation.Otherwise, it is necessary to reduce it to a psychologist.
We also read: If the child is not friends with anyone: the fight against child loneliness
Symptom number 3. Carelessness
Many parents complain that their children cannot concentrate on one lesson for a long time, they make mistakes due to carelessness. Adults believe that this will negatively affect grades in school. In fact, parents are often overly demanding. It is important to remember that up to 6 years, the baby is able to maintain a high level of performance only for 15-20 minutes. Then he suddenly gets tired and his performance is inevitably reduced. At the same time, it is very important that his motivation is constantly supported through rewards. Then the success will be much higher, and the educational process itself will cease to be hard labor.
When to start worrying?
A truly alarming signal is the inability for a child to concentrate on something for more than 5 minutes. This applies to all types of activities. If the kid quickly loses interest in reading, but for hours diligently puts the figures from the designer, then his parents just pick up the wrong tasks for him. Watch what distracts the child and when. If he prefers meaningless walking around the house to any activity, this is not a good sign.
We also read: How to teach a child to be attentive
Symptom number 4. Increased activity
Each child is an inquisitive fidget who needs to see everything, touch, try on the tooth. This common childhood trait can easily be confused with hyperactivity. But nevertheless, there is one important feature of “normal” activity: it must be productive and focused. If you understand the purpose behind certain actions of the child, then there are no reasons for concern. When a healthy baby climbs onto a cupboard, he introduces himself as a climber or searches for sweets hidden by his mother. A hyperactive child does it just like that, without a specific goal.
When to start worrying?
Parents should start to worry if the child’s excessive activity causes him to commit awkward and dangerous actions that threaten his health. For example, if a baby jumps from a great height, if a baby climbs to large dogs in the yard, runs out onto the road without responding to adult warnings. In such cases, specialist advice is required.
We also read:Hurricane child: how to deal with hyperactivity
