The consequences of hyperprotection for boys
Every mom worries about her baby. But quite often, this anxiety develops into obsessive guardianship, which impedes normal development. Most of all, this problem concerns the mothers of boys, as young men should grow up and become independent, responsible and purposeful individuals. Moms, showing excessive guardianship, performing all elementary tasks for their sons and controlling them every step, deprive their children of the opportunity to become full-fledged individuals who, in adulthood, could take care of themselves and their family, as a real man should.
How does excessive custody affect character traits?
Patronizing a child, a woman not only pushes him into a tight framework and does not allow him to develop comprehensively, but also deprives himself of the opportunity to live a full life, enjoy all its colors, enjoy the achievements of her own son. Because of their limitless love and devotion to their own child, mother hens simply don’t understand in most cases that they do a disservice to them with their behavior and treatment of their sons, not allowing them to find themselves and their place in this life.
Children of such mothers often grow up in a complex, irresponsible, helpless people, who then rush their whole life in search of their calling, they are constantly tormented by the need to choose between “must” and “want”, because they have not learned to combine useful and pleasant. “Mom’s sons” often can’t decide on a life partner, they constantly doubt the correctness of their decisions, avoid responsibility and very often shift their problems and concerns to other people.
How to build a relationship with a child?
No wonder they say that the more lazy a mother is, the more independent her child is. Doing all the work for the boy, mom does not give him the opportunity to learn something himself.
One of the common mistakes of mothers is criticism of the unsatisfactory behavior of the child at the time when it is necessary not to criticize, but to direct on the right path, that is, explain how to act in a given situation. This will allow the child to understand what is expected of him independence, help and understanding, and not just scolded for his bad behavior. You can not scold the child for the mess and scattered toys in his room, and then take the vacuum cleaner and clean it. The right decision would be if, after expressing his dissatisfaction, calmly ask the child himself to clean the nursery.And it doesn’t matter at all if he succeeds imperfectly or not as you would like, the next time it will still be better. Cleaning up after himself, the child begins to realize that he is obliged to do this, that this is also work and must be respected. After such a lesson, he is unlikely to want to scatter toys around the room again.
When the boy reaches a more conscious age, he will begin to notice some differences between himself and his independent peers. He will be confused by many little things that his friends can handle with incredible ease, and for him this is a whole science. This circumstance will strongly distinguish him from other children, and the boy will feel inferior.
Adult problems from childhood
All adulthood is literally risk-based. Independent adults daily make a large number of decisions on which their life depends. Solving any problems, we all take risks, but most of us are confident in a favorable outcome of the situation. Men who were overly patronized in childhood are often not able to make serious decisions and bear responsibility not only for their loved ones, but also for themselves. It is quite difficult for them to decide on a profession, because they will always face a dilemma - money or pleasure. The beloved sons, even in adulthood, shift all their worries, and even raise their children, to their mothers, who take an active part in their personal life further. Over-custody and care of mother-hens live the life of their child, although they must enjoy their own. Depriving themselves of their personal lives, such mothers deprive their children of the opportunity to become happy.
The main complexes of overly ward children
The biggest complex for overly ward boys is low self-esteem and self-doubt. These qualities do not give the opportunity to grow in a moral sense, develop, become a personality, an individual. To avoid such participation of your sons, you should not “block them with oxygen” and drive them into tight boundaries. Give them more freedom, communicate with them as adults. And be sure that they understand you perfectly.
READ ALSO: How not to raise a sissy -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/kak-ne-vospitat-mamenkinogo-syinochka.html
Sissy
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It is important to perceive your child as an individual, not to make decisions for him, but only to gently direct in the right direction, leaving the opportunity to make independent choices.
I have a son, he is 7 years old. My wife and I teach and educate him, but nevertheless, you can not keep the child under total control. He should have free time and space. My wife and I are of this opinion!
Even in kindergarten it’s already noticeable: who’s sissy. Boys who are not endowed with strong guardianship are more intelligent and lively. Protect girls and always participate in all children's games. And the sissies shed tears at the first failure.