A variety of children's goods and toys in stores often translates into big problems for parents. Many babies are in the habit of rolling tantrums if their mother or father do not agree to buy the item they like. To spontaneous purchases, devastating the wallet and rooting incipient egoism, was less, it is worth carefully studying this article.
1. Distracting maneuver
An ideal way to prevent the acquisition of another, sometimes completely unnecessary toy is to distract the child (divert the attention of the baby to a cheaper or useful toy or food in your opinion). Such actions are especially effective for reducing costs, because the baby does not know the value of things and can easily be distracted by less expensive goods.
In the case when the purchase is not foreseen at all, you can try to “talk” the child and remind him of the same or similar toy at home, agreeing to play with him on his return from the store. Many children literally cling to chocolates, chips, and other far from useful "snacks." A description of what delicious food awaits the child at home will help here: perhaps he is already hungry and will agree to calmly go home.
2. Promise to buy another day
If you can’t completely refuse your son or daughter, you can promise to buy a toy later. This will allow him to suppress his demands at the very beginning, not to go on about it, while not allowing tears and disappointment. Most often it happens that the child quickly forgets about his own request, and then you can successfully save funds in your wallet. Almost certainly the baby is already the next day and will not remember the thing that he did not need at all. Nevertheless, it is worth keeping promises: in this way the authority of adults will be preserved, and disappointment, remembered for a long time, will not befall the child.
3. The ability to say no
Not every parent can firmly stand on their own opinion when it comes to buying another bauble for a child. But one must be able to refuse, because in the future, indulging children in everything can result in serious troubles, for example, off-scale egoism. A soft, non-specific refusal will only inflame the little sly man; he will quickly feel the weakness of his parents, who cannot resist his demands. Uncertainty is fertile ground for new requests, each time more and more persistent.
So that the child does not beg for a toy in the store until its purchase, it is necessary to stop such attempts immediately and firmly. Of course, you should not shout, as well as say “no” in a tone pierced by guilt and fawning.It is better to look the child in the eye and calmly, but clearly say no, making it clear that further bickering is pointless.
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4. Explanations are still needed
As a rule, just the word “no” is not enough, and the excuses “no, because I said that” or “just not, that's all” will not help.
It is worth saying that a simple refusal without the right to discuss will not be completely honest with the child. He can perceive it as an inattention, an excuse, a lack of love for him, which will negatively affect the relationship. Do not show your strength, belittling the baby and not giving any explanation. Children, too, have the power to understand a lot, and a reasonable interpretation would be most welcome.
It is necessary to tell why the purchase is impossible, taking into account the age of the child, because he simply does not understand the vague discussions about the crisis in the country. If the required toy is very expensive, you can talk about its price and compare the cost with the amount in your wallet. Also, the child must understand that the purchase of such a toy may result in the inability to acquire more important things - food, clothing.
When a child wants to buy sweets, other goodies that will harm him can be told about the negative consequences of such products. So, from sweets teeth can hurt, from chips - stomach, etc. Thus, the baby will be able to understand the failure without problems.
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5. Yes and no "in one bottle"
How to repulse the child’s perseverance, but not quarrel with him and seem to agree? You can apply the technique "Yes, but ...". For example, when asked to buy a toy they say “well, but you already have a few such toys, but where to put the old ones, there will be no place for them”, etc. Sometimes you have to use more than one argument, but then the child will get tired of arguing, and he will back down.
6. Zero reaction to tantrums
Sometimes it happens that none of the described techniques helped, and the child made a real tantrum right in the store. Usually this is his “control argument”, especially if once he has already helped to get what he wants. If you succumb to tears and persuasion once, then similar actions of the child will follow. The best solution in such a situation is to quickly remove the baby from the store (or even carry it on hand), and in private, strictly explain to him that such actions will never lead to the purchase of a toy. It should also be made clear that parents will not talk to the child until the crying stops.
It is not necessary to console, beg the child to stop the tantrum, and urgently do not need to run to the store for a toy! When the children understand that they will not receive the required thing, the first reaction may be an even stronger cry. But the parental ignorance of the child’s cry forces the capricious child to stop the tantrum. In the future, the baby will definitely remember that such behavior will not help to “knock out” the thing he needs from his parents, and will not cry.
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7. Consistency in everything
It is a mistake to ban today, and Zavra to allow any actions and deeds. A reasonable ban on certain things must be in place at all times. Relaxing, you can give your child hope for the changing mood of their parents and a chance to still get what they want.
It happens that the purchase depends on the actions of the child. If he, by agreement with his parents, corrected a situation, the decision can be changed - as a reasonable incentive.
Example: a child asks to buy a puppy, but does not help around the house, and parents fear that he will not look after him. After the conversation and the clarifications received, the baby begins to behave more responsibly, begins to help around the house, becomes more independent, for which he gets a puppy. A well-deserved gift will serve as an excellent educational technique, which in the future will allow the baby to become more prudent and responsible.
8. Unified decision of all family members
The ban should come not only from one family member. If one of the loved ones buys the baby something that the other refused, the educational effect will be completely absent. All such decisions should be discussed with other household members, adopting a unified position on this issue. When there are disagreements, it is required to explain to them that such behavior will undermine the authority of the parent in the eyes of the child, and this is unacceptable.
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9. Acceptance of denial by the child
Despite the difficulties, it is impossible to force the baby to agree to refusal through the use of force, screams. But you will have to try in ways of persuasion, because acceptance of rejection is an important step in growing up a child. This will allow at an older age to independently evaluate how rational his desire is, whether it will harm the family and budget, whether it is worth mentioning it.
Being able to say no is important, but the child should not refuse all requests. Adults are also often mistaken, so categorical judgments are not always true. It is not necessary to make the baby cry once again, it is better to show love and respect for him, but - without allowing spoiling.
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The promise to postpone the purchase the next day is not a solution to the problem. This is only her delay. Still, the main thing is to be able to say no. It may be difficult to do. But in the future, as a little man grows up, it is great to come in handy. And if parents are able to argue such a decision, and even so that the child understands and agrees correctly, then this is just wonderful. But this is all in theory. In practice, this is far from always the case.
It’s very difficult for any child what to refuse, even when you try to be more polite with him, he does not understand. To fulfill all the wishes of your child, you need to be a millionaire. The best and most proven way is not to take children with you to stores with children's toys.
We had no such problems, up to 3 years for sure. Now asks, but without tantrums. If you start asking, I suggest saving money for a toy or turn my attention to past wishes, if in my opinion they are more useful.