All parents want happiness and prosperity for their children. Everyone strives to raise a kind, polite, open child, but sometimes the result is the opposite. Adults sometimes in their own words and deeds underestimate the self-esteem of their son or daughter, make their child feel guilty and behave like a victim. Of course, parents do this not consciously or intentionally. On the contrary, they think that they instill in the child the skills of cleanliness, accuracy, teach him to behave in a friendly manner to others. It’s a paradox, but it turns out quite the opposite: while mom and dad think that they are giving their baby the best, he becomes more and more withdrawn and unsuitable for independent living.
Do you want the child to be uncomfortable in this world, so that he does not know how to communicate with people, gets into unpleasant and risky situations? Just follow our “harmful” recommendations - and the effect will not take long.
1. Make sharing
Remember that the crumbs should not have anything of their own. Accustom the child to the fact that he is obliged to give his toys to everyone who asks him about it - especially if the magic word “please” sounds. Even if a toy has just been presented to a baby, he must give it to another child upon request. Refuses? Then call him greedy.
From the youngest years, teach the baby to give in to everyone - children in the yard, grandparents, dogs, all-all ... And it doesn’t matter that you and the baby stood in line for half an hour in the line, but then another child came up and started to cry? Of course, let him go forward. Your baby will wait another half hour - for him this is a mere trifle. The main thing is that a stranger’s boy will rejoice, but explain to his own that he is very kind and acts generously. Teach your child that in life such trifles as slides, swings and generally any entertainment are not important at all.
We also read:Should a child share toys?
2. Suggest that crying is a shame
Explain to the baby that only bad and ill-bred children cry and get angry. Your child is not like that. He grows as a person - whole, in harmony with himself and with the world around him. Such a person should not succumb to negative emotions. Constantly inspire the crumb that only dysfunctional people who did not know joy in life shout and cry.
3. Scold for any mistake
You know that your baby is a future genius, that he is smarter and quicker than everyone else? Explain this to him. Inspire the child that he has no right to make a mistake, because he must be perfect in everything, he must catch everything on the fly. If the baby doesn’t know something, it’s better for him not to take it at all.Rigorously and unconstructively criticize him, do not bother with the selection of arguments and immediately turn to the individual.
Do not overdo it with praise. Show your approval to the baby only when you yourself consider that he has made an outstanding achievement. Can't a child do something the first time? Tell him that he is a couch potato, unskilled, half-witted and hopeless. Compare with other children and do not forget to add that another boy or girl is much smarter.
4. Teach that courtesy is paramount
Teach your child that you need to think how to make a good impression on adults. Make the kid tell all the people who turn to him. He must grow up a sociable, friendly person whom everyone will love. If a child does not want to hug a grandmother, aunt or your best friend, make him do it. The child has no personal boundaries and cannot be, especially in relation to relatives.
5. Form guilt
Constantly remind the baby that he has a responsibility to you. If you have a headache, he is to blame for this - he didn’t obey, he laughed out loud, and now your head ached. If the shop assistant was rude to you, the child is to blame again, because he dabbled and angered others. If you overslept, received a reprimand from your superiors, lost something - all your failures and problems are associated with inappropriate behavior of the crumbs and he should know about it. Let the baby grow and realize the power of its influence on this world. He still has to live up to your expectations.
But before other people, the child does not bear any guilt and responsibility. Explain and inspire the child, no matter what happens in the kindergarten or on the playground, other children are always to blame, but not your child. Did your child push or call someone? Surely, that child is to blame, so let his parents understand. Your baby is initially better than everyone else. Your child is so cute, so small, he is the best!
6. Communicate with your child on equal terms
Adulthood can be quite harsh, and the baby must prepare for this in advance, so train this from childhood. Always tell the baby and keep the baby up to date with all your problems with money, about your failures at work, about quarrels and disagreements with your spouse. The child should know how dangerous the world is around, what kind of evil people are around, how hard it is for mom.
If the parents are divorced, the mother must explain to her son that now it is time for him to grow up, because he remained the only and main man in the family and only you can rely on him. The girl should learn as soon as possible that she is a princess, and men are not worthy of her. They only do what they deceive, and also "they all need only one thing."
We also read: 7 bad tips on raising a girl
7. Impose your opinion
The child is too small to have his own point of view. You, as a mother, always know better what your baby needs, how he should think and act, because you have life experience. Tell your child that he must always ask for your advice, permission, and agree with every word you say. Until the baby grows up and at least starts to understand something, a lot of time will pass. Therefore, now everything should be decided by parents for him. When the baby grows up, he will still say “thank you” to them.
Many of you probably recognized yourself in places while reading this article. Think about it - would you yourself thank your parents for such an upbringing?
We also read:
- Unsure child: how to help your child become more confident
- How to grow a self-confident child: 12 tips for parents
- How to raise and raise an optimistic child? Tips for Parents
- If the child is not friends with anyone: the fight against child loneliness
- How to develop a healthy self-esteem in a child?
- Savage: or why the child does not communicate with peers
- How not to raise a neurotic from a child: 13 typical parental mistakes
Bad advice:
I would also add my personal bad advice from sad experience. Try to do everything yourself for your child, because he should have a carefree childhood, he still has all the difficulties and problems ahead, even if he is resting.
In some I do not agree. The first four rules and the sixth I would leave at 50%. Still: you need to share, sometimes it’s a shame to cry, you need to conduct explanatory work about the mistakes made, otherwise the child will not understand how to and how not, politeness was always in price and respect, and to communicate with the child, especially in adolescence, it is really partially necessary on an equal footing.